Through Other Eyes
by Ocean Mint Leaves
Summary: The bond between the Once and Future King and Emrys incites the curiosity and awe of individuals, foes and friends, who cross paths with them. This is a look through the eyes of strangers who are marked by their encounters with Merlin and Arthur. No Slash
1. Change Of Perspective

Hi there :D

I've always loved the idea of strangers reflecting on Merlin and Arthur's relationship and marveling at the beauty of it. But I've been too lazy to carry it out until now ^^

This will be a series of ( rather) lengthy one shots, all in first person point of view ( since apparently I need practice with that ;) )

**WARNING: **There will be lots and_ lots_ of bromance with sprinkles of angst, humor and everything I can think of ^^

Any ideas and requests are welcome and received with wide arms but keep in mind that this is canon so _no_ Mergana or ANY slash.

I have to give credit to A Flame By Any Other Name for _"An Unfortunate Merchant"_ which basically gave me the idea, to ForIHaveOvercomeTheWorld for her brilliant series _"Why You Don't Mess With Merlin_" which has inspired me too, and finally to Colin Morgan for being so adorable that it makes my heart melt! :D

*****This first installment was inspired by Merlin and Arthur's hunts gone wrong and the obvious and sometimes annoying lack of depth in the druids of the show.***  
**

_A/N:**  
**_{ this is a re-upload of the chapter thanks to the amazing jediyam who pointed out that there is NO WAY neither in heaven or earth the healer ( she still lacks a name, if any of you have a suggestion let me know! :D) could be _that_ old. She was portrayed as ANCIENT when Arthur is only what...26? and so she could not have been alive THAT long unless this was set a bunch of years in the future which is _not._ Again, thank you, jediyam! Cookies and strawberry milkshakes to you! :) }

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**Change Of Perspective  
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I have to admit that I never thought I'd meet the Emrys in this lifetime.

I'd grown up as a young girl hearing stories about his kindness and power, and like all young druids I became fascinated by his mystery cloaked figure. The Emrys was a man I'd pledge allegiance to if I ever could, a man I would go far and high to help if I ever could be of assistance.

But those childish dreams were soon crushed after the burning logs that took away my family, Uther's Great Purge. My whole life, shattered like a broken glass before me, went away with the first whispers of the winter winds.

I lived and worked alone, on a hut in the Darkening Woods were I could hardly be persecuted anymore. I had been a remarkable physician during the years of peace but after my children and friends were taken from me, I did not trust mankind to be merciful. It was better to be unknown, unaided and hid from King Uther's dark eyes. Thankfully, My gifts of natural healing served its purpose when I made my living by helping a few wounded knights that sometimes came stumbled into my poor home with what little herbs I had in storage.

I grew old and wrinkled, you see. My hands were no longer steady, my hair no longer the color of the rising sun. I had spent all my life persecuted and hated, even after Uther finally took his last breath, for no one raised the question of magic's true nature. No one even breathed a word of compassion towards us, the oppressed sons and daughters of the Crystal Cave.

And by then my wrinkled body had long since extinguished the fire of hope. I no longer believed in fairy tales. I laughed at the face of the morning sun, which seemed to still wait for his Golden King. There was no Once and Future King anyone could seek, no Emrys to kneel in front of.

.

But my world would be shaken out of place one gloomy night in which I was sitting across the fire, staring hard at the flames and trying to think of how it would feel if I'd burned with my friends and family.

Curled fists suddenly attacked my fragile wooden door while a voice bellowed: "HELP PLEASE! SOMEBODY HELP!"

I jumped out of my sit, stared hard at the door and felt my old heart pick pace like a reared horse.

"PLEASE! SOMEBODY….!"

I could take it no longer. Sprinting towards the door I opened it brusquely to find myself staring at a tall young man with a mop of raven hair and piercing eyes, soaked to the bones. The sheer desperation on his voice was plastered on his features, as clear as clean water. He was supporting another man heavily, which blond head was resting wearily on the young man's shoulder. I must've just looked at him with puzzlement in my eyes because he repeated again a strangled "_please_…." adding softly "he needs shelter…"

Still in a daze I opened the door and let them pass. Bowing his head, the young man walked carefully towards the small cot I kept for the people who needed my attention and laid the muscular man in there, as gently as a mother would do with her child. That's when I had a chance to observe him better and I was struck by the paleness of his features the protruding blue neckerchief and how_ wet_ he looked as he passed a hand through his dark hair, breathing heavily while kneeling besides the other man.

"Alright you big dollop head" he said, completely disregarding my presence "You need to pull through this, is only a flesh wound see...?" I saw his shaking hands press against the side of the blond man's chest and come out red with dissolving blood. In my experience, I have to say, I'd never seen such a gaping wound before. I could practically see where the – _spear_, if my calculations were correct- had penetrated the man's chain mail.

With a start I realized that I was harboring a knight of Camelot on my home.

The young man with those striking blue eyes started shaking. It was soft, almost unnoticeable at first but then I realized he was _crying_. I understood why. No human could ever survive such a thing.

So I did the only things I could think of and the only things that made sense at that moment. I offered my help.

My request was met by a pair of incredulous; tear filled blue eyes, innocent and wide as he said softly "are you a healer?"

I told him I was.

He stood up like if he'd jumped out of his skin, hands shaking and grasping my delicate arms tightly, saying almost breathlessly " save him, _save him_….!"

I tried to nod but he was shaking me so hard that I was sure I'd snapped my own neck if I did. So I settled for smoothing his hair back with my trembling hands, trying to soothe him although I knew there was no hope for his friend.

"Just hold still my dear…." I said, stumbling upon my own words as I dragged the young man to a nearby chair (which he immediately scooted towards his dying friend.) "You've received quite a shock, now…what's your name?"

"Merlin" he said softly, his eyes fixated on the rise and fall of the other man's chest.

I felt my tongue like dry parchment as I saw his- _Merlin's-_ eyes dart through the empty hut, taking in my lack of supplies…my empty promise. A thunder roared outside, like a hungry beast.

I saw Merlin's eyes widen when his companion's breathing became labored and became even paler. He got up from his seat, paced around like a caged lion before finally kneeling down besides the poor cot, his hands tangled between his messy raven locks.

"Please do something" he said quietly, directing that unnerving gaze towards me while he tried as he might to stop his teeth from chattering "_please_…!"

I lowered my eyes, unable to look at the disappointment in those dark blue ones.

And I said the truth.

"I cannot do _anything_, my boy"

The hope in his eyes shattered in less than a second. But it was not gone, _oh no,_ not gone _yet_. He still had hope. There was mad hope in the thin line those lips formed next.

"Tell me what you need…_anything_…please, tell me"

I looked at him, barely comprehending what he was saying when he pointedly looked outside as another thunder threatened with throwing the skies upon our heads.

"No" I said before I could catch myself, my own survival instincts acting up. Because he couldn't possibly be thinking about going out in that storm just to save a man who had slim chances of living anyway.

He looked at me with those clear eyes, as if he'd read my mind.

"I've endured _far _worse for him, and if you think I'll sit here and let him die you're wrong. _So tell me,_ please. I know you'd want some yarrow…"

Another flash of light illuminated the horizon and I could see the firm resolution on his face as the cold white light touched his elfin, pale features. And I made sense of it in a second, because I had seen families torn apart and rely heavily on the members who were left, as my own had. And I had no doubt that this two youngsters...had to be related, somehow. Brothers.

"Young man, I…."

Another thunder, followed by a weak moan from the bed and a feverish coughing of "_Merlin_…."

The young man turned his head sharply towards the sound of his name, burying his head on his hands for a moment before sighing softly.

"And I guess some periwinkle if I can find some…"

A loud echoing scream from the night.

"And some comfrey maybe…."

He started fidgeting with his neckerchief, wringing it thoroughly before tying it around his neck again, looking at me with those determined blue eyes.

Still, I kept trying to make him see reason "My boy, you shouldn't go outside with this…."

"Where can I find them?" he asked, not even acknowledging the sincere concern in my voice "Just tell me where they are, I'll be here as fast as I can"

And for some reason, something inside me clicked and I _gave up_. Who was I, after all, to keep this young man from getting killed by a lightning bolt? If he wanted to charge into that furious storm for his agonizing brother then….I wouldn't stop him.

"All right" I conceded "Yes, some yarrow and comfrey will be necessary if we are to treat that kind of wound…."

He nodded and to my great astonishment didn't even ask for a cloak. Directing a last concerned glance at the immobile man on the bed , Merlin went out of my poor hut, running through the night as if he couldn't feel the way water poured down on him. I stared at his tall form as he disappeared through the trees, my mind reeling with a thousand questions. The first: Was I harboring a knight of Camelot in my home?

I turned around and walked to the blond man's bedside, taking in his handsome features and drenched appearance. But for some reason his aspect was less soggy than that of Merlin. It was as if he'd had some special protection to get him through, although the blood loss certainly made up for the lack of wetness. There was blood _everywhere_, all over my gray sheets and in his hands, traveling down his chain mailed torso.

I stared into his face, trying to see the features of a murderer beneath the frig of golden hair. But his expression was one of anguish, anxiety almost, not one of a cold blooded killer. He looked almost…compassionate… _Just_.

As I studied that strange combination….( for no knight of Camelot had ever shown any dignity in my perspective) the man's eyes flew open. Eyes as blue as the morning sky, wide and teary. They roamed around my room, almost in a daze before he fixed his gaze on me.

It was almost as if he wasn't seeing _me_, and I believe he didn't. His eyes went beyond my own and fixed themselves on something outside of my poor hut as he murmured something unintelligible. Just before he lost consciousness again I saw a flicker of recognition on those irises.

But as I peered into his handsome face, into the tired lids and marble white cheekbones I couldn't help but feel my own heart constrict at the reality that there was no salvation for this man, at least, no _natural_ salvation. If I wanted to save him, if I truly wanted to prevent Merlin from breaking down when he returned from his fruitless, false hope giving hunt for herbs I'd have to use something I feared more than the burning pyre.

_Magic._

Magic, that thing that pulsed through my vein and that never left, not even when I hid it on a corner of my soul, too afraid to use it, too afraid to wield it. Magic, what had killed my family, what made my daughter burn while I could do nothing but stare.

And then this man, wounded and dying in my hut with his friend….( maybe brother?) battling a storm to save him…

People always told me I have a soft heart and I believe it was proven that night. For I couldn't help but place my hands above the other man's chest as I drew a long, gasping breath and listened to his short, almost nonexistent ones. I called for that magic I had battled for so long after it had proven itself to be the death of me and my loved ones... and let it fill me. Its power shocked me, the warmth and eagerness….

But I had barely used it in more than 60 years, and it was not enough. As I forced it into the dying body beneath me, the only flickering light that left my hands faded before it could make any change.

The man was dying.

And my magic, my last resource, was useless.

But I tried again, steeling myself and taking another large breath as I forced every inch of my magic out. Still just a flickering little warmth left my palms and I shook my head, believing I was witnessing this man's last breaths…

And then the unexplainable happened. Two damp hands took mine and I looked around to find Merlin behind me, looking down at me with an inscrutable gaze.

I believed for a moment that he would strike me down there and then. I was using magic, prohibited in the kingdom of Camelot and I would surely pay with my life. So much for keeping my magic at bay for almost sixty years…

But that was not what happened. And I cannot do nothing but describe, in awe, how Merlin's eyes turned a beautiful molten gold and his face morphed in concentration.

Immediately I felt magic rushing through my veins, stronger than ever, driven by a purpose that was no other but to save the man who was seconds away from death. This magic was power, gold and warmth, purity, nobility and honor, friendship, loyalty and…._love._

All in all, Merlin's magic rushed through my frail body and my hands trembled before they were steadied by his as two rays of light shut out from my fingers, reaching the blond's still chest and enveloping him with a warmth that was not unlike that of the rising sun.

I glanced up at Merlin's face and saw his eyes closed, lips parted as he breathed in and out, forcing his magic into my old bones to save his friend.

And I saw a _miracle _as the man's wound closed until there was nothing but a thin red scar on his chest. Merlin and his brother breathed deeply at the same time. Merlin from obvious exhaustion and the man from the lack of oxygen after death had brushed past him.

I looked up to Merlin's face again and saw he was smiling with relief. There was an odd look in his eyes, as if he'd emerge victor one more time and then, the most stunning words rang in my ears.

"Thank you." he said.

Meeting his grateful gaze with mine I let my jaw drop.

"Thank you?" I repeated, blinking as the warmth of his magic left my being "boy…it is I who should be thanking you! You…."

He held his hand up with a modest smile "I did what was necessary. But it was your affinity with healing what made this possible. So thank _you._"

Awed, as if struck by the lightning that was still roaring outside, I saw Merlin kneel by the blond's side, taking one of his large hands in his and dropping his head upon the rough mattress in silent thanks. There was no denying there was something more than what met the eye in this and as I tried to make sense of what I'd just seen I became aware that the young sorcerer was shivering. Then I remembered the storm and looked with wide eyes at the damp clothes that hung from Merlin's too thin frame and his dripping black hair.

"You need to warm up." I said, quieting a soft gasp that had escaped my throat. I placed my hands on his shoulders "You need to warm up now, darling, come here…come by the fire."

He nodded, a half laugh left his lips as he squeezed the other man's wrist in reassurance and I guided him towards my little hearth, which was slowly dying.

It looked as if the adrenaline was slowly leaving my young friend's body. His shoulders slumped and his teeth shattered as he hugged his knees while he whispered slowly _"Forbearne"_

The fire immediately regained strength, blazing with a lovely dance and spreading warmth throughout the small hut. I stood up and fumbled with my little cupboard, bringing out the only two blankets I had.

Another thunder roared outside.

"Here, my boy." I said softly, putting a blanket upon his shoulders and wincing at the coldness of his skin "This is the only two blankets I have…"

"You should keep this one then." he said rapidly, taking it away with a swift movement.

"You need it more." I said, shaking my head and giving it back with a firm push "Just…make good use of it."

He looked at me as if I was his personal savior, that gentle boy, before he stood up and placed one upon his friend's still body, hesitated a bit….

And also placed his, almost tenderly, upon his companion.

I watched, mesmerized. I must say, I'd never seen anything like it. My only companions were my herbs. My only love was my own survival. How could I understand, at that moment, a love so true and pure, a friendship that transcended the rules and walls of everything I'd ever known?

He came and sat with me at the fire, trying to warm up his cold hands. But that smile that graced his lips was so wide and so full of happiness that I dared not say a word against what he'd done, even if I knew it may cost him a bad night.

So I said what had been swirling in my mind since the moment he placed those hands in mine.

"You have magic."

He shrugged as he fingered his pockets and placed a bunch of soaked herbs on his lap.

"So have you." he answered softly, looking at me as if he could see my soul.

And I stayed quiet because I still didn't understand. What was a friend of a knight of _Camelot_ doing with _magic_?

"But yours was…restrained." he added softly after a moment of cold silence "You were…_afraid_ of it."

I didn't ask how he knew but I did let my old eyes travel to his friend, gazing at his Pendragon seal which shone brightly on the red fabric of his chest.

"He's a knight of Camelot." I said, almost in a conspiring tone.

Merlin looked at me with a half amused smile "In a way." he said, eyes twinkling.

I didn't catch the meaning of his cryptic words but at that time they mattered little. What I wanted to know was the reason for this…odd, almost suicidal act. A sorcerer being friend with a knight of Camelot.

"And you have magic…."

He nodded, the coldness still sweeping through his clothes as one violent shiver coursed through him. There was something about him, something about his eyes that gave me…almost hope.

"Arthur doesn't know, though" he said, almost as if he was talking to himself, his eyes lost in the warm flames. "He still doesn't know…."

My heart jumped out of my skin when I heard that name. Arthur…as in _King Arthur Pendragon_?

Was I harboring a _murderer_ on my home?

Scandalized, I shot up from my seat and walked to that…that _monster's_ side. My eyes filled with tears of rage when I realized what I had done for there was no doubt in my mind now. _This_ was…this was the King that was murdering my people….

"We ought to kill him." I said, my voice trembling "we _ough_t to kill him boy, he is a murderer…he is the King…!"

"I'm afraid we can't do that."

I spurned around, in shock, to find that Merlin had stood up, hands across his chest while the shivering reduced to a minimum "I'm afraid we can't do that" he repeated

I looked into his eyes and saw absolutely no doubt of his intentions. He wanted to protect this man…a man that had murderer his kind…!

"Would you please listen to me…." He said, walking to my side and taking my trembling hands in his "Please…it is not what you think…."

"Not what I think?" I couldn't help the hurt that swept through my voice "He is a murderer and you are a _traitor_ boy…!"

"No" Merlin said firmly "_No_. He is not like his father. He is…Arthur's the Once and Future King"

I heard the words but the only thing that left my mouth was a dried, ironic laugh. Years of hoping and waiting for the fabled King had dried every drop of faith I ever held within me. And although I was surprised to hear the terms after almost 60 years…I couldn't help but feel bitterness inside me…._growing._

"_Don't_ say that, boy"

"And I am Emrys."

My heart stopped for less than a second when he said those words. That name, so dear to my heart for all of my infancy, slipping so effortlessly from that young man's lips. What game was he playing?

"You are _not_….Emrys." I managed, trying to regain sense of what was happening "You _cannot _be Emrys…"

"I am…" Merlin repeated, forcing me to sit by him in front of the fire. "Arthur will bring a new age of peace to our lands, I can assure you that" a soft smile tugged his lips upwards "I know him as if he was my own blood"

The theory I had formed around him being some kind of …_long lost brother _( remember, reader, that I was not well acquainted with the outside word at that time.) suddenly crumbled down and I stared at him in incomprehension.

"Aren't you…his brother?"

He laughed well naturally, obviously pleased that it looked like I had abandoned the idea to kill his precious King "his brother? No…I'm his servant."

I couldn't help but stare at him with my eyes wide. Of course at that time I didn't understand…but Emrys, the hero of the legends, being a _servant_ to the King? Where was the justice, the honor of my people? How could Emrys go so low?

Which meant this man was _not_ Emrys.

"You are not Emrys." I said out loud, looking straight into those blue eyes "Emrys would not humble himself so."

"Believe me." Merlin said, combing a hand through his slowly drying hair "It is not a choice."

I didn't want to believe it but the sincerity on his words disarmed me.

"Why?"

"I need to protect him" Merlin said fervently, casting a glance at his sleeping King… at _Arthur Pendragon_. There was something crawling in my veins each time I saw that man, a deep distrust that didn't lessen when I saw the protective look Emrys was giving him "He needs to live, no matter what. Being his servant I am there whenever he needs me…and I can protect him better."

How could I deny what I was seeing, the obvious fulfillment of that prophecy I had grown up hearing…two sides of a coin? But even if they were the Once and Future King and Emrys…they'd arrived too late now…

Too late for me anyway.

"If you really are Emrys…" I said in a soft whisper, trying to stop the tears that were filling my eyes at the slow revelation that was dawning upon me "If you really are Emrys then…why did you come so _late_? Everyone is dead now, everyone I ever loved…"

Merlin looked at me with those dazzling blue eyes and something in them made me realize he had understood the meaning of my words when his forehead frowned and thin lines of worry appeared on his face.

"I don't know why" he admitted "But I know that everything is going to be alright. Arthur will accept magic and he'll change this land. I know it. And I…."

He shrugged and smiled sadly "And we'll see what happens to me. He may banish me, even kill me. But I will never stray from his side. He is my King. I won't abandon him, even if he forsakes me."

"Are you really that willing?" I had said at that time, not even taking into account the prophecies of my people because I could not believe that a Pendragon could be capable of mercy,less that a Pendragon could return magic to the land. "Are you willing to give your life for him? What if he is not the foretold King? Because if you are Emrys…"

I could tell he would not agree with what I was about to say, but he nodded, as if to invite me to say it anyway.

"If you are Emrys…." I continued "You could rise up with us…you could make great things and overthrown the Pendragons…"

"No."

The word was cutting like a sharp knife. His eyes blazed, as if that suggestion was absolutely outrageous but the kindness on his voice when he answered me proved me, a skeptic at that time, that he was indeed, reflecting the gentleness of the earth…of the _Emrys_.

"I cannot even stray away from Arthur for a few days, God knows how he'll managed to get killed if I do." he said, as if it was the whole truth, which, looking at his eyes…it _was_ "He needs _me_. And I need _him_. I will not, _ever_, make anything to hurt him. And he is the Once and Future King. He'll make everything right. I know it"

My disbelieving heart felt stabbed by a sword because the little hope that had blossomed on my chest had been cruelly uprooted. My voice was laced with desperation when I spoke what was in my chest "You are putting the destiny of the whole magical community on one_ man_…."

"On a great man. To_ him_ I trust my life"

I regarded the words with a heavy heart for if it was true that he was Emrys, and the power I'd felt running through my veins was enough of a proof (although I didn't know it at that time) he was trusting everything to a murderous King which was going to betray him and doom us all…

"At least come to us _when_ he betrays you." I pleaded, forgetting for a moment my voluntary isolation and speaking of the druids as if we were a whole while casting a glance at the sleeping man who had been trained to kill my kind since birth. "don't let him kill you Emrys…you are _our_ last hope."

Merlin's face crunched in pain as I said those words, as if I'd put salt on the wound. He looked at me as he smiled sadly and said "I like to think he won't do that. I like to think that he…will accept me for who I am."

"You can't seriously believe…"

"No, I don't believe." he interrupted me with a quick glance towards King Arthur, who had stirred restlessly beneath two heavy blankets "I _know_. I know him. Arthur is courageous, honest, loyal, brave…he _is_ the Once and Future King."

He laughed as he threw another glance at the man, deep affection shinning in his eyes "Not that I'd ever tell him that…arrogant prat."

His smile was wide when he turned to look at me "I have faith in _him._" he said simply, as if in those words the whole mystery of the reasons destiny had... was explained.

And I, unable to do nothing but stare in deep apprehension at first…let him talk about his King.

He told me about his bravery and resilience and explained to me the prejudices he'd grown up with. He told me about Uther's failure as a father and from his lips I heard the unmatchable devotion he felt towards this man.

When he finished, as the last embers of the fire extinguished, I was in tears. Because I _knew_, as I know now, that indeed, a new age was coming to these lands brought, finally, by the Once and Future King. Who happened to be resting on my poor home.

Because I couldn't think less, I _still_ cannot think less, of a King who defended his people so, who offered his life for mere servants and who rode out to rescue handmaidens. Who took pity on the deaths of druid children and asked for forgiveness, who tried as he might to make everything right…

I had found a reason to live again, to hope again, in the words of Merlin about Arthur Pendragon.

At last, my young friend yawned sleepily and curled up in a corner, still trembling a little though his clothes were significantly drier. I looked at him, waited until he was under the heaviness of sleep and covered him with a poor little mantle I reserved for winter before I sank down into my bed and dreamed in peace for once since my family, my sons and daughters, were ripped away from me.

.

I woke up at dawn.

I blinked around and saw the morning sun entering through the window and something warm placed on my body. Surprised, I found the poor mantle I'd placed over Merlin was tucked around me and the man in question was now kneeling besides his King, which was drowsily calling his name.

"Get up you lazy daisy!" Merlin said cheerfully, waving a hand in front of King Arthur's face.

"What the hell happened?" I heard King Arthur ask.

"You were knocked out by a bandit" Merlin lied skillfully, offering him a charming smile "And I had to bring His Royal Pratness to the first hut I found or we'd drowned in that rain. Thankfully this courageous Lady…" he waved towards me and winked at me "was able to provide us assistance."

King Arthur poked his head around Merlin's body to cast a confused look at me before his brow scrunched and he pouted as he thought.

"But I don't remember…"

"You were knocked out."

King Arthur glanced into his servant's eyes and the complete, unwavering trust I saw in them broke me apart. I had to bit my lip to stop myself from gasping when he accepted what Merlin had said without another moment of thought. He got out of the cot agilely, completely healed. It was hard for me to believe he was the same man who was dying yesterday. He glanced around, took his sword from the place I had propped it against the wall and bowed quickly at me.

"Thank you." he said, walking up to me and placing a few golden coins on my hands "You'll be rewarded for your kindness."

I could only stare into those eyes and see what Emrys meant. The compassion, the bravery, it all was _there._ Open for the world to see.

And then, as Arthur Pendragon's sky blue eyes and mine met for the first time and sealed the promise that The Emrys had placed in my heart... Merlin coughed and sneezed.

King Arthur turned towards him with a roll of his eyes although for the smallest of moments I saw something similar to concern shine in the depths of those irises, and sighed heavily.

"Only you _Mer_lin" he drawled. "Would get sick after a few drops. Honestly, you are such a _girl._"

I glanced at him indignantly, opening my mouth to tell him off but a warning glance from Merlin stopped me. With a cheeky grin, the servant shrugged.

"Only you would get knocked out with a lump of wood, but stranger things have happened in the world." To my astonishment I saw King Arthur smile widely, clapping the servant in the back before ordering him to go get some water for the trip, and he and I stood alone in my hut, both glancing in other direction.

Finally, almost timidly, the fabled King glanced in my direction and said with the barest hint of emotion on his voice "How long has he been coughing?"

If there was ever a moment in which Merlin's words finally convinced me was when I saw the pure concern in those blue eyes. I had to force my tears down, tears of joy and relief for I could see in that display of affection the complement to Merlin's devotion. Now that I recall this with the little light that it's still in my candle, I can almost see what I saw that moment. The bond.

Oh, yes, that _bond_. I had glimpses of it throughout my life, from the first time I saw them in the middle of that storm, to the few encounters we had, all appointed by destiny I presume, and all which left me with a deep peace in my soul, destroyed by Uther's rage. In each one I caught more glimpses of their friendship, deep and wide and the ocean, tall and strong as the mountains, passionate and enduring as the flames that illuminate this light parchment.

And yes, after I'd answer with a timid " I don't know sire" the steel mask of indifference crept over King Arthur's face once more. He bowed lightly at me and said quietly an understatement I'd learn to fear later on.

"_Mer_lin is such a _self-sacrificing_ idiot"

Merlin returned with two flasks full of water, placed one on King Arthur's hands and winked at me as Arthur placed a kiss on my wrinkled hand before he went out, starting to walk through the singing grass.

And then Merlin came to me and said.

"Magic will be free once more. I promise you that."

I didn't know at that time I'd see the fulfillment of his words but I can't deny that, at that time, it set my heart ablaze with hope. He smiled at me, The Emrys, and answered to the loud call of _MERLIN_ with a quick "Coming!" before walking out that small door.

And I watched them go, side by side, bantering and teasing each other as the brothers I thought them to be.

And for once, that newly ignited fire of hope stayed there, flickering until the time I saw them again.

-Fin-

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**For now. **

**So how was it? Should I continue this idea? Is there something you'd like to see? Someone's perspective on a situation?  
**

**Lots of Love  
**

**Ocean Mint Leaves :D  
**


	2. Lights Will Guide You Home

Wow, first of all let me say I am blown away by the response to this. I feel really blessed and grateful for all of you wonderful people and I'm sorry if I've been a little too busy with school...but two weeks more and it's over ^^ I was actually going to wait until I finished with school to keep writing but all of your demands for more got this out from me :D I hope you enjoy it.

Well...* shuffles feet* I am not proud of this one. I feel like I rushed through it just because you've all been SO AMAZING and the encouragement was really outstanding :) So forgive me if it's a little muddy or whatever, I'll do better when I'm out of a stress zone ^^

This was a rather quick "drabble" that popped into my head after I read the quote just below :p. The rest of the updates, when I actually have time, will be definitely longer and have a lot more depth.

And the last scene, which I just dabbled in the whole thing so it might appear a little...rash, was inspired by Sherlock's last episode of Season 2 ( which is heart wrenching when you watch in with a bowl of Ice Cream and the book by your side) I swear that if Sherlock _does_ stay hidden 3 years I'll scream until I break some glass.

...Well, it was a drabble...then it extended by itself ;)

**Sarajm:** There will definitely be a Leon centered one-shot on the future ;)

**Cruelest Sea:** Thank you so much! I love your pen name by the way :D

**Leonarema:** Yes, she'll appear again, probably very soon ^^ But I have to think of a name for her...* ponders* any ideas?

**Midnightlupus: **Thank you so much! Wow, you guys make me blush :D

Thank you to all of you! I appreciate all your support but sadly I don't have the time to answer each one of you right now. Just know that you are in my heart and I thought of you while writing this :D

Just so you know: _In ancient Roman religion Rumina was a goddess who protected breastfeeding mothers, and possibly nursing infants_.

* * *

**Lights Will Guide You Home  
**

* * *

From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to heaven. And when two souls that are destined to be entwined find each other, their streams of light flow together and a single, brighter light goes forth from their united single being.

-Indian Proverb

* * *

"Here you go, take the child"

Those words were immediately preceded by a screaming little bundle of golden locks and blue eyes in my arms, and as I looked at the new prince of Camelot I heard a piercing cry fill the air. It was Uther, I was sure. I was startled beyond belief but I didn't let it show, instead, I just rocked the baby back and forth in my arms while I watched maids rush in and out of Queen Ygraine's chambers. Never stopping. Never speaking.

Arthur was beautiful from the start. His light eyes were full of innocence when he looked up at me, the first face he ever saw in the world. Even then he had a few golden hairs on his delicate head. His mother should be ready to meet him any minute now. I couldn't wait till Ygraine saw how beautiful her son was.

So I rocked the prince in my arms while the day passed and the sun came down.

My childhood friend, Ygraine Du Bois, never came out from her chambers.

She never met her child.

* * *

Someway, probably from Ygraine, Uther learned that my own child had been a stillborn only week ago. He replaced that whole in my heart with another name. Arthur.

I became Arthur's nurse, her companion during her childhood years. Up until he was six it was me who spent the most time with him. He was a lovely child, maybe a little bit stubborn, maybe a little bit hot-headed, but I could see through that. His eyes spoke of compassion and valor, qualities that I was sure he had taken from his mother. The same as his light blue eyes and wheat colored hair.

Arthur took a lot of energy from the start since he was such a lively little boy. I had to run around waving little wooden swords with him, laughing of course, and blushing at the looks most of the maids gave me. But Arthur and his beaming face were worth it when with a quiet "Got you!" I tickled him in his tummy, ears and nose. He used to laugh and laugh until his face was red and his breaths were heavy from laughter.

My little Arthur, that little prince won my heart from the start. Maybe it is because I saw Ygraine in him and I missed my childhood friend dearly or maybe it is because he shone with the qualities of a true knight, I don't know.

But what I do know is that Arthur was a special little boy. Gaius used to tell me that he visited the injured knights quite often in the infirmary and all those rude men, weary and thick from years of fighting would become as docile as silk with their little golden prince around.

There were times when I caught Arthur looking at the sky with a faraway look in his eyes, almost as if he was waiting for something to happen. I made sure to snap him out of it whenever I saw it because I wanted Arthur to be a little boy for a while more, without his father's rules weighing him down.

Uther had a strange kind of relationship with his son. He was gentle and sweet with little Arthur whenever his walls went down and his pain for Ygraine's death subdued somehow. But as soon as Arthur's position in the court became part of his life Uther demanded too much of him. Far too much for such a little courageous boy.

I was awake at night with him, watching the stars through his large windows, sitting on the windowsill while he had both hands pressed to the cold crystal, eyes darting through the sky.

Then, it happened.

I really don't know what to say now that I know what it was. If I could turn back time and re-watch that moment again I know I would shiver from what it represented.

As it is, I only thought my little Prince was sleepy.

Because looking straight into the mountains ahead, the blue eyes of the prince widened and a strange, soft smile filled his small features. He pressed his hands to the tinted glass, standing in his shaky leg as I supported him with a firm hand across his back.

He looked at me with those eyes sparkling.

"Did you see _that_ Rumina?"

"See what?"

"The pretty light!" he closed his eyes for a moment and then pointed at his small chest with a finger "Is 'ere now"

I thought he must've imagined it, maybe a reflection of the stars or the small flickering lights of the candles. But he insisted with childhood indignation that a pretty light had shot through the mountains and the skies and filled him.

"It's like a fire" I recall him saying "I feel so warm! Is that m'gic Rumina?"

I froze.

I literally didn't know what to say. My God, I knew what magic was and I knew it was not evil but Uther was dead set in making his son paranoid like him and I couldn't just go against him. So I played it safe.

"What does Gaius tell you?"

"He says magic can feel like a fire" Arthur replied with his little voice, eyes still darting across the mountains with innocent excitement "But I've never felt magic. Was _that_ magic, Rumina?" suddenly his little finger was pointing towards the night stars again "Ohhh!" he cooed "there it is again! Did you see it, Did you see it?"

I frowned as I leaned forwards and looked out. And saw nothing.

"What?"

"It happened again! A thunder went to the sky!"

I laughed at his misconception, picking him up with ease as he twisted in my arms to take another look at the mountains, a frown placed in his little place.

"It was there Rumina; I swear it was there! Look, give me your pinky…!"

"Time for bed, sleepy boy"

I placed him under his covers in time to watch him yawn as he murmured "n't sleepy…"

I ruffled his golden hair with one hand, alleviated that he had already forgotten about the magic issue

"Of course you are not" I said with a smile as I walked out the door "Good night, Prince Arthur"

I could still hear him muttering something about people not believing him, but at that time I just shook my head fondly. It would be years later, after Arthur Pendragon had grown into a stranger to me, when I'd learn that in that same day and at that same hour a boy from Ealdor, named Merlin, was born.

* * *

As you already know, I was taken from the Prince the moment he turned 6 years old. He was beginning to learn under Geoffrey's attentive eye and I was really not necessary anymore. Arthur had maids now, to help him out.

I spent my time traveling from town to town but always missing my Prince, never forgetting him. I'd finger a little bracelet Arthur made me with his very first hunt, a small bird that happened to be in the way of his crossbow while he took his first lessons. The feathers were almost like a warm reminder of Ygraine and her golden haired son wherever I went.

Many years passed until I saw myself in necessity of going towards Camelot again. I thought, with an excitement that made my heart swell, how grown up Arthur would be, a boy of almost seventeen….

I passed through the gates of Camelot, so familiar yet so foreboding and smiled at everything I saw. The stone walls and the banner of Camelot…everything that made this my home… and _Ygraine's_ home.

That's when I saw him. Arthur, coming through the gates his chain mail dirty and…twas that _blood_ on his armor?*

"Go report to my father" he said, voice cracking, to the rest of the knights around him "I'll…I'll go clean up first"

Arthur was now a young man but it looked like if he hadn't aged a day. His golden hair shone in the sunlight, his face was shaped as Ygraine's…I felt my heart beat faster at the realization that my young boy was now a man.

Then, I saw the tears flooding his face while he covered his eyes with one hand, obviously trying to act as if they weren't there.

And my heart swelled again, but this time of worry. I could barely watch the little boy under my care get hurt and now this young man, so obviously upset…it tore my heartstrings.

So I approached to him swiftly, letting down the hood of my dress as I went, and looking straight into the eyes of that child I loved so much.

"Are you alright Arthur?"

He looked at me and quickly dried his tears with the back of his hand "How do you know my name?" he asked, a little harshly.

I tried not to let that hurt me; of course Arthur wouldn't remember his wet nurse from his childhood years. He was a grown up boy now, readying himself to be King.

"I am…" I said, but was rudely interrupted by a guard taking my wrist and shoving me aside while he yelled dramatically.

"This woman has been using magic!"

I stared at him in indignation. I had avoided magic as much as possible but yes, if I brushed with it from time to time but I didn't push it away like a deadly disease. After all, magic was not evil. Both Ygraine and I knew that.

He pointed at a barely hidden mark on my arm and I shivered with dread when I understood. He was pointing at the druid symbol that hung from Arthur's bracelet. A symbol that according to a few druids I had toppled with on a village signified the union of "two sides of a coin".

"No!" I shrieked but the look on Arthur's eyes was what killed me. They went hard and cold as stone as his horse whinnied with impatience.

"You've been consorting with magic" he said with the barest hint of emotion "You have no place on Camelot anymore. Go away and _stay away_"

I looked into his eyes and I swear that for the smallest moments he _recognized_ me. But before I could say anything he had turned away, guiding his horse towards the stables as if he wanted nothing but to reach a safe place to cry.

As they pushed my outside Camelot's gates with a shout of _"the prince has been merciful, filth!"_ I remembered, heart breaking, how I used to be _that place._

* * *

I met Merlin after my hair had already turned gray.

I was staying near a druid camp, debating on my existence, when I saw the white stallion enter the clearing. Children danced around the horse as a man I'd never seen before jumped out taking a child in his arms and spurning him around as the boy laughed delightedly. The man responded to the cries of "Magic!Magic!" with different bubbles that floated near the happy children and then went through the thick vegetation to be bowed at by some of the elder druids.

Needless to say, it caught my attention. I timidly got nearer, looking at the young man curiously. He had a mop of black hair that contrasted with his pale skin and sparkling blue eyes.

"The Saxons are getting nearer" he was saying at that moment " The prat didn't know if he could ask for the assistance of magic or..."

"We will help him at the best of your ability" one of the elders said softly "Rest assured that the magical community will not abandon their King in his time of need"

"What about the Catha?"

"We received word from Alator a few days ago" another druid said "He says he'll be happy to help you, Merlin"

"Thank you" Merlin said, offering them a brilliant smile though his face was pale and his cheeks were devoid from color "I am happy you've all learned to use my name"

"It's a costume Emr-_Merlin_. I understand that you don't want any attention on you now"

"_No..._not now" Merlin said softly.

That's when, for some reason, he caught my eye. He froze instantly when his pupils reached my wrist and I had to look down to remember the reason _why_. Oh right. The bracelet.

He seemed strangely drawn to it for some reason. His eyes never left it, as if he could sense something in it.

"That's Rumina" I heard one of the elders whisper to Merlin "You can see that she used to be nobility. Poor woman, one of Ygraine Pendragon's childhood maids. I think Uther employed her in the castle for a while before_ it_ happened..." I flinched my eyes at the accurate description of my life but said nothing.

Merlin nodded and put up a hand, taking careful steps towards me as if to not startle me.

"Rumina?" he said gently, standing right in front of me. He was tall for a druid, definitely taller than all those around us "Can I ask you something?"

I opened my mouth and smiled "You can ask anything you want sire. After all, I am only unemployed, not ill"

_And heart bounded to Camelot by a man I considered my son._

Merlin smiled "Well then. Can I see that?"

He gently took my wrist with his lean hands, gazing at the bracelet as I nodded and he took it out of my hands and into his.

He drew in a sharp intake of breath, as if a shock had gone through him. He closed his eyes as his fist closed around the feathers, pursing his lips as a tear went down his cheek.

"I..._thank you_" he said softly, opening those brilliant eyes and looking at me "Thank you...This...Arthur Pendragon _touched_ this, didn't he?"

My jaw dropped open, not knowing how on _earth_ he knew. But I felt tears prickled my eyes at the mention of that name "Yes..." I answered with a whisper "he made it for me...with his first hunt"

His eyes lightened up as if the name itself brought solace and he said softly " I suppose...you knew him as I child"

"Yes"

"I bet he was a handful, even at that age"

The light tone in his voice didn't mask away all the...was that _longing_? Almost melancholy, probably.

"He was" I answered "But he was the sweetest, most gentle boy..."

"Are you sure we've got the same Arthur?" He said, eyebrows raising comically.

"He was also very noble" I added, lost in my thoughts " and brave. Sometimes a little stubborn and hot-headed...couldn't say thank you to save his life..."

Something in his eyes shone when I mentioned that.

"Yes" Merlin said with a strange choked sob, looking at the distance too " Now I am sure we've got the same Arthur"

.

.

We spent the night sitting across each other, with a warm fire blazing in front of us. Merlin asked me to talk about Arthur and that I did. I talked about the little boy that stole the place of my own child, talked about his dimples and the way he laughed...

"Oh, Arthur's always been a load of work, hasn't he?" he said, his eyes sparkling "He attracts trouble like honey attracts bees..."

"He was a stubborn little man but very noble nonetheless" I said, smiling at his beaming face. The first time I'd seen him he was pale and worn and now, with the mention of that prince that held a spot in my heart, he looked a bit better.

"I remember this time when he stole his father's sword and sat on the throne...Gaius and I had to get him out of there before the Court nobles came back..."

Merlin just looked at me with those eyes, sometimes laughed at my tales of Arthur being a stubborn little boy and smiled softly when I related Arthur's adventures. But when I reached the tale of the inverted lighting ( one I considered fairly comical) he...he turned away.

I stopped my tale immediately when his eyes lowered and he pressed his hands together.

"Are you alright?" I asked, deep concern in my voice. I had grown fond to this young man.

He raised his head and I saw two tear marks going down his cheeks "It's been 3 months..." he told me in a whisper "I _had_ to do it, I know I had to...but it doesn't change what I've done, what I've done to both of us..."

He shivered and closed his eyes, looking away.

That's all I got from him that night...

But as the dawn broke...I got my answer.

.

.

The sound of hooves woke my hazed mind as I blinked around, seeing that the night was ending and a light was shining in the horizon. The hooves got faster until they stopped.

I saw Merlin sleeping a few feet away from me, covered with the dark cloak he wore. His fingers were twitching outside the warm material of his improvised blanket however, and as I looked at him two blue eyes snapped open and met mine.

He said nothing though, just looked towards the trees and whispered a name that chilled me to the bones.

"Arthur..."

It was not a question or a plea, it was a statement. And as I rose to my elbows to try and understand what was going on Merlin got to his feet and began walking, almost drunkenly, between the druid tents. That's when I saw him, Arthur, jumping off a horse with outstanding quickness as he shouted with all the force of his lungs "MERLIN!"

Apparently that was all Merlin needed to break into a desperate run, just as I saw Arthur do the same, his sword forgotten between the bright grass.

"You idiot!" Arthur exclaimed as soon as they reached each other, grabbing Merlin by the shoulders, shaking him for all that was worth "You are so stupid Merlin!" he got the thinner man into a tight hug, his fists closing around Merlin's brown jacket. When the light of the sun touched his face I felt my breath leave me at the similarity with Ygraine "why would hell would you do that!..." He grabbed Merlin's shoulders again to look into his eyes before locking his arms around him once more "you are such a complete idiot!" his voice broke.

Arthur.

He was_ crying._

_...  
_

_" You see Rumina..."_ He'd told me once _"Father says no man is worth my tears."  
_

_...  
_

And that's when I heard Merlin's quiet words, his head forcibly buried on Arthur's shoulder as he repeated "I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

For a response Arthur only tightened his hold around him, blinking away the tears as he whispered "You better be...You'll be mucking my stables until you grow that ridiculous beard...!"

Merlin stifled a teary laugh and said quietly "Only you can act like such a prat after..."

"three months" Arthur completed, voice cracking again. He squeezed his eyes shut as two tears slid down his cheeks and into his golden beard "three bloody months you let me think you were dead you complete _idiot_"

Merlin pulled back and I saw the pure sorrow in his eyes, something I had caught a glimpse of the night before.

"They would've killed you..." his voice sounded desperately apologetic "I had to do something...!"

"Not disappearing for nearly _half a year_!" Arthur screamed, his hands tightening around the other man's wrists while soft tears slid down Merlin's cheeks "I almost went mad looking for you all over the five kingdoms...!"

"I had no choice..." Merlin muttered, liberating a hand from Arthur's grasp and placing the back of his palm upon his mouth to muffle a loud sob "It was me they were after..."

"I thought we agreed you'd let me deal with the Saxons" Arthur whispered, shaking his head fondly as he reeled Merlin back into an embrace " I never meant you could do _that_ you stupid, _selfless idiot._..!"

I understood then. The Saxons had been invading small villages all over the north and they had their own army of Necromancers and Sorcerers at their disposal, something that not even Camelot could stand up against. I knew they wielded dark magic, darkest than that of Cornelius Sigan. I'd seen some horrible things done by this new race invading our lands, one of them the murdering of a whole village.

Merlin looked as if he had been thinking the same and by the glint of desperation in his eyes I understood why he thought there was no choice to be made. Placing a hand upon his eyes, he shook his head "I know. But Arthur they...they killed their own kind!...they..._Gods_!"

"It doesn't matter Merlin" Arthur stated firmly "They are practically gone now."

I saw Merlin's eyes flicker upwards, full of emotion as he said gently "I almost came back you know...Only you would be stupid enough to fight a battle without me by your side"*

"Hey, I had to drive them away somehow, didn't I?"

"You could've gotten hurt..."

"I didn't"

"But I..."

Arthur held up a hand, a gesture that reminded me of his years playing to be a knight while he jumped on that red velvet covers.

"Shut up" he said, cuffing Merlin gently around the ear "Shut the _hell_ up. You are going tell me what exactly you've been doing these three months before being smart enough to send me your little ball of light"

I saw a flicker of the blue light in Merlin's palm I had caught glimpses of earlier as he looked guiltily at Arthur "I had to be near enough to be able to project my magic. Still...you came in less time than I expected..."

Arthur's gaze softened, as I had seen only when he talked with injured knights or his father was in a good mood.

But mostly when he looked up at me after I'd read him a legend from his multicolored parchments.

"Of course I did, Merlin" he answered, placing both hands on Merlin's shoulders while his eyes glistened, as they always did when they contained strong emotion "I promised myself that as soon as you gave any sign of life...I _would_ find you"

"You never swallowed the lie, isn't that right my friend?" Merlin said gently.

Arthur flinched, as if the subject was a touchy matter ( and I _knew_ how he flinched whenever something bothered him) but still held Merlin's gaze and let out a strained laugh "_That?_ Ha! You dissipated in a bunch of smoke Merlin, and I know how much you like dramatics because you are such a..."

"I know" Merlin said softly before he could finish, gazing down at the grass " I am an idiot and stupid...and I'm so _sorry._.."

"I didn't want to believe it" Arthur muttered suddenly, shaking his head as he looked far away into the mountains, voice breaking between his strained words "and besides...I knew you weren't gone. As stupid as it sounds...I-I could feel you. Right here, like a warm light in my chest"

He pointed at his chest brusquely as he squared his shoulders, as if daring Merlin to laugh at him. But the man just shook his head and he bit his lip and I saw, surprised, that there were tears running down those cheeks as he placed his hands on his eyes.

And I stared, starting to link those words with that prophetic phrases he'd said as a child, barely able to walk.

"What's wrong now Merlin?" Arthur asked, honestly confused. I saw him trying to understand what was going on with Merlin but by the frown in his face he was at loss.

Merlin shook his head as he glanced up to the eyes of the little prince now grown into a man, the little prince that had seen that bright blue light shot out of the sky when their souls had been entwined.

"Nothing" he answered softly.

Merlin smiled up at him and they gazed at each other for a moment before Arthur broke it with a quiet demand " You _will_ tell me what you did during your extended holiday Merlin..."

Merlin shrugged uncomfortably and sighed as he sat down in the grass. But there was not a trace of the parlor I had seen in his skin before, as if seeing Arthur had somehow improved his health. He looked up at Arthur "You might want to sit down. This will take some time"

They sat down in front of the fire, one dark head besides a blond one, exchanging confidential whispers that somehow I managed to overhear. Merlin explained how he'd gone to the Catha and asked for their help to rid Albion of the Saxons, then his quest to the Perilous lands to retrieve something else from a castle belonging to a Fisher King. I saw Arthur's jaw clench in a couple of places into Merlin's narration, especially whenever he perceived Merlin doing something he considered reckless but the young man only rolled his eyes at Arthur and replied with a cheeky answer. He related how a red dragon had counseled him and the entire armies he had destroyed in the process of coming to a druid camp near Camelot.

Arthur listened, one arm across his knees and a hand on his cheek in silent contemplation. I never once saw him this quiet, only when he was being scolded by Uther.

"What about Mordred?" Arthur asked in a whisper, something that I almost didn't hear.

Merlin didn't answer and I watched with my eyes wide open how his eyes went from gentle warmth to cold acceptance.

"He chose his side" Merlin answered "and I chose mine."

.

.

I had fallen asleep again and my eyes shot open when I heard one of the elders quietly stepping out of his tent and was watch the scene with a glint on his eye.

"I told you your Court Sorcerer would return safe and sound, Arthur Pendragon" he said gently.

Arthur turned towards him, not even noticed his old nanny on the floor. It looked like if he only had eyes for the druid and Merlin.

"Yeah" he breathed, tightening one hand around Merlin's arm "Thank you, Iseldir."

The druid name Iseldir bowed his head as I tried to wrap my hear around the words I had just heard. Court Sorcerer? As in..._magic?_

I let out a gasp that didn't go unnoticed to Merlin, because he turned around and his eyes found mine. He leaned over, whispered something to Arthur and my boy, my little boy turned towards me with a smile on his face.

"Come here, madam"

I did, trembling all the while. Arthur's gaze was sympathetic as he watched my poor attempts to disguise my nervousness.

"Come now, I'm not going to hurt you" he said softly "I'm King Arthur"

I fell to my knees when I reached him, taking his hands between mine as I kissed those fingers I had missed so much.

"Arthur, Arthur…" I sobbed "Don't you recognize me? Your poor governess from your childhood?"

His eyes went wide when he caught sight of my bracelet and he breathed out, more than said, my name.

"But that's….._Rumina_?"

I nodded, still sobbing, but now with glee.

He got me to my feet and hugged me carefully while I cried.

...

_"Hugging is disgusting!"_ he'd said one day after Lady Morgana had come to visit _"I'll never hug anyone again..."_

...

"I thought...I thought you said hugging was disgusting" I managed between my tears and kisses all over that blond hair.

Arthur laughed as he took my hands in his "Merlin's taught me a lot" he said, smiling "Isn't that right _Mer_lin?"

"As I recall you hugged me first" Merlin replied.

"Oh, shut it"

I laughed, still not letting go of Arthur, and gave thanks to the Gods. For a moment there, I believed that Arthur was gone forever...His hatred for magic would've consumed him...as it did Uther.

But I later learned that thanks to that man by his side, Arthur turned out to be the best King that Albion ever had.

Eventually, Arthur remembered his bracelet. He held it in his hands with delight as he told Merlin how he'd asked Gaius and a maid to do it so he could give it to the most important person at that time...

I felt my eyes fill with tears at that point, but I dried them quickly when I saw Merlin finger the druid symbol and ask softly. "Where did you get this?"

I smiled as I repeated the phrase I'd heard such a long time ago "druids…it's supposed to represent two sides of the same coin."

I was surprised to see the Merlin froze and immediately locked eyes with Arthur, who looked at him with the same strange sparkle in his eyes.

"Well" Arthur said "they do love to use that phrase, don't they _Mer_lin"

Merlin just smiled at him and answered " I guess they could just say the Idiot and the Prat"

"It would be easier, wouldn't it?"

Merlin let out a breathy laugh. "Lots."

I smiled at the pair, feeling at ease with them. For the first time since my first return to Camelot I saw in Arthur the man I perceived when I nursed him.

They said goodbye and Arthur promised to send knight to help me collect my things and come back to Camelot. He said he'd loved to have the first person who ever treated him as a human instead of a prince near him.

My heart swelled with joy as I waved them goodbye. But I still heard snippets of their words as their horses trotted away.

"Merlin? Never disappear again or I'll kill you myself"

"You can hang on to that...I will try not to."

"_Merlin_..."

"That's all I can give you Arthur. If it comes to a choice between your life and mine you already know what the answer is."

"I know my friend..." a pause in which I saw Arthur shake his blond head, a star in the deep velvet of the morning "...let's just..."

"Go home?"

"Yes idiot. Let's go home"

-Fin-

* * *

*** If you got the reference to the raid of the druid's camp ( Ep 4x11) Kudos for you :D**

*** Making reference to the battle of Mount Badon.**

*** Paces anxiously* I don't really know what to say other than: I AM SUPPOSED TO BE STUDYING FOR FINALS!**

**This was for you guys! _* blows kisses as she runs for her life*_**


	3. Rejection

Thanks to everyone who reviewed, reviews right now or will review in the future! You all rock my socks! :D

I've always wanted to write this! Let's see how I do :) Since 4x06 I felt we needed George's part of the tale.

SPOILERS from season 4 episode 6, a Servant with Two Masters through this whole chapter! :D

* * *

**Rejection.**

* * *

I'd always wanted to be an exemplary servant, even since my father and mother were commemorated by their respective masters by their skill and tactic. That's why, when Lady Guinevere strode purposely towards me one fine morning and told me I was to be King Arthur's manservant, I nodded politely and said, "It will be a high honor, My Lady."

And I could barely contain my enthusiasm. There was no highest honor in the extension of the five kingdoms than to serve King Arthur. All my life I'd striven for exceptionality in my service and now it looked like if my effort and sweat was bearing its fruits.

"I've known you for years, George." said Lady Guinevere. "That's why I know you'll do a fine job and that I can trust you with this. I'm afraid Arthur won't be happy to see a new manservant. He won't be happy at _all."_

"Is that so, My Lady?" I asked while I watched her frown. "Why?"

Lady Guinevere's face darkened a bit. "Is Merlin. You do know who he is, don't you George?"

And with those words my mind was jumbled up with images of a lanky lad with a mop of dark hair and bright eyes that had asked me, once or twice, how my day was going as we crossed paths. I knew he was the prince's and later King's manservant and more than once I'd been tempted to ask him how he did it but I'd never really had the opportunity. Besides, from the few glimpses I'd caught as I went through the castle doing my duties and some other rumors, I knew that this lad was more than a world of trouble. He was known for answering back and making witty remarks, even calling the King _names_. Just thinking about it had me shuddering inwardly and since from what I'd seen of Merlin he was a good man, I blamed it all on the poor lad's lack of experience with nobility.

It wasn't surprising, then, that King Arthur had sacked him. He needed a competent manservant now that he was King.

"He's been sacked, then?" I asked.

Lady Guinevere looked at me with something less than horror in her eyes and then amusement, as if I had said a joke.

"Sacked him?" she repeated in disbelief. "Oh, George. Sometimes I do wonder if you live for something more than your job. Arthur would not sack Merlin for half his kingdom, not that he'd ever admit it. Merlin is his _friend_."

I stared at her.

"Yes, George. Friends." repeated Lady Guinevere firmly. "It is not that unusual. And I cannot believe you haven't noticed!"

"How can that be?" I wondered out loud. "He's so disrespectful…"

Lady Guinevere regarded me with a sad smile. "You shouldn't think that. They would die for each other... I've seen it with my own eyes."

"Then what…?"

"Happened? They were ambushed yesterday. And from what Sir Leon told me…Merlin got hit."

Her eyes closed and her mouth formed a line. From my little experience with women I knew this was not good. I nervously shifted as I interlaced both hands behind my back.

"He got hit…" Lady Guinevere said tearfully. "And they've already looked everywhere but there's no sign of him. I hope he's alright, wherever he is, but… Arthur's not taking it well."

I waited for her to continue. I knew well that silence is always the key to information.

And that she did, after another moment of silence. "He's desperate. And I must ask of you George, to don't bring the subject of Merlin in any way. He needs a diligent servant that can help him cope and I think you are discreet enough for the job."

The tears in her eyes told me that she was also worried about the boy and I wondered what it was about him that placed him in a rank above than other, more capable, servants.

But I stood straighter as I said. "Rest assured, Guinevere, that I'll do my best to serve King Arthur as he deserves."

Lady Guinevere smiled. "I know you will. But it is not what he deserves George, it's what he needs. And I am afraid to say that he needs Merlin."

.

I was up at six the next morning, ready for my first day as the King's manservant. I could barely contain my excitement as I made my way to the kitchens. Mary was already up, starting to gather apples in front of her but stopped short when she saw me.

"None of that." I said with a dismissive hand. "I want everything the King likes to eat today. I'll have some venison and roasted chicken…oh, is that fresh bread?" I walked towards the soft scent and glanced down at the golden loafs. "I'll have two of these too."

Mary shifted behind me before coming into my plain of sight, her hands on her hips. "Are you sure, dear? Merlin told me that the King's been putting a bit of weight…"

"The King needs some cheering up," I cut her, turning the loaf of bread in my hands. "And I believe this is the best way to do it."

She nodded her head sadly. "Those horrible bandits…I really cannot phantom that poor boy in the hands of those monsters. And Arthur…." She shook her head. "Poor thing, I've seen how much they rely on each other. It certainly won't be easy…" she stopped and narrowed her eyes at me. "On second thought... "She said as she snatched some pork from another plate. "Take all you want, dear. He will need some sausages too."

That's how I got out of the kitchen with my arms full of different meats and bread, jugs of wine and loads of bacon. Mary had added some fruits too, for the King to vary his diet, though I suspected she was still trying to keep whatever Merlin had said about the King not being fit in mind.

King Arthur woke up after I had finished polishing the table and setting all the food in it, arranging it as if it was truly a banquet. He looked at me for a moment and I could see he did not understand what was happening.

I wished I would not be forced to go back on my promise to Guinevere.

King Arthur narrowed his eyes at me. "Who are you?"

I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding but feigned indifference. A good servant is invisible. An _exceptional_ servant is immutable. "I am your new manservant, sire." I said, and my chest seemed to puff a little. Truly, those words were like polishing brass on a summer morning.

He looked around and I tried to keep my face serene as I diverted the conversation from the topic of his newly lost servant. "I have polished your armor, sharpened your sword, selected your clothes; there is a slight chill in the air today, sir…and now, if you will allow me…" the most important part of the day for a King, and my job: to make sure he was well nourished. "I would like to serve you…_breakfast._"

He glanced at the table (quite impressive if I myself say so,) and then at me.

"What's your name?"

"George, sire." I answered as I unrolled a napkin. "At your service."

I tucked the napkin under his chin and prepared him so that he could eat when I heard words that were like music to my ears. "Listen George, this is all very impressive…very impressive indeed…"

It meant I was doing my job right. If the King himself was impressed…I smiled to myself as I gathered the cup and plate in my hands.

"But…" King Arthur continued, and I could feel the smile on my face slipping. "I already have a manservant."

The stench of failure invaded me. I could not stop the King from returning to the issue of his lost manservant, no matter how hard I tried. But I forced my face to remain calm – impassible- as I placed the cup in his hand.

"He's very shabby looking…" King Arthur continued, apparently not even caring about the delicious food I had gathered for him. "Has appalling manners, he's extremely forgetful, he seems to spend most of his time in the tavern…"I placed a plate on his hands, wanting him to start seeing the roasted venison he was about to eat but with no luck. He didn't even glance at the food.

I knew my battle was lost when his face clouded as I offered him a fork.

"But he is…_my_ manservant." He said, and I couldn't retain a small gasp of surprise as he pushed the plate and cup into my hands. "And I quite like it that way."

The next thing I noticed was that I had received a sheet in the middle of my face. And they weren't even washed properly!

.

I decided to ignore King Arthur's words for the rest of the day and spent my time tiding around his room. There were quite a lot of goblets in the most hidden corners of his chambers and some marks in the walls which I suspected were the receivers of the goblets and other small artifacts.

My morning went on quietly as I scrubbed every little inch of the wooden table until a sudden bang made me look up. It was King Arthur, followed by Lord Agravaine. I could see the King was not happy at all about something, and the Lord even less so. King Arthur reached for the wall as he placed his forehead on it, while closing his eyes tightly.

I stayed on my spot, not even moving a muscle. It was in times like these were my occupation required me to be invisible. And so, I was.

"Arthur, you must be reasonable…" Lord Agravaine said "The boy is a lost cause! He is a servant, nothing more. No bandits would ever hold him for a ransom, he's most likely _dead_!"

I was startled when King Arthur punched the wall with his fist, cutting Lord Agravaine's words as he turned towards him.

"Don't say that, Uncle." King Arthur said tensely. "I know Merlin. He's strong. He's…"

"A servant." Lord Agravaine finished for him, and I could see one corner of his mouth twitch downwards in disgust. I'd never seen him under a positive light but now I liked him even less. "And as one easily replaceable…"

"You and I don't share the same views about Merlin, Uncle." The King said. "You look him as a servant, expendable. But not to _me_."

I saw Lord Agravaine's mouth set into a thin line as he crossed his arms across his chest. "Even so, _sire_, your servant was gravely injured. There is even less chance that he'll survive. And the bandits are yet to leave the forest. "

King Arthur turned away from him and placed his head between his hands. I watched from my spot against the table how King Arthur's eyes became…haunted.

Lord Agravaine took a step forward and in my experience as a servant to nobles, I knew he was feeling confident that King Arthur would take his advice. I was right, of course. He placed a gloved hand in King Arthur's shoulder.

"Surely you can see now…why you mustn't go after him?"

King Arthur looked upwards, towards his Uncle, and I saw only sheer determination in his face.

"No." he said coldly. "You've just made up my mind. I'll be leaving this instant. And I'll bring Merlin home."

I don't think I'll ever forget Lord Agravaine's face in that moment while I live. He turned towards King Arthur with such fury that I felt compelled to jump in my King's defense for a moment but thankfully I decided to remain shrouded by my invisibility.

"Your father would not approve of this!" Lord Agravaine exclaimed.

King Arthur turned towards him, twisting his arm out of Lord Agravaine's grasp as he pointed a finger to his uncle's face.

"Hold your tongue, Uncle." he hissed. "I am not my father, as you still fail to realize. As a sovereign I am a servant to my people and I owe it to them my every act as King. And…" he closed his eyes for a moment. "God help me, but I owe Merlin even more. He's my manservant and he needs me. It is my duty as his King to go in his aid." I was staring at him with my mouth hanging open, and so was Agravaine. "Don't you _dare_ stop me, Uncle. I will find him, and he'll _be_ alright."

With a flutter of his red cloak King Arthur left his Uncle speechless on his chambers while I played my conversation with Lady Guinevere over and over in my mind.

Truly, I couldn't help wonder… what made Merlin such an essential part of King Arthur's life?

.

As the day went by I finished polishing King Arthur's other armor, all the goblets scattered around the room and the various decorative swords that were held in his walls. I knew from the sound of hooves against the courtyard and Lord Agravaine's gloomy posture that King Arthur was searching for the lad. After witnessing the stormy conversation with Lord Agravaine, though, I wasn't expecting any less.

I still felt uneasiness creep in whenever I thought of the way I wasn't able to keep King Arthur's mind out of his manservant. Mary had to take all the food down as she glared at me disapprovingly because King Arthur hadn't even touched it.

Naturally, I tried to avoid Lady Guinevere during the day but my duties forced me to be present at a rather…uncomfortable time, to be honest.

I was carrying King Arthur's hunting gear towards the armory when, as I doubled a corner, I heard Lady Guinevere's voice. Then, she came into view, looking as if she was all but crying with Sir Leon pacing around the corridor.

"He went after Merlin?" Sir Leon asked, worry palpable in his voice. "Gwen, we searched the entire forest two times and found nothing but a bloodied piece of his jacket! And the bandits are still in there!"

"I know!" Lady Guinevere said, burying her face in her hands. "I could do nothing to stop him, Leon. He's just too stubborn."

"We cannot lose our King over Merlin, no matter how good of a friend he is." Sir Leon said softly, shaking his head and wringing his hands. Lady Guinevere raised her eyes to meet his.

"Leon, Arthur will not rest until he is sure there is no hope. You _know_ how they depend on each other."

Sir Leon passed a hand through his hair. "I know, Gwen. But Arthur is still the King and he's still needed by his people. He cannot leave the kingdom without a sovereign if something, and I really hope that's not the case, happens to him."

Lady Guinevere looked down and I saw her swallow. "But Arthur also _needs _Merlin, Leon. You knew him _before_, as did I. He was an arrogant man, full of pride and wrong idealisms. Merlin turned the tide, I'm sure you noticed. Do you really think that after everything they've been through together Arthur will just leave Merlin to die?"

I couldn't help but listen as Sir Leon let out a long sigh. "I know, Gwen. That's why I asked Agravaine to keep the piece of jacket to himself…but he didn't listen to me. I was sure Arthur would go beside himself if he saw it…Gwaine almost went out of his mind in the forest!" his tone acquired a twinkle of admiration and pride. "But he controlled himself. I was quite impressed by the way he handled Agravaine."

Lady Guinevere smiled softly before she bit her lip. "That's because you didn't follow him _after _Leon…he was practically pulling his hair out when I found him…"

I decided that was enough and I kept walking, quite horrified with myself for staying so long. A good servant does not eavesdrop, not even in the direst of circumstances. Was I really failing as an exemplary servant because of all this new information I was gathering on Merlin? Were my curiousness and desire to learn more about this man that had acquired loyalty from everyone in Camelot hindering my performance?

I shook my head as I continued my way towards the armory and tried to piece together the mystery of Merlin. I'd seen the man once or twice but, even if he was tallest than most servants and sometimes rather terrible with things that required balance, he was as normal as it was expected of him. There was nothing that I knew of that made him someone worth dying for.

I ate my meal in silence and to my surprise, I was not immune to the mindless and work-unethical chatter around me once I caught the name of 'Merlin' coming from one of the serving boy's lips.

Contrary to my every day routine, I asked him to sit with me. He was a young boy with a freckled face and big innocent eyes.

"What is that you were saying about Merlin?" I asked him.

The boy sniffled as he passed a dirty sleeve through his nose. I gave him a napkin, careful to touch it only with the tip of my fingers. Who knows how many unnecessary diseases dirt like that carried?

"Merlin saved my life once." He said between hiccups, his eyes red from crying. "I am in charge of the stables, you see, and once _Picket_ was not being his usual self. He tried to kick me, right here." He pointed a finger to his chest while my eyes opened at his next words. "But Merlin got me out of the way. He took a hit in his arm, said it was nothing. Then King Arthur came to have _Picket_ checked over, said I was brave."

I titled my head to the side while I tried to understand. Merlin had saved this child's life on no guarantee for his own safety. I started to understand one of Merlin's outstanding qualities. Bravery.

"Merlin is my friend." The child continued between sniffles. "I don't want him to be dead. I want him to come home."

Suddenly, I wasn't hungry anymore. I took to leave after I told the stable boy that I thought Merlin would be alright, I've always been uncomfortable around children crying. He nodded and went sniffling in the other direction.

That added a bit to my knowledge of Merlin. He was brave, of course. But it did not explain my main concern, King Arthur preferring Merlin as a manservant even when I was clearly more capable than him at the job. Was I doing something wrong? I didn't think so, it was very unlikely. I've always received high praise for my work. Then why was King Arthur rejecting the, possibly, best servant on the castle?

It made no sense.

As I went through my duties that evening my mind was ashamedly absorbed by the question of Merlin. Until a trumpet resounded through the castle.

I really cannot say the utter joy that invaded everyone in the palace when King Arthur returned with…had it really happened? _Merlin._ Yes, the boy was safe and sound, surrounded by hugs from almost every single person working in the castle. I could barely believe my eyes. I saw the stable boy jumping excitedly up and down as King Arthur conducted Merlin to the physician's chambers, a wide grin on his face, so big that I thought it would split in half his face.

During the faintest of moments, as King Arthur looked at his manservant, at the lad, _Merlin_, I saw what I was looking for. It was not contempt for the boy's service, nor was it his skills at doing fairly good speeches. It was something else entirely. There was a light in King Arthur's eyes that had been dulled while he spoke to me that same morning; lightness in his steps…He was radiating joy.

And then, as sudden as it came, the revelation was closed to me. I just saw a King and the back of Merlin's black haired head walk, side by side, towards the physician's chambers.

There are still questions with impossible answers that plague my mind. I still cannot understand entirely the strange fondness King Arthur has for the boy but…

Some things are not meant to be understood, I guess…just proved true. As the fact that, for all my skill as a perfect servant, I was nowhere near Merlin's worth to King Arthur. And the fact that, after a few minutes, King Arthur entered his chambers whistling and I almost fainted at the state he was leaving the room in.

How _on earth_ did he manage to get his chain mail and _face_ so completely covered with filthy mud?

He wouldn't say.

* * *

**So, how did I do? I'm trying to improve my First Person P.O.V :D**

**Any requests or observations are welcomed with open arms. One chapter featuring Leon for the lovely Sarajm is in progress ^^**


	4. More Than A Servant

This is _NOT_ the next chapter. The Leon centric piece is still in the works. :) But plot bunnies attacked a few minutes ago with ravenous hunger and I could do nothing but type and type. So here we are :D

Anyway, enjoy this...drabble? I'm sure not. Eh, ficlet? Don't know, really. But is barely a thousand words.

_Summary:_ Arthur and Uther have a talk a few months after Morgana takes Camelot. Set between season 3 and four. Uther has a few things to say to his son.

**WARNINGS:** I've never written Uther before so maybe there's a bit of OOC' ness?.

I'm planning on taking this down and make it an actual one-shot, much longer and detailed, separated from this series once I come up with the Leon centered one-shot. I would love your opinion on the matter :)

* * *

**More Than a Servant.**

* * *

You should take my word for it, Arthur.

I've followed your progress since you were a little boy, barely able to reach my waist and already dreaming of a land just and fair under your father's rule. You used to think I was a hero, a man that had slain evil since the beginning and that continued to do so, just so that my kingdom and you were still safe.

I've seen you grow up and become a man, motivated by the ideals that propelled me in the first place. I've seen you take Morgana under your wing, not knowing still that she is more to you than a friend. And every time I look at your face I see Ygraine but yet…it does not hurt like it used to. With every day that passes I can see everything you are and will be and I could not be more proud of being able to call you my son.

Still, sometimes your arrogance takes the most from you and your pride clouds your judgment. It is only natural that after having a childhood devoid of a mother and me being as guilty as any grieving father can be, you act distant from everyone and focus only on your achievements. My son, I really never wanted that for you.

You were only a child, already burdened with my mistakes.

I told you once you would need a guardian angel in your long journey to kinship. I had Ygraine, at least until she was taken from me, slain by the evil of magic. It corrupts the very soul, my son. Don't ever forget that.

But yes, Arthur, you will need a guardian angel. And as much as it pains you to admit it, your guardian angel found your side. You do know who I am talking about, don't you? You _do_. The bumbling fool you have for a manservant, the boy. _Merlin._

Yet you feign ignorance and roll your eyes at the possibility of my words being right and I concur with you. He is a servant and a terrible one at that. A servant that is extremely forgetful, seems to have a mental affliction or more than one apparently, and interrupts without shame whenever he feels like it.

But yet, I've seen the way he follows you, my son. I've seen the smiles you think no one notices. I've heard the fresh laughs that come from your room as you and he are reunited every morning.

I've seen it all.

You shake your head. Yes, why shouldn't you? He's a servant and you are a prince, burdened with the heavy duty of a kingdom on your shoulders. He's a servant…and what are _you_? A warrior trained to protect his kingdom and the interests of his people at all times. He's a fool and an idiot, I second that. But Arthur, you should also understand…he's a friend to you. A loyal one.

Your eyes are confused, I can see that. Maybe even a little reluctant. You knew this, didn't you my son? You knew what this servant is for you.

_Father you are not well_, you say. What do you mean by that? Is it the way my body trembles after Morgause…ah, Morgause –Mor-_Morgana_…

_You should rest_, you say. You pity me, don't you Arthur? Your own father, brought down by his sins? And you are the only one that will ever see true remorse in my eyes.

But don't go my son! I take your wrist so that you stay a little longer. I need you to understand. I can feel it in my bones, the eminent demise of your father. Don't shake your head, Arthur. Before I go under there is something you need to know.

Keep him close, your manservant. I've watched him for a long time and I've seen no fault in his loyalty. I've seen how much you rely on him, even when you do not admit it.

_It's getting dark_, you say. But is it, my son? I thought the darkness had already closed in since my own daughter slapped my face with her betrayal. You wonder why I am saying this. And I already told you.

You should take my word for it Arthur.

Your manservant, yes, yes. The boy you so affectionately call an 'idiot." Keep him very close Arthur. Betrayal lurks in the darkest of shadows but that boy is loyal to you with no fault. Take my word for it, Arthur.

I am your father and your King. I've seen much of the word. I've seen despair and horror and now felt the deep blade of my own flesh and blood betraying me. But you must go on my son. You must go on.

I one confronted your manservant after you tried to kill me. You are pale, Arthur. Don't you understand that I already forgave you?

I saw your bumbling idiot and spoke to him after. Let me finish before you try to apologize Arthur. I thanked him for his actions, for his quick thinking and utmost devotion to you.

You huff and roll your eyes as if you don't know what I am talking about but that's alright. Maybe you don't. Maybe one day you'll see, as I do, what a rare devotion you've got at your side.

I was blind for a long time because I refused to see Morgana as she is. But I will not make that mistake again. You've got a loyal servant at your side Arthur. A guardian angel.

You wonder if I am alright and I can do nothing but say that I feel perfectly fine, my mind is clearer than it had been in years. If my own ward, my Morgana, turned away from me with such steadfastness…what is there to surprise me anymore? My eyes are no longer closed, my son. Maybe, if I had seen the signs on her rebellious nature, I might've prevented this disaster from happening. But I didn't. I refuse to be blind any longer.

You had to know, Arthur. And now you do. You should take my word for it, as much as I refused to see it in the past now it becomes clear to me. Your manservant is one man you should be grateful for having at your side. He's shown to be loyal to you beyond the line of duty...and I believe in the words he once told me. There's a bond between you and that boy. Don't let it break Arthur. After I am gone...he'll look after you.

_Rest, father, you are not well._ You force me into my bed and I recognize the quiver in your voice. You are not crying, are you Arthur?

Don't forget, my son. Keep the boy close, very close. Take my word for it Arthur. One day, you'll thank me for this. I've seen how much you rely on him.

He's much more than just a servant, Arthur.

And just before you go out I can hear you say.

_I know._

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"comments" feed the ravenous plot bunnies! ^^_  
_

By the way, after the Leon piece that's coming up. ( In no more than a week, pinky swear!) I think chibitomachi asked for whump? I'd be happy to write one for you! Any hands up?

If you are wondering where that writing style came from you can blame "The Road" by Cormac McCarthy. *bangs head in table.* Hey, at least I have the decency of italicizing what its dialogue!


	5. To Protect

At laaast ! ( cue Etta James.) Leon's one shot!

Enjoy :)

This is dedicated to Sarajm, who asked for it a while ago :D

**WARNINGS:** Spoilers from 4x01,4x02.

Just one thing. It _had_ to be done. Why on earth would the writers deprive us of such wonderful bromance at the end of that episode before Arthur says farewell to Lancelot? Oh right!, *face-palm* that goes on the same pile in which they cut out the sigil scene from 4x01, killed Lancelot off and then made him a traitor, never explained Agravaine's loyalties and made Isolde absolutely useless with a sword. *Sigh.*

* * *

**To Protect.**

* * *

"_Keep an eye on Merlin."_

Those were Arthur's words before we placed foot in the boat that would take us to the center of the Isle. His eyes narrowed for a fraction of a second until I nodded my head and shifted to look at the boy.

I felt the urge to ruffle that unruly hair of his whenever I looked at his unfrozen face. What a scare he gave us! It was only natural, or that I thought at the time, that Arthur felt the need to keep an eye on him. My brow creased as I once again asked myself_ how_ on earth Merlin had survived the touch of the cold spirits.

But, in Gwaine's words, 'we all should be grateful that he is not dead, no matter how.' And I concurred with him. Merlin might not be a knight but in those hours he behaved as one. One far braver than any of us would have imagined. After Arthur convinced himself that his frozen servant was still breathing I could get out of him what had happened. Merlin had_ thrown_ himself; face first, at the dorocha. Even now I get shivers whenever I remember Arthur's disbelieving eyes and his pursed lips. I, still trying to make sense of things, just did not understand why Merlin had felt the urge to do something that…suicidal.

"_Keep an eye on Merlin."_

That I did, I kept an eye on my regent's manservant as we glided through the tranquil waters and faced a pack of wyverns. But then, Arthur advanced towards the center of the Isle and Merlin immediately followed, almost as if he was pulled by a mysterious gravitational force.

I stretched my neck to the maximum, trying to keep my eye on his scrawny back, but they soon disappeared behind a large ancient column. That's when Elyan shouted my name and a strained 'behind you!' and I turned around to slay a wyvern's neck.

Percival, Elyan and I were able to hold the wyverns for a while, mainly thanks to Percival's prodigious height, since he was able to get the wyverns in the soft spot on their stomachs. But as they began to clear away, a scream echoed from the direction my prince, Merlin and the rest of the knights had gone.

"_NO!"_

My blood ran cold and one quick glance at Elyan and Percival told me that they had heard it also. Without a moment to spare I began running towards the ancient ruins, my heart pumping faster than ever, trying not to think of what could've happened…

The first thing I saw was Merlin, shaking where he was kneeling. My eyes scanned the scene, trying to understand what had just happened when I saw Arthur, sprawled on the floor, unconscious.

My heart beat twice as fast as I skidded to my knees by his side, placing a hand on his throat and letting out a relieved sigh when I felt a strong pulse beneath my fingers. A giddy feeling extended through my body. Arthur was alright. Well, yes, there was a lovely bump on the side of his head but that head of his had taken so many hits that I didn't think it would make much of a difference. As I assessed the damage and sighed in relief at seeing it was minimal, I saw Elyan advance towards Gwaine from the corner of my eye, shaking him gently.

"_Wha-?,_ is it morning already?" Gwaine looked around with bleary eyes before he shot upwards, blinking and cussing as he grumbled something about an old witch.

I shifted my eyes when I remembered Arthur's request and located Merlin. He was still kneeling on the same spot, his shoulders shaking….I frowned, debating if I should go to him or stay by Arthur's side.

But I saw Percival kneel by Merlin's side, saying something. The boy shook his head, clutching something tightly between his hands. My heart jumped when I caught a glance. A blood-red cloak. Camelot red.

Then, it hit me, as if a spear had gone through me.

Where was _Lancelot?_

Merlin stood up in wobbly knees and Percival placed a hand on his shoulder, murmuring gently. Then, I saw his face. God, I'd never forget it while I live. His eyes, normally cheerful and bright, were blood-shot, tears flowing freely down pale cheeks. It reminded me of how close he'd been to dying just a few days ago…

"Arthur." Merlin said, and I looked down at my prince. He was still unconscious. Thankfully, without a concussion.

"He's alright." I said, loud enough for him to hear. Merlin nodded and I saw something close to relief cross his eyes before he turned away, muffling a sob with the back of his hand. My heart throbbed in sympathy as Percival placed a large hand on his thin back.

I looked around, still trying to locate Lancelot…with no avail.

_Where_ was he…?

"Merlin!" Gwaine jumped to his feet at the sight of our friend and stumbled towards him. "Merlin, what is it? _What is it?"_

Then, I heard it. The truth I had tried to deny all along.

"Lancelot….Lancelot _did it,_ Gwaine. He offered himself at the Cailleach…"

It hit worse than I thought it would. Lancelot was my friend, my brother in arms. But as I sat there, numbed by the news and wondering what exactly they meant while saw Gwaine place an arm around Merlin's shoulders; my heart went out for the boy. I watched as Gwaine half carried our thin friend towards a safe place, tugging out of his hands the red cloak and saying very gently that _we _would take care of it. Percival, his eyes heavy with sorrow, followed soon after.

"How's Arthur, Leon?"

I looked at Elyan, who had come closer to watch our prince, deep sadness present on his face. I passed a trembling hand through my sweaty face, taking in a long breath.

"He's out cold." I informed my fellow knight and childhood friend. "Go with the others, Elyan….I'll….I'll take Arthur."

Elyan nodded and trotted away as I took in another large, deep breath. My heart thundered in my chest at the thought of Lancelot…._Lancelot_! Doing what?...offering himself….?

I do not know how much time I remained there, looking into space as I waited for Arthur to come around. I could not carry him to camp as I used to do when he was a boy and every time I shook his shoulder his head lolled to the side but he was still lost in the land of dreams. So I waited.

Until a groan got me out of my thoughts. I looked down to find Arthur's eyes were slowly opening, blinking heavily at me.

I tapped his cheek, desperate for him to wake up. "Sire, _sire_…you are alright."

He groaned again and slapped my hand away, wrinkling his nose as he blinked. Then, his eyes shot open, wide and alert, and something similar to fear shone deep within them.

"Leon." He said, bolting upright and scrambling to his feet. His eyes, _panicked _eyes, looked around, searching for something…

I saw his eyes go from a spot in the sky to the rectangular table and then back again. They grew wider, almost desperate.

"_No_…"

It was so quiet that I didn't understand it until Arthur pelted towards me in a blur, gripping my arms with claw-like fingers.

"Sire…" I tried, but Arthur shook me as if the hit in the head hadn't affected him at all.

"Damn you, Leon! I told you to keep an eye on_ him_!"

It took me a while to understand what he was talking about before Merlin landed in my mind and a small frown formed in my face. But Arthur was already gone from my side, slamming his fist on the stone table and cursing out loud. "_Damn him_!"

His other fist slammed then and with a mighty crack I knew that skin and possibly something more had been torn open. My prince didn't seem to mind, though. His heavy, sorrowful eyes were staring ahead and as I followed his gaze, still struggling with what was going; I found he was still staring at the same empty spot in the sky.

I advanced towards him, narrowing my eyes at the scene as I tried to make sense of what was going through Arthur's mind when he brought both of his fists down into the cold stone, resounding with an almighty crack.

"_NO!"_ the unpredictable roar, like a wounded lion, that was torn from my prince's throat, made me run the rest of the space between us, hastily placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Arthur, what…?"

"I told you to keep an eye on him." His voice was soft, broken. I stared at him, uncomprehendingly. "That-that _idiot_…I told him…"

"Sire, I don't understand what….?"

"You were supposed to keep him close, Leon! If he was going to do something as idiotic as only he-…." He sucked in a breath, suddenly unable to finish the sentence.

My mind reeled back to where we had separated, forced to split so we could deal with those overgrown lizards. I frowned at my prince. "Arthur, I could not stop him…"

"Like hell you couldn't!" Arthur bellowed as his face twisted in pure sorrow. "He's a scrawny idiot! You should've knocked him out if you had to!"

I looked at him, scandalized. "Arthur! I am sure he was only trying to protect you…"

"_Protect me?"_ he whirled around on his knees to look at me with a murderous and yet sorrowful glare. "Protect me! It is me who should be protecting him. He's my manservant, my responsibility…"

He wasn't listening to reason anymore. His fists tightened until his hands trembled and once again his hand slammed against the uneven rock.

"Arthur…"

"Hell, I told him it had to be _me_!" Arthur stood up, eyes blazing with grief as he closed his bloody fist. I stared at him, mouth agape. "It had to be me! If the spirits demanded a sacrifice then it should have been _me_!"

A sacrifice. A _human_ sacrifice. Lancelot had…Lancelot had _sacrificed _himself, then.

I faced my regent prince, ignoring the way his lips pursed as he stared down at his wounded fingers. "Arthur, what are you talking about?" I demanded, seriousness enveloping my voice. "A sacrifice?"

"A sacrifice was needed to heal the rift, Leon." Arthur said softly. "I offered myself…but Merlin…" his face scrunched up in sublime pain as he sucked in a breath.

"Sire, you were going to _sacrifice yourself_?" my voice was full of contained surprise. I could barely believe what I was hearing. Had Arthur made the journey only to lend his life so that the veil could be healed? Didn't he know how necessary he was to our kingdom? How all of Camelot depended on him?

"It is my duty as Camelot's protector to protect my people. My duty as crowned prince." Arthur said, shutting his eyes. "I am sorry, Leon. I knew you would not allow it had I told you…"

"Arthur…" my throat was dry as I processed what I was hearing. "There are people who would give their life for you sire. You are too important, me, your citizens, and your knights…they would all do it willingly for you to live…"

"And even my manservant." Arthur finished softly, his voice breaking. "Even _him_…"

That's when I understood. His anger, his grief….

"Merlin." Arthur said, looking into my eyes and exposing with painful clarity the raw emotions that were brimming behind them. "Where is he?"

"Gwaine took him back to camp." I said, immediately understanding how misinterpreted my phrase could be when Arthur's jaw tensed and his eyes, wide and filled with pain, closed tightly. "But sire…" I added rapidly. "It looks as if Lancelot…"

"Not now, Leon, please." Arthur's voice was soft, so unlike my strong leader. He rubbed a hand through his eyes and shook his head. "Please don't. I-I need to see him first."

"But Arthur…"

"Leon." He turned towards me, anger simmering in his face while grief poured from his eyes. "For once in your life just listen to me. I am begging you to _stop_ talking."

I licked my lips when, with a heavy sigh, he started walking again, leaving the heart of the Isle. I followed him, trying to find a way around his words. I could barely stand seeing him so…broken. Yes, I'd never seen him at such a vulnerable state, not even when the Lady Morgana had betrayed us. He refused to meet my eyes and I could tell he was trying to stop his tears.

_Men, no man is worth any of your tears._

_Well, Arthur_. I thought sympathetically. _It seems you just found one that is worth yours._

Just before we reached the campsite Arthur stopped dead, hands clenched in fists once again, bruised and torn open by the rocky surface of the table. His eyes found mine, then, and I saw how red they were turning as he stared, unblinking, at something.

I followed his gaze and my heart clenched at what he undoubtedly was _thinking_ his eyes were seeing. Merlin was curled up on a blanket, apparently fast asleep although by the marks of tears on his cheeks, I could see he was only trying to forget about what had happened…

"Oh, God…" Arthur muttered beside me. The look in his eyes...it was that of a heartbroken man.

I coughed through the tightness of my throat. "Arthur, this is not what it…"

But he ignored me and advanced, as if lost in a daze, towards where his manservant was sleeping. Or at least pretending to be asleep.

"About time, princess." Gwaine greeted him somberly, never taking his eyes from the lively flames.

But for once Arthur did not react at the pun. He just kept walking, eventually kneeling and hesitantly placing a hand on Merlin's shoulder.

Gwaine directed me a confused glance that was echoed by Percival as I hurried towards Arthur, trying to reach him before…

Merlin opened his eyes, still red-rimmed and stared right at Arthur's face. I saw the heavy grief that had set itself in Arthur's eyes dissipate as when the clouds dissolved in front of the sun and then confusion settled in.

"_What_?" his nails dig into the worn material of his manservant's jacket as he stared, uncomprehendingly, at Merlin's face. For a few moments, no one said anything. Then Merlin, ever the first one the react, sat upwards and gazed right into Arthur's eyes.

"Arthur." He greeted sadly. "What happened to your hand?"

"Merlin." Arthur said, and the name in his lips was full of such alleviation that Gwaine and Elyan frowned at me while I tried to make it through the sudden tightness in my throat. "You're _alive_."

"Obviously." Merlin muttered, not looking into Arthur's eyes as he took the injured fingers of our prince and began assessing the damage. "What did you do Arthur? Punch a wall?"

Arthur didn't confirm it, his eyes wide as he repeated, still in disbelief. "You are alive."

Merlin didn't answer but his eyes were down casted as he ran his fingers expertly through Arthur's bruised wrist.

Then, I saw it. Suddenly a grin split Arthur's face, so full of manic, stomach flipping_ joy_, that Gwaine's eyes became slits and even Percival looked up to meet Elyan's gaze, both obviously trying to understand why on earth would Arthur be this happy. But I knew, and the confirmation of what I had only caught glimpses of, struck me.

Lancelot was dead. _Merlin wasn't._

And as Arthur's grin widened and Merlin met his eyes I saw not a shade of grief pass through his features.

* * *

_To Protect._

That's a knight's greatest and noblest duty. Protect the innocent, the defenseless, the sick, and the lowly. Protect those who have no meaning to defend themselves. Protect those who depend on you. Protect those you love.

As a knight myself, I understood it all too well. But what Arthur said… what he had implied...it had struck me to the very core. The camp was silent around me. Merlin and I, both grim faced, looked down at the heavy fire that kept us warm.

Then, I broke it with what had been twisting and turning in my mind since the titling lights of the morning.

"Arthur seems to think you were going to sacrifice yourself."

Merlin didn't look at me but kept his eyes on the flames, stirring slightly as he tightened his thin blanket around his shoulders.

"Don't know where he got that idea." He said softly.

I raised an eyebrow, noticing how his lips twitched at the obvious lie. He lowered his eyes even more.

"Merlin, look at me."

Reluctantly, the scrawny servant, the boy that was like a little brother to me, raised his eyes to meet mine. They were still red and puffy, contrasting almost painfully against the paleness of his skin.

"What you did when you and Arthur went to collect firewood..." I paused for a moment, making sure that he was looking at me. "That was brave. But I just don't _understand_. It is a knight's job to protect his King, his prince...and you are...no offense, Merlin. But you are a servant. A brave one at that, but..."

"Lancelot asked me the same thing." he muttered, almost too low for me to hear. His eyes fell from mine as one tear rolled down his cheek. "In a way..."

I felt my throat tightening at the mention of our lost warrior. But Merlin's eyes were lost in some otherworldly vision when he spoke next. "Do you really want to know, Leon?"

With unblinking eyes, I nodded.

Merlin stood up, wrapping himself even tighter on his blanket as he directed his eyes, somewhat defiant, towards me.

"It is your duty to protect Camelot." he said. His voice was oddly constricted and utterly solemn "Well, It is my_ duty_ to protect Arthur."

I stared at him, gaping at the words.

"Merlin..."I began carefully. "It is not your..."

"Arthur will be a great King." he continued, as if he hadn't heard me. His eyes were shimmering with the moonlight, an odd, azure blue. "The greatest King this land has ever known. And I will protect him with my life, until the very end."

I just looked at him, at his utmost devotion, with big eyes. In just a few sentences this serving boy had reminded me of the reasons why I became a knight. To protect and serve the best man I'd ever known. Arthur.

As sudden as it came, Merlin's eyes lost its fire and once again silent tears rolled down his pale face. He shook his head.

"Sometimes, the price looks to great." he muttered to himself. "But it is still worth it."

He was clearly referring to Lancelot, that much was certain. My friend turned his back on me and walked towards his end of the campfire, curling into his blanket.

I was left staring at the fire, my mind replaying each and every time I'd seen Merlin go above and beyond his duty. Like that time he'd faced the dragon, or when he'd disappeared for days after Arthur was bitten by the questing beast...all those times he alone had brought Arthur out of a gloomy state of mind...

I searched for him in the darkening area, the last embers of the fire already dying. His back was facing me but I could tell he was still awake. His shoulders were shaking.

"Merlin?" I called. He hummed in response. "I was wrong."

"...'bout what?"

"You being a servant." I admitted. "You've demonstrated bravery far above that of a knight. Far above that of any man I've known."

I listened for his voice, my ears prickling at the sound of grasshoppers. Then,

"Except for Lancelot." he said.

"Yes," I agreed, narrowing my eyes at his back. "Lancelot was as noble as any Lord."

He fell silent and I proceeded to lay down in the grass, staring up at the skies. I was still dazed by what had happened that day, everything I had witnessed. From Lancelot's sacrifice, to Arthur's sheer despair and then to Merlin's pledge...if it could be called that.

"Leon?" he called out of the blue, his voice sounding thin and raspy. "Did you know Ygraine?"

I frowned at the question, forcing my mind back almost twenty five years, when I was barely a young boy of five walking through the big courtyard by my Mother's hand, being scooped up by a golden haired lady, a Queen. Queen Ygraine.

"Yes." I breathed. "Yes, I did."

"Her sigil..."Merlin said softly. "It was a bird..."

"A dove." I corrected gently, titling my head to stare at him. He was facing me now, his hands placed below his cheek as his wide eyes looked right at me. "It was a dove, Merlin. She used to say birds were her favorite, if my mother's words were right, because of the way they protect their little newborns. With their life."

Merlin's eyes looked right through me at his. He said nothing, but I could tell the words had struck him greatly.

"She was so full of life." I continued. "Oh, you should've seen her Merlin. I'd never met anyone so young spirited. There were orders of always letting a little trail free on the lower town so that she could go on her morning gallop. I think I saw her once or twice...she always laughed so much...

"and when she knew she would have Arthur...she turned to birds even more, you know, Merlin? My mother told me Ygraine had this dream...just before Arthur was born, in which a hawk, I even think my mother mentioned it was a _merlin_..." I smiled at the coincidental names. "...fluttered around his little head. She insisted on having one brought into the castle for Arthur. It lasted a week, I think. Uther was driven mad with the bird's screeches." I chuckled gently at the thought of Uther enduring a bird in his castle. "But my mother used to say Arthur loved it."

I did not catch the way Merlin's eyes glistened at my words, nor the slow smile that had spread across his face. But then, the lad murmured a quiet. "Thank you Leon." before turning his back on me again. I didn't know what I had done to make him feel better but just the thought that I was able to provide comfort had me smiling at his thin back.

"You are welcome, Merlin." I said affectionately at the back of his head. "You are welcome."

Years later, I would remember his words and it would be my sword the first one laying at his feet, for I had seen in him the gentleness and bravery of a thousand knights. And the heart of a thousand others.

* * *

Well, I cannot take credit for the dream. Claps to the amazing Captain Ozone for Young Hawk, a huge inspiration on this chapter.

_Au revoir!_ With whump apparently ;) I really think that apart from the Supernatural fandom (THAT is creepy, let me tell you.) we are the more avid whumpers out there. (what's wrong with all of us?)


	6. Going Under Part 1

I have an excuse! I do, _I do_! We are moving and I was too busy thinking of my new room! * Everyone stares.* Well, um….yeah. That's not a good excuse is it?

This was a hard one to write, let me tell you. At first it was going to be through the bad guy's point of view but it was just _way _too hard. And painful for poor Merlin.

Anyway, this was written because the world needs more of Gwen and Merlin friendship and stories were nobles beat up Merlin and Arthur comes to the rescue are my guilty pleasure, though it is hard to write them. Halfway through I had to stop because I just feel so damn guilty! Seriously, one thing is reading whump and the adorable subsequent bromance and another thing is writing it and going '_ouch, that must've hurt, I am so so sorry!_' every few sentences.

I figured is about time I start doing this. I could have so much fun with it :D

IDOM; If I did, Agravaine would've died in 4x02 and there would've been no _Gwencelot_ whatsoever. Lancelot would be alive and Merlin wouldn't be as angsty as he is all the time because he would've figured out by now that he IS the most powerful warlock and not ever Aggy can stand in his way. Gwaine would be as badass as fan fiction portrays him, the sigil scene would've NEVER been cut out, Hunith would be present in half of the episodes and in the reveal, Arthur would _not_ have a Burger King crown on his head and Morgana would change clothes once in a while. (during the 4th season.)

So, chibitomachi asked for whump a while ago and I am only too happy to give her this chapter. TA-DA! :D ( I hope you can forgive me for the wait, I seriously did not think it would take this long! )

Thank you for all your reviews, I am so very grateful for such wonderful people! Here are some I never managed to answer.

Redwolf11: Thank you so much! And I took your suggestion at heart :D Keep reading to find out!

Guest: Thank you! And of course you can! :D

Potato Fairy: Lol, I know. Thanks! :D

MamzelleHermy: Aww, *blushes* thank you so much! *hugs and never lets go.*

Guest: You, my friend, made my day. I am truly honored you think each chapter is like a jewel. That's just beautiful and truly, truly touching. *blows kisses.*

wind of banners: Hello! Thank you so much And I completely agree with you. Caring, notanidiot! Arthur is the best.

A Million Mad Musings: Aww, you are welcome!

Chibitomodachi: thank you! This is for you!

a merlin fan: thank you so so much my friend!

Guest: Aww! *blushes.* That's just amazing! Thank you!

caldera32: *sniffs* you are so touching! *hugs*

sarajm: You are very welcome my friend! I am really glad you liked it!

NOTE: _If I somehow forgot someone please know it is not intentional. I tried to answer to all of those I couldn't PM but I am, quite sadly, a really distracted human being…..Oh, look! A butterfly! *goes off to chase it.*_

**WARNINGS:** Merlin BAMF/Whump and Arthur BAMF, Gwen BAMF, Arthur swearing and guaranteed sappiness in heavy doses. Nothing more, really. :D

There will be two parts of this because it was becoming a humongous monster! :D

For your information:

Montagu was an actual kingdom in the Arthurian times. ( I just goggled it :D)

* * *

**Going Under**

**Part 1.**

* * *

If you hurt my brother I'll kill you I swear! I'll kill you all. _I will kill you ALL_!

- Dean Winchester.

* * *

Years later, whenever Gaius asked me about that particular journey, I always shuddered before answering. The memories were too vivid in my mind and everything swam into focus whenever I tried to recall, the first time for Elyan, what must've been fleeting panic in the space of a week. It was Arthur's face what shocked me the most, though, and sometimes I find myself staring at his eyes in search for that blinding, stormy fury that had invaded his features but I can find none of it. I've _never _seen Arthur lose control as quickly as I did _that_ time.

Arthur had been rambling about Lord Thomas' city for weeks before we actually set up to go and finish the treaty that had hanged in between Camelot and Montagu for almost 6 years. He told me about the Lord that had treated him so kindly when Uther had taken him at the outskirts of his kingdom for a time off and I laughed at the image of a blond, little 5 year old Arthur running around, for once free of the pressure and responsibilities of being the Prince of Camelot.

"You'll like him Guinevere," he told me as he ran his thumbs across my hands. "He was like a second father to me during those months."

He was glowing when we finally parted although Merlin, bless him, fell down the stairs and there was a half hour of delay. But my truest friend, with his cheeky grin, only declared Arthur's sausages damaged and ran off to get him some more.

The way towards Montagu will always be dear to my heart. I spent one of the happiest moments of my life as my mare trotted besides my best friend and my husband, laughing and joking, amused and yet touched at the banter between the two.

Just as I saw Arthur cuff Merlin playfully on the back of his head the kingdom of Montagu came into view, I remember, yes, I remember very well Arthur's surprise when a man with jet black hair and even blacker eyes received us.

"Lord Kent." Arthur said and I felt the small weariness in his voice.

"How long since I've seen you, Arthur. I believe we were mere children when we met?" the man answered, flickering his eyes towards me. Later, I would understand the small shiver that ran through my spine. "And this is Guinevere, I presume? Your new Queen?" he bended towards me to take my hand but Arthur suddenly took my fingers between his and pulled me closer.

"Yes, Kent." Arthur said. I titled my head in confusion when I recognized the voice he used whenever he was running out of patience. From the corner of my eye I saw Merlin do the same. "Now, where is your father?"

"I'm afraid my father's been taken ill a few days ago." Lord Kent said, shrugging his shoulders. "It seems you have me to deal with now, don't you Arthur? Just like _old_ times!"

Arthur's face became stony as these words reached him but I had barely enough time to wander why before Kent had invited us in and a few maids were surrounding me, fussing over with cups of water and wine and conducting me to my chambers between colored dresses. I looked back and my frown deepened when I saw Arthur whisper something in Merlin's ear and my friend's eyes flash with something I'd seen only directed towards Arthur. Fierce protectiveness.

A few hours later Arthur was taking my hand so I could sit by his side at the table and Merlin was leaning over me as he poured wine into my cup. Lord Kent, now that I got to see him better, was a ruddy man, tall, though not as tall as Arthur, and with a deep, booming voice that echoed all through the hall.

Arthur cleared his throat after he finished with his drumsticks, placing both hands below his chin. "I want to thank you and your father for your hospitality." My husband said. "And I wish him a speedy recovery."

"You are most welcome." Lord Kent answered, and he grinned towards me. "When I heard the news of your marriage I could barely believe my ears! Mithian told me you'd changed your mind so bluntly I feared magic could be involved!"

Merlin, who was taking his time pouring Arthur more wine, let down the jar harder than I thought possible. I stared at him, trying to figure out what was wrong and even more so when Arthur seemed to approve of his action. My husband looked straight into Lord Kent's eyes and tightened his hold in my hand.

"But of course, I can see why now!" Lord Kent continued, winking at me. "She's such a sheer beauty….of course you did not want something like…_status_ getting on your way."

"I believe we are here for other matters, Kent." Arthur forced out through clenched teeth as I stared at him in utter confusion. "The treaty…."

The rest of the meal went by as any council meeting would have. Kent negotiated with Arthur the terms of the agreement, dismissed with a breathy laugh some of his father's laws which he thought _'antiquated'_ and shook Arthur's hand when my husband decided to retire for the night.

"What's wrong?" I asked him once we were behind closed doors. I hadn't missed the brief glances he shared with Merlin before he closed the door behind us and whispered "don't do anything stupid, you idiot" to our friend.

Arthur stared at me for a while. "Nothing." He said, doing a poor imitation of his best smile.

I walked over to him and titled my chin to look at his eyes. "Arthur, you can tell me."

"It's _nothing _Guinevere. Really, you don't need to worry."

As I frowned at him Arthur simply smiled and pulled me into his arms for a hug.

"Really, Gwen." He said between my hair. "There's nothing to worry about."

Of course I knew Arthur was lying but I am afraid to say I did not see a reason to confront him about it. I thought, wrongly so, that maybe this were only issues between the two kingdoms, that maybe there was something wrong with the way Kent handled things…

But I got my answer a few days after while Arthur was off discussing the treaty with the librarian and a few councilman of Montagu. As I stared out of the window in the chambers Kent had lent us, suddenly a door shut behind me.

I whirled around, startled, expecting to see Arthur with a handful of flowers on his hands or even Merlin asking for my help while he handed me a ruined piece of clothing, but not Lord Kent, who finished closing the door with lock and key and then turned around to face me.

"Lord Kent." I said and my surprise could not hide the little weariness that was creeping into my voice. "I was not expecting to see you here."

"My Lady" he said, smiling. But as he spoke the coldness in his eyes did not melt away. "I wished to have a little chat with you before dinner."

I glanced outside to the beautiful mountains before turning around towards him again with a polite smile. "Of course…The view is lovely, by the way."

"My mother used to love it." Lord Kent answered fluently, stepping closer. "But then again, she was able to appreciate it. She was of noble birth."

That got me, I have to say. For a few moments I said nothing and stared blankly at the horizon before blinking towards him.

"_Excuse me?"_

"You should _not_ be sitting upon a throne." He said shaking his head as if he was feeling sorry for me. "Arthur's giving power to servants and weaklings, and that kind of behavior is very…._dangerous _for a man of his status."

I knew that nobles were usually prejudiced towards servants, after all Uther had never understood how Arthur and I could love each other, but I never knew it was this bad. Not until I spotted the utter hatred hidden in those beetle eyes.

"I am sorry you feel this way." My voice was cracking. "But this was Arthur's decision and he believed it to be just and fair."

"Arthur is just an idealist." Lord Kent said with a dismissive gesture. "He dreams of an false world that will never come to be. I'm sure he just had a moment of weakness. After all, you are very beautiful…."

Almost without me noticing he stepped forwards and grabbed my wrist with his clammy fingers. Clenching my teeth, I tried to break free but with no avail.

Trying to keep my voice neutral I said softly "Lord Kent, I recommend you let me go this _instant_."

He titled his head, as if he was watching something amusing. "and if I do not?"

I'll forever be grateful for Elyan in my life after this. With a quick motion I brought my fist to his face and to my satisfaction there was a sickening crunch before a low moan escaped his lips. He staggered back and I wrestled myself free from his grasp, my heart almost escaping my chest as I did so. But before I could go around him his horrible fingers closed around my arm and I yelped when his other hand closed around my mouth.

That's when I heard someone fumbling with the door, trying to open it but unsuccessfully so. In a few moments the knocking turned into banging and swearing.

I closed my eyes as I stumped my heel in his foot as hard as I could (1), giving thanks to heavens those snobby ladies made me wear such high shoes. He screamed out in pain and I tried to stumble towards the door when-

"Get your hands off her!"

I bit his hand as hard as I could and as he screamed and shook it away I looked over to the door, which was busted open by some miracle, to find the tall and lean figure of Merlin standing there.

"_Merlin!"_

My friend did not wait a heartbeat and the next moment he was making me back up as he pulled me behind him, one hand extended towards Lord Kent in a silent threat as the man sucked his bleeding thumb.

Merlin directed me a concerned look. "You okay Gwen?"

"I'm fine, Merlin" I said, attempting to smile at him though there must've been just panic and shock in my face because a ghost of his smile crossed his features but his eyes darkened half a second after, and he pushed me back at the same time that Lord Kent glowered.

"Why, you little-"he tenderly touched the side of his face where I had slapped him. "You will regret this…"

But he never finished the phrase; instead, he slipped a long, curved knife slowly out of his vest, eyes glinting with real malice. I could feel myself growing pale and Merlin's movements became frantic as he made me back away even more quickly.

Then, he lunged forwards.

I screamed when Merlin pushed me towards the door ( with a strength I never knew he possessed) and I tripped with the heavy lace that covered my dress, landing just outside the doorframe. Almost dreading to do it, I forced my eyes open to see Merlin punch the disgraced Lord in the stomach at the same time the despicable knife cut through his upper arm.

My heart climbed to my throat.

"Merlin!" I cried out.

My dear friend pushed Kent's hands away from his throat, in which it was very slowly curling to my horror, and stared at me with those blue eyes. "Go, Gwen, _go!_ Get out of here!"

And with one last look towards him I did. I ran and ran, blindly directing my steps towards the library since the tears were blurring my vision. Pushing the doors open in a pure frantic haze, I came face to face with two or three man who stared at me through their glasses and as my gaze found Arthur he jumped from his seat as if forced by magic.

"_Guinevere!"_

I lunged myself into his arms as he ran towards me, trying desperately to blink the tears away. "Arthur, please, you've got to come quick…"

It seems like if he understood my blabbering because his hands curled on my upper arms as I tried to stop myself from panicking.

"Is it Kent?" Arthur asked, urgently shaking my arms. "Did he do something? Gwen, did he hurt you?"

I shook my head. "Not me…" I managed softly. "But Arthur, _Merlin_…."

Apparently, no more words needed to be said. Arthur's face morphed into complete and feral anger, and even _fear_, as he turned on his heels and sprinted out of the room and I did the same, this time, tears really spilling down my cheeks.

As we made a sharp turn around the next pillar and came face to face with our guest chambers my heart was already coming close to escaping when a sharp scream came out of the room.

Arthur, by my side, actually let out a low growl and stormed into the chambers, keeping a hold on my wrist and pushing me back.

All I have related until this point is really a blur compared to what my husband and I saw next. The scene is sharp on my mind even after all this time. After all, had I really felt utter desperation until that moment came along?

Lord Kent was hunched over in the floor with blood flowing from his swollen lip and nose, a shallow cut over his eye and bruises all over it. He was taking gasping breaths as his eyes met those of Arthur and he let the knife slip from his fingers and fall to the floor with a small metallic sound.

But as I stared at the man with disbelief Arthur let out a gasped cry and ran towards the other side of the room. I followed his movements to find out what was wrong and discovered it was Merlin, my poor friend, clutching one of his arms to his chest and swaying lightly on a darkened spot.

"Hey, you prat." I heard him say hoarsely, those eyes still twinkling weakly. "Took you l'ng enough."

Arthur cried out Merlin's name when his thin body fell forwards, right into Arthur's arms. My husband knelt on the floor, desperately probing his best friend's body, looking for obvious injuries as he repeated, almost too low for me to hear. "I'll kill him, I'll _kill _him…."

"Guards…" the word was a whisper from my lips when I saw Arthur's hand, shaking slightly, comb through Merlin's hair only to show me his fingers coated in blood. "GUARDS!"

I did not wait for answer but fell to my knees beside my husband and best friend, titling Merlin's head towards me to find his dull dark blue pupils staring back.

"She's alright." Merlin croaked as he blinked up towards Arthur. "….'told you she'd be fine…"

"I never meant you could do_ this_ old friend…" my husband said brokenly and his hand tightened around the nape of Merlin's bruised neck.

Merlin's lips rose and his lopsided grin seemed to illuminate his face, which I had just noticed was way too pale. "I said I would protect her as I've always protected you," he said with the barest of breaths. "Phew…' guess you just didn't know it meant 'till the day I die too."

Arthur's eyes went wide and I choked back a sob when Merlin's voice died down and his eyes rolled back, letting his head fall down just below Arthur's chin.

For a moment I just watched Arthur blink as his head turned towards me, and then the raw fury, rightful anger and feral bestiality in them shook me to the very core. With a murderous glare towards the despicable man who'd done this to our best friend, he nodded towards the door, where guards were already aligned, puzzled, as they watched their Lord growl through his teeth as he staggered upwards and the visiting King cradling a servant on the floor.

I stood up and went towards them, letting every part of the authority I'd taken from my new position as sovereign come forth through my voice, even if it was still shaking slightly from the sobs. "Please bring a physician here. And you-"I pointed towards a man that was probably as big as Percival. "-restrain your Lord."

He blinked towards me. "But….your majesty…."

"Did you not hear me?" I cried out, stamping my foot in the ground with frustration as I took a step towards him. "_My friend is injured!_ I need a physician now and I need you to restrain that man! _I am your Queen!"_

That did it. Bowing exaggeratedly the man went towards his fellow guards. 'You heard the Lady, bring the healer!' and the one I'd screamed at knelt down by Lord Kent's side and began binding his wrists.

"You are a fool, Arthur!" Kent spat vehemently as the guard forced him up. "It is best if you abandon your silly ideas of equality and start behaving like a true king! Your servant will not be the first one to_ die_ for your foolishness!"

As Arthur tightened his grip around Merlin I felt my cheeks flush with anger. Stamping my heels on the ground as hard as I could I walked towards that- that_ monster_ and slapped him again.

"Shut up your mouth right now!" I hissed, almost touching my nose with his. "What do you gain by saying such things?"

He smiled at me and I saw he was missing a tooth. Good. "Don't worry servant, if there is a trace of the man Arthur is supposed to be he'll understand that all lives are worth _less _than his."

When Arthur did not answer I whipped my head around to the sight that would haunt me in nightmares for years to come.

My husband leaning over and placing an ear over Merlin's thin bruised chest as he supported his head with his other hand, face darkened in barely contained grief.

My heart fluttered against my ribcage like a frightened bird.

Merlin was hurt. He was hurt very, _very_ badly.

"Arthur…" I whispered as I approached them once more, forgetting completely about the perpetrator of such monstrous act at the sight of Merlin's bruised body. "Arthur…is he?..."

My tears choked me before I could finish. But Arthur shook his head as he raised it and placed a hand upon his face, closing his eyes. "Thank God _no_, Gwen, but-"

He stopped talking and that's when I heard it. As Merlin gasped in a breath something…._cracked_ inside him.

Arthur's eyes widened in horror, as did mine.

"A broken rib." We said together. My voice a soft whisper. His... a choked gasp.

The next moment Arthur was screaming like an animal about to be slaughtered, rising up from the ground and lunching forwards towards Kent as his fist landed on the man's stomach.

"HOW_ DARE_ YOU!" my husband roared. Shaking the man by his collar as he delivered another blow, Arthur truly looked like a vengeful angel prepared to kill. His glare was murderous as he punched Lord Kent straight on his chest and the man gasped for precious air.

"He's just a _servant_, Arthur…" the man said, breathless.

"I will not give that a dignified answer because it doesn't deserve any." Arthur said his voice dangerously low. "But I've always believed actions speak louder than words."

With another glance at Merlin, whose head I'd taken into my lap as I let silent tears wash over the bruises, Arthur took off his gauntlet and threw it at Lord Kent's feet.

I'd never seen a man look so frightened in my life.

"You've threatened my wife and beaten up my ser-"he took a deep breath and when he spoke again his eyes were unnaturally blue. "No, not anymore. You've beaten the man who's like a _brother _to me to a pulp. I think that's offense enough towards your King. This will be a duel to the death."

* * *

I am so evil! Mwahahaha! * turns around and buries head in pillow.* I am so so sorry Merlin!

(1) Come on...all of us girls have wanted to do that to a especially annoying person :) ( I couldn't stop thinking of Anne Hathaway as I wrote that :) )

Well, part 2 should be up in a week at least. I still have to work with Exustio…*ducks* But I'm working through the reveal right now, and believe me it is so much fun! :D

Next part features lots of bromance and protective Arthur! *hugs him tightly* which is just cute!


	7. Going Under Part 2

Ok, so I lied. There's going to be three parts of this. I was just being silly the last chapter forgetting ALL about Merlin's scars and finally realized it when I was halfway through this chappie. Had to type it again with the added scene. *bangs head on table.*

MamzelleHermy: Aww, thank you so much! Yes, I'm sure we all love Gwen as queen, can't wait to see her in action next season.

Potato Fairy: Thank you! I'm glad you liked the Dean quote ( I just love it when Dean's in big brother mode!) and below there's another one just for you

caldera32: Yep, I was going for that. Since he's pretty much invincible with magic I thought it would be interesting to make him fight with fists, after all as skinny as he is he's still capable of inflicting damage :)

BakerTennant'sTardis: Lol, I'm glad! Yes, BAMF Arthur to the rescue is certainly one of my favorite things on this fandom. And I am proud of Merlin too :D

Chibitomodachi: Thank you so so much! I'm glad you liked it :) and to make up for it here's part 2, soon-ish.

TeganL74: Aww, I am so glad you're a happy bunny! *hugs you*

Redwolf11: Lol, I adore them too. Nope, is not wrong at all, especially when you give Kent the face I gave him. *scowls*

Midnight Lupus: Aww, thanks! And I hope this was fast enough for you.

AFellowMerlinFan: Sadly I have to say it's wrong but it's still such a guilty pleasure! *winks* We Merlinians are really crazy :P Thank you!

CaptainOzone: Ah, thank you for noticing that Oz! Yep, I wanted to avoid the whole, as you so well put it *damsel in distress* and make Gwen very capable of defending herself. After all, she's the daughter of a blacksmith and grew up with a brother, seriously, what more can you ask for? Aww, I'm glad you liked the last line! It was a spur of the moment kind of thing. :D

April29Roses:Aww, I am so glad my friend! Your review really made my day :D It truly encompasses everything that I wanted to achieve with this fic and it makes it all worth it! Thank you :')

InkWoven: Aww, thanks!

Merlinfanatic77: Lol, I'm still trying to figure out what you mean by the first word :D But thank you so so so much! *hugs* And I am a sucker for Arthur recognizing Merlin as a brother, I think is my SPN vein acting out. Yes, I do like to make Gwen more of a warrior-y type. I am glad you liked how I wrote her, that's just amazing :D

lozzabluebell: Hey Lozza! I'm happy to see you here! Wow, that's a lot of suggestions; I'll try to skim through them. Thank you so much! :D

Sarajm: Aww, thank you very much! Yes, protective Arthur is the best, isn't it?

Kat: I am so glad! :D

NOTE: I know absolutely_ nothing_ of medicine except for whatever I managed to retain in Anatomy Honors, so please completely ignore it if something does not make sense :D

Thank you very much all of you! Here's the second part :D

* * *

**Going Under**

**Part 2.**

* * *

"Watching out for you is my job. More than that, it's who I am."

-Dean Winchester.

* * *

"_Y-you cannot do that, Arthur Pendragon."_

Just as Merlin let out a soft groan and blinked up at me and I thanked the gods on high, Arthur bended forwards until his nose was almost touching that of Kent. "Just- watch- me."

Kent struggled to look up. The motion made his eyelashes flicker madly over his black eye. "You will leave my lands without heir for a _servant_!" he spat out.

"You are already admitting I would win if this was to take place." said Arthur with the hints of a wolfish smile growing on his face. "That's rather gratifying."

"Your so called _brother_…" he shot a look towards Merlin and I looked back, placing a soothing hand on my friend's brow. I tried to blame the burning skin on the heat but I knew it was most likely infection….

In those moments I was trying very hard not to cry, especially since Merlin was starting to come around again and he needed me to be strong….for him.

"-he dared to touch me." Kent continued, drawling his words as he spat out blood. "I am at an obvious disadvantage Arthur Pendragon. Or believe me, it would be my pleasure to kill you-"

"The feeling is mutual." Arthur shot back. "So, what will it be then? Would you rather fight me or be a coward….after all, if a mere _servant_ could beat you like that….well, there's no hope for you is there?"

I frowned at his words and was about to reply when an odd fire came alive on Kent's disgusting face.

"I will, Arthur Pendragon, I _will _fight you! And I swear that once I've killed you your dear _servants_ will come next!"

I saw Arthur's face darken and every part of his demeanor change. His muscles tensed and his jaw clenched, in a way I had seen only counted times.

"What…?"

I looked down and fought the urge to cry out in relief when I saw Merlin's blue eyes looking back at me. He wrinkled his nose as he looked around, clearly at loss.

"Yes, I'm right here Merlin." I said softly, brushing back the hair from his forehead with as much gentleness I could muster. "Arthur's taking care of everything, it will be alright…"

"He owes me one." Merlin mumbled. My heart doubled its work when I realized how slurred his voice was. Remembering Arthur's blood coated hand I touched, barely, the side of Merlin's head and felt the developing bump that was growing under my fingers.

Concussion.

I could barely retain a gasp while Arthur's voice reached my ears.

"Don't you repeat that in front of me. Get him out of my sight!"

The guard who had Kent (because by that time I'd already refuse to make valid his title of _Lord._) taken by the wrists stood up and went out of the room as the man limped in front of him.

Arthur dragged his hand down through his face slowly, sighing in frustration. Finally, he turned around and locked his eyes with mine. My God, I could read in them all the worry and sheer_ fear_…

"How is he?" Arthur asked softly as he knelt by me.

I shook my head, letting my tears free at the same time I wiped them with my fingers. "Concussion, a broken arm…probably two or more broken ribs…and I think I saw…"

As the memory hit me and Arthur looked at me with wide, scared eyes, I turned Merlin's arm as softly as I could but he still groaned and his face crumpled in obvious pain. Oh, how I'd hoped to be mistaken! But there was a nasty cut that ran from his wrist and spiraled through his pale skin before ending on his elbow.

My husband's eyes were inflamed as he let out a low growl. "I will _kill_ that bastard."

"I wish you could." I whispered passionately, drying more tears with my thumb. "But Arthur, don't you think you overreacted….?"

Arthur looked at me with wide, incredulous eyes. "Overreacted? _Overreacted_? Guinevere! He tried to hurt you and… look – _just look_ at what _he did_!"

He jabbed a finger at the air, pointing straight at Merlin's pale face.

He was livid with anger and fear for our friend and it was touching to see him accept how close Merlin was to his heart but in those moments of sheer panic all I could think of was _Caerleon_, even if the situations were extremely different. I still could feel that cold, distant Arthur that had returned after killing the king and by what Geoffrey had once stated Camelot's biggest supply of seafood came from Montagu.

Right now, I needed to be Arthur's reason because the sight of Merlin's beaten body was clearly throwing his off the board.

"I know, Arthur! And believe me when I tell you that I want to punish him as much as you do but…."

A weak cough interrupted me and Arthur's eyes locked with mine before we both looked downwards. Merlin's eyes fluttered open for a second time and I could feel a smile growing on my face even if tears began building up behind my eyes.

"Arthur…"

Arthur was there in an instant, leaning over so that his face could enter Merlin's line of sight.

"Yeah, I'm right here."

I bit back the urge to hug him when a genuine smile lit up Merlin's face and that impish grin glowed for a few moments, making my husband smile softly too. Numerous times in which I'd seen that same smile cross his face came to my mind, and I swiftly recognized Merlin had been part of them all.

"And you say I am a girl…" Merlin mumbled, a quiet giggle escaping through his lips. However, soon he was placing his uninjured arm over his ribs, which must've jostled at the movement. "_Ow_."

And just like that the smile was gone and a frown replaced the rightful anger on my husband's face.

"We need to get him out of here, Arthur." The urgency on my voice rang through the empty room. "He needs a physician. Gaius says broken ribs can be dangerous if left untreated for too long…"

Arthur nodded, his face grim, and placed Merlin's uninjured arm around his shoulders as I stroked his hair gently. God only knows how much pain my friend was in and I did not wanted to aggravate it by even brushing his arm.

Merlin blinked his eyes open again, staring at me through dazed pupils. "Gwen?"

I smiled at him though I'm sure it sure faded. "Merlin, listen to me. You've got a concussion. We need you to stay awake."

But my plea did not reach his ears because a moment later he was nodding off on Arthur's shoulder. I shot my husband a desperate look as I tried to shake him awake once more with no avail. Arthur squared his jaw and in those moments King Arthur appeared and Arthur Pendragon, scared for his friend, vanished.

"Merlin, I am ordering you to stay awake or so God help me you'll polish the knights armors for months to come-"

"Not fair…" came Merlin's hoarse voice as he lifted his head from Arthur's shoulder to shot him the best imitation of an indignant look. "You get to do it _daily _and I get punished f'r sleeping after I'm inj'red?"

I let out a gasp of relief and Arthur's face lit up with an affectionate smile. "Yeah, that's how things work I'm afraid." He said lightly, starting to stand and wrapping one arm around Merlin's waist to keep him upright. "I need you to keep listening to my voice although I know its annoying…" his gaze softened and became almost apologetic as Merlin winced and tried to grab his head. "Can you do that?"

I almost grabbed Merlin's broken arm when he swayed dangerously before whispering "Prat. What else is n-new?"

My heart was making its way up my throat again by the time Arthur decided Merlin was stable enough to take little steps towards the door. The hold he had on Merlin's uninjured hand was so tight that I could see his knuckles turning white.

"Did you see Kent?" Merlin mumbled after Arthur encouraged him to talk with a low, incessant chatter. "I think I broke his…nose." he flinched and his eyelids dropped dangerously but thankfully Arthur tightened his hold. "You said I was useless…"

"Yeah, you're _still _a girl Merlin." My husband muttered as a matter of fact, shaking his head before looking into my eyes. "Guinevere, could you please go find out what's taking them this long? There _must _be a court physician in this damn building!"

Taking a deep breath and trying to stop the stinging in my eyes, I marched out of the room in front of Arthur, making my way through the unknown castle as I tried to calm down myself. My pulse was racing with panic and I'd seen Gaius treat injuries like Merlin's before….my friend was, even if he did not show it, suffering greatly.

The thought made me shudder. And then, the knowledge of_ why_ Merlin had done it, why he'd sustained such horrible injuries, made my heart clench in my chest. It was for me, so that I could escape….and for Arthur.

Finally, I spotted a guard standing in a lone corridor and the relief in my face must've been enormous because he blinked at me, confused.

"My Lady." The man said, bowing.

"We have an injured man and we need a physician immediately."

"We don't have a physician in the court." He didn't even flinch.

For a few moments I only stared at him, my mouth slightly opened and I am sure the man thought I was going to snap at him. But before I could utter a word Arthur was _there_.

And he was livid.

The words could barely be understood as they were hissed through his clenched teeth. "Then you go and find one this _instant_! What are you waiting for? GO!"

The guard's eyes widened and he scurried off with a quick bow at the same time I held back my growling King.

"Arthur, stop it!" I chided gently, scrutinizing his livid face. "Where's Merlin?"

"The other spare room right beside ours." He answered, taking deep breaths as he squeezed my hand in his. "I figured I'd have him where I can watch him at all times- don't look at me like that!" I raised an eyebrow as a slow but bitter smile crept into my face. "Well, he's_ my_ servant! I need to keep an eye on him…."

I pressed a kiss to his forehead. "I know you're worried about him, sweetheart. It is alright to let your emotions show."

Arthur's face fell and the mask broke before my eyes. He placed a hand above his eyes, massaging the arch of his blond brows slowly.

"It's my fault, Gwen." He said softly. His hand fell limply by his side and his eyes looked into mine, wide and guilt-filled. "I asked him to look out for you and he told me he'd protect you as he's always protected me. I laughed it off but…" his eyes darkened. "I didn't know he would do_ this_…"

"Don't blame yourself Arthur." Letting my fingers wrap tightly around his I pulled him towards the general direction of the guest chambers. "I've seen Gaius treat wounds before, maybe I can…"

"We'll do what we can for him." Arthur said firmly though his eyes were strangely gentle. "Come on."

If I had thought Merlin looked in bad shape back at our room, well, now he was just a pitiful sight. Arthur helped me sit by him, and for a moment I remembered those nights sitting by Uther's bedside, tending to his deliriums. I glanced up at Arthur from where he'd placed his hands on my shoulders in silent comfort to find his eyes heavy with sorrow and sharp with anger.

"We need to bandage his ribs." I admitted quietly after a few moments. Arthur squeezed my shoulders before he unfastened his red cloak and, without hesitation, began ripping it to medium sized shreds. I watched him silently. The concentration on his face wasn't like anything I'd ever seen before, just pure dedication on each line that made up his features.

All of the shock I'd felt in such little time started to wear out and by then I could already think with more clarity. I looked down at Arthur, who was still ripping the red material without a hint of remorse and remembered the suspicions I'd dismissed so carelessly when we first arrived. Placing a hand on his shoulder, I waited for Arthur to look at me. It took time, but when he finally did I could see he already knew what I was going to say.

"I know you kept a secret from me Arthur…." I said and smiled at his obvious discomfort. "I'm not mad, sweetie….but I would like to know."

His hands became fists between the torn fabrics as he pursed his lips. Waves of emotion seemed to hit him before he finally gave in and hunched his shoulders.

"Alright, Guinevere." He conceded. "It's true. I just hoped I was wrong but obviously it did not work." He stole a glance at Merlin before looking at me again. "When I first came here I met Kent. We were of the same age, both of us nobles with single fathers and starting our swordplay lessons. However, he was a bitter boy, always refusing to take part on games and insisting on how stupid and boring everything was. From what I understood, Kent was always the black sheep of the family, even if he was the only son." His face darkened a bit as I placed my hand on his.

"I knew he had a deep prejudice against people of lower status, Gwen, but at that time it just wasn't… _uncommon_ for me. When we saw each other again, by the time I was ten years old, it had grown deeper than what I ever cared to find out. And the worse is….I think it was partly my fault."

He met my narrowed eyes with a half-smile before continuing. "I was a talented boy, Guinevere. To me, swordplay and horse riding were second nature. But Kent…well, he was not so lucky. He lost the respect of his teachers with his tantrums and the respect of his father with his impulsiveness-"

"Hold on, Arthur." I said, holding up a hand. "How do you know that?"

A mischievous but bitter smile grew on his face, one that looked awfully similar to the one he'd wore before charging against the enemy in numerous battles.

"My father and Lord Thomas…I happened to hear them speak one day. It's not like it was intentional!" he added defensively as my lips pursed. "It just happened!"

"They were talking about us…well, about me more specifically. You'd be surprised of how much a ten year old can retain when he's bored. Father was telling him about my lessons and so on and in turn Lord Thomas was talking about Kent. He was worried his son was being too hard on the servitude, and blamed it on the ill-conceived notion of superiority. Now I think I understand what he meant. Kent has nothing more than his status to raise him higher than others, since he possesses no talent or charisma whatsoever. I'm pretty sure his people loathe him." At this he chuckled darkly. "Well, of_ course _they do. You saw how quickly they tied him up, without question…"

"This does not explain why he would do something like this Arthur…" I said quietly, looking up at his sky blue eyes as he placed one of the homemade bandaged on my hands. "One thing is to be resentful and other…." I trailed off but the sudden glint on Arthur's eyes told me he knew what I meant. It did not explain how he could've been so cruel to our Merlin.

"The only way he can feel superior is by putting those he thinks lowly down, Gwen." Arthur said softly. "You were a servant and now you are his_ Queen_. That threatened his false sense of hierarchy like nothing you can ever imagine. I've seen nobles act like this before but never to this extremes…"

I felt disapproval bubble inside me as Arthur let out a humorless laugh.

"You could've warned him, at least…"

Arthur stopped laughing immediately and looked at me with pained eyes. "And you think I didn't? I told the idiot to be safe and keep his distance but to keep an eye on you and he-"

"He launched himself at Kent at the first wisp of trouble." I finished for him, shaking my head as new tears stung my eyes. "Oh, Arthur…didn't you know Merlin would do _anything_ for you?"

The look in his eyes at the moment told me he did. He knew. He just chose not to believe it yet.

"I certainly didn't mean this!" Arthur half-exclaimed, waving his hands towards Merlin. "I just wanted him to have a peeled eye not to get beaten to death, the idiot!"

I closed my eyes for a moment. The situation was reminding me of the thorn in my heart that never seemed to vanish. Of Lancelot and his promise, the promise that had driven him to sacrificing his life…

"You should have never underestimated him, Arthur." I said. My voice was laced with sadness as the memory of Lancelot hit me. "You never know what your words can cause."

Arthur tensed but said nothing. Instead, he grabbed the torn cloth from my hands and dabbed it into a bowl of water by the bedside, placing it gently on the open skin that ran up Merlin's arm.

Merlin hissed in pain and I hurried up to place a soothing hand on his brow, noticing in dismay that he was still hot to the touch.

"He's running a fever." I informed my husband. Arthur's Adam apple bobbed up and down as he shook his head and rubbed a hand through his eyes. "What's taking them so long?"

As those words left my mouth, however, the door opened and the guard he'd yelled at stood at the doorframe, peering in nervously with a woman by his side. I sat up straighter as she came towards us, a rather thin and hunched little lady, very elderly. Her blue eyes flickered from me to Arthur in surprise before my husband stood up and said with immense disbelief.

"Its _you_."

Her eyes opened even more as she raised one wrinkled, trembling hand to point at Arthur's face. "And it is you, Arthur Pendragon." she breathed.

I moved my gaze from her to Arthur, trying to piece the puzzle together but failing nonetheless. "You know each other?"

"She gave us shelter once." Arthur replied, squeezing my hand in his. But his eyes never left the woman, following her as if he still couldn't believe she was there. Guiding her cane towards us, she halted when she caught sight of Merlin.

Her eyes became enormous, striking blue. And then she was bending over Merlin with the care of a mother as Arthur and I exchanged confused glances.

She straightened a few moments later, using her cane to rotate towards us. "Three broken ribs, a broken right arm, a concussion, numerous cuts and infection already setting in. What _happened,_ Arthur Pendragon?"

"Kent happened." Arthur spat out, crossing his arms across his chest and looking back at the woman's strangely fiery eyes. "He did this to Merlin."

"I'm sorry." I said, feeling very much as if I was interrupting a silent communication between them, whose link was Merlin himself. "… but…who _are you_?"

She turned towards me and I was struck by how old and fragile she seemed. Huddled over with her brown cloak over her thin, hunchbacked shoulders she looked as if a breath of mine could take her away. However, her eyes were warm and inviting, sparkling with strange power.

"My name is Bryony, like the flower." She said, smiling a little. "I specialize in healing arts though sometimes they call me from my hut for very special cases…" her gaze focused on Arthur, who had resumed watching Merlin with unblinking eyes. "And I can see_ this_ is a special case."

Her words left me stunned for a little while and I tried to understand what she meant. And the way he looked at Arthur _and_ Merlin made something light up inside, a sudden _aha!_ I could not place. Still can't place.

"Look, can you do something for him?" Arthur said. His elbows hit the mattress as he rubbed a hand through his golden hair. "Anything?"

Bryony looked at him through those blue eyes, as if she could see something Arthur didn't. When she spoke, her words were measured.

"I can bandage those ribs and medicate the cuts with a little bit of yarrow and mint but the concussion will take a while. Has he thrown up?"

I shook my head, noticing the way Arthur paled at the prospect. "Not at all, but he looked a little disoriented a few hours ago although he recognized Arthur, isn't that right, love?"

Arthur didn't answer; he was back at staring at Merlin with a hand upon his mouth as the silver rings in his hand left marks upon his skin.

"Of _course _he did." Bryony murmured faintly, and I am sure I'm the only one who heard it since Arthur did not even raised his gaze.

"You are a healer…" Arthur said suddenly, something close to understanding dawning on his eyes. Finally, he looked upwards towards the old lady, who was expertly applying a white paste on Merlin's cuts. "When you took us in….all those months ago…"

Bryony glanced up for the quickest of moments and I frowned at the slightly exasperated look that crossed her tender face. "You are correct, Arthur Pendragon." She murmured swiftly. "A spear had impaled your lungs when Merlin brought you into my home."

I felt my pulse race at once. _"What?" _

"But Merlin told me…" Arthur stuttered, locking his eyes with mine before looking down at my best friend-our best friend pale face. "He told me I was knocked unconscious-"

"You were bleeding out faster than anyone I'd ever seen before." Bryony said, not looking up. "Merlin asked me to heal you. Would you help me take his shirt off, sire? I need to steady his ribs as quickly as possible to prevent any damage in his lungs."

Arthur, his eyes impossibly wide and blue, got up and I quickly went by Merlin's other side, starting to slide out the blue fabric out of him. I winced at the recently medicated cuts in his arms….that was, until I caught sight of a big, stark white scar on his shoulder.

I froze and saw, by the corner of my eye, that Arthur had done the same. I still believe that in those moments my heart expanded to impossible lengths as I dragged my eyes from Merlin's pale skin and looked into Arthur's. He looked back. And he was, if nothing else petrified.

A few moments later all care was gone from his actions and Arthur began taking Merlin's worn shirt off more quickly that what I would've thought possible as I stood back, bringing a hand towards my heart.

When we finally had full sight of Merlin's bare torso….

I don't even know what to say _now_.

The first thing my eyes, I believe as wide as they can get, caught sight of, was a large burn mark on his chest, about the size of a sigil. The scarred skin around it was whiter than the bed sheets, contrasting against his pale skin in a way I would've thought unbearable if I was not seeing it at the moment.

Then, there came the rest of him. _Even more_! On his arms, across his chest, going in zig zag around the angry bruises on his ribs….

"…My God."

As Arthur stumbled back and placed his fist over his mouth, the words left my lips once again.

"_My God_."

I don't know how much time we stood there, speechless. Bryony didn't falter once as she worked, that is, until she caught sight of the burn in the middle of Merlin's chest. Then, she too, rocked backwards, as if startled by something even though I was sure she'd seen her fair amount of injuries. But there was something in this one that…amazed her.

She shook her white haired head, bringing a trembling hand to her lips. "That's impossible…."

To our complete horror Merlin began to stir. He groaned as his eyelids trembled and eventually opened revealing two wide, glazed dark blue eyes.

I believe the first thing he saw was Arthur. Arthur, who since his initial reaction, had approached to look carefully at the scar I'd seen first. The one that ran through his shoulder blade as a misplaced spider web.

"Arthur?" Merlin whispered. When no one answered he cleared his throat and tried again. "Arthur, what is it?"

Arthur didn't answer as his gaze, as well as mine, was still completely entranced by the mismatched lines scarring Merlin's smooth skin. I think it was then when I felt tears slide down my cheeks and the sobs started.

Still not uttering a word Bryony came by my side, placing a hand on my shoulder and obliging me to take a step backwards. Not knowing why I obeyed at the same time that Arthur brushed his fingers across Merlin's shoulder.

"Stop it!" my friend said as he let out a gasped chuckle. "That _tickles_!"

As the words left his mouth I found myself smiling through my shock. Trust it to Merlin to say something so…._Merlinesque_ in a time like this. Of course, I noticed he still hadn't realized his shirt was off and Arthur's eyes were starting to cloud with stormy anger.

But then, understanding dawned upon him and he became even paler, if that was even possible. His hand shot up to his throat, probably expecting to finger the red neckerchief he was wearing a few hours ago.

"Looking for this, Merlin?" Arthur said conversationally, holding the piece of clothing in his hand. But I recognized in the softness of his voice the steely edge of complete and utter fury that was threatening to spill. "We had to take it off to treat your injuries. _Oh_, you may notice your shirt is gone as well."

A look of resignation and certain defiance settled on Merlin's pale face as he raised his head lightly to stare at his exposed chest. "Oh, great." He groaned, letting his head fall backwards again.

"Merlin…" I approached him slowly, never minding Bryony's hand on my shoulder. This was my truest friend, the most selfless man I'd ever met….and he'd never told me. He'd _never_ told me.

I couldn't help but wonder for a short moments if it had been Arthur. Had he been too rash in training, had he forced Merlin too hard, demanded too much? Could his senseless jabs and stupid goblet throwing cause such a vast extent of injuries?

But Arthur….I saw his face and it was so utterly full of raw concern that I couldn't phantom him doing anything purposely. I'm sure if he'd known….

"_Oh, Merlin_, what happened?"

He turned his eyes towards me and there was a definite blush growing on his cheeks as he said with a hoarse whisper. "What do you mean?"

"What Guinevere means, _Mer_lin, is why the hell do you look like if a wild animal _mauled you_!"

Merlin looked up at the ceiling and blinked.

"Not an animal." He whispered so quietly that I had to lean closer to hear him_. "Destiny."_

I frowned at the word but before I could make any assumptions Arthur's voice, slightly hysterical, rose again. "And why on earth did you do something so utterly stupid you complete _moron_!"

Merlin dragged his gaze from me towards Arthur, eyes fervent and sincere. "I told you I would _protect _her, didn't I? And she's alright…what are you grumbling about now?"

The anger on Arthur's face vanished as quickly as it came as he looked downwards. But as he opened his mouth to say something Merlin jostled his arm and let out a pain filled whimper.

I was reaching to steady it when Bryony walked past me and wrapped her wrinkled hands around it, as carefully as if she was treating a newborn child.

"It's you…" Merlin whispered as his gaze focused on the tender eyes of the healer.

"It is me." She whispered back and I could see a smile growing in her wrinkled lips. "Long time no see, hmm?"

Merlin closed his eyes. "Yeah…" he agreed.

I would lie if I'd said I was free from resentment but at those moments I just didn't care. The thought of Merlin suffering as much as the scars suggested left me with a nauseous feeling, a sense of _wrongness _that wouldn't dissipate.

Merlin suffering was wrong. He was the most selfless, kind-hearted person I'd ever met, the bravest and brightest. Merlin did not deserve any of this, he did not deserve being hit by a coward like Kent, he did not deserve having a broken arm or Arthur snapping on him just because he was worried and too proud to admit it. He did _not_-!

Before I knew it I was hugging him fiercely, minding his arm of course, but nevertheless burying my head into his shoulder and wrapping my arms tightly around his thin body.

"Merlin, why would you do such a thing?" I demanded tearfully as I let go of him to stare into his glazed eyes. "He had a weapon Merlin! He could've _killed_ you!"

"He didn't Gwen." Merlin's hoarse voice answered calmly, directing me a tired smile. "Besides, I promised Arthur…"

"I never meant '_punch a man three sizes bigger than you in the gut Merlin, oh and while you're at it let him beat you up and nearly kill you!_'" Arthur bellowed.

I shot him a glance but he was too furious to notice. His eyes were locked with Merlin's as my friend stared back with nothing more than a flinch.

"I told you I would protect her like _I've protected you_." Merlin whispered solemnly. Through the prickle in my eyes I saw Bryony let her head down. "I wasn't lying Arthur…after all, watching out for you is who I am."

I found myself remembering times in which Merlin had put Arthur above everything and everyone, all those times I'd watched with amused eyes as they argued and bickered like children, those countless time Merlin had put his blind fate in Arthur, even when he was not there…

Those words reached my heart but when my gaze flickered to Arthur and I saw the emotion swirling on his eyes I knew they'd reached something more profound in him. His soul.

"The scar on your shoulder." Arthur said softly. "It's a mace, isn't it?"

Merlin sighed as I brushed my fingers through the pale scar, trying not to cause him more pain. "It is, Arthur."

"When we first met…." Arthur trailed off, placing a hand on his hair and closing his eyes for a moment.

Merlin did not, though. He watched Arthur carefully with a spark of curiosity shining in the depths of his dark irises as he answered.

"Yes, Arthur, that's right." He said. His voice as gentle as it could possibly be. "But I don't blame you. So don't be a prat and start feeling guilty."

"Wait…." My hands left Merlin's shoulders as I looked at Arthur, startled. Disbelief hit me. "_You_ did this Arthur?"

"Don't, Gwen." Merlin whispered, directing me a small smile. "Not his fault…."

"We don't know about that." Arthur choked out; his voice equally gentle as he knelt….actually _knelt_ down by Merlin's bedside, placing his chin on his hands. "If what you're saying is true…if you're really as idiotic as to-endanger yourself to _protect me_….I wonder how many of those I caused."

Watching them like that….I've still got that image engraved on my eyes. Arthur looking up with wide, soft and desperate blue eyes and Merlin looking right into them with his own, still glazed but yet so wise and full of affection…

"I am proud of them Arthur." Merlin managed finally. "Each of these scars are injuries I've spared you."

Arthur sucked a breath and I placed a hand over my mouth but before any of us could say a thing Bryony was bending over to bandage Merlin's ribs with the torn pieces of red cloak. Our friend hissed in pain as the makeshift bandages were tightened around his torso, hands gripping uselessly the white sheet below him.

It was then when I witnessed with marveled eyes Arthur sliding his hand in Merlin's, holding it in a death grip. And softness warmed my heart when Merlin didn't even questioned the sudden action but rather increased his hold on Arthur's hand, pressing his lips together when the bandages tightened once more.

Without words, I did the same and felt Merlin's trembling fingers tightening around mine, looking paler by the minute.

Finally, Bryony stopped, taking a step backwards while relying heavily on her cane.

"It's done." She announced gravely.

Arthur didn't let go.

Neither did I.

"I do not believe a lung is punctured." Bryony continued softly. "And his ribs should heal well enough. However…"

She let out a small sigh as she reached for Merlin's bleeding arm and touched it gently. Our friend let out a heart wrenching scream, the pressure on my hand increasing tenfold as he did so and I could only sob in despair at feeling him in such blinding _torment_…

But Arthur's face…it looked as if he was suffering the same agony _with_ him. His eyes were two bright points of pain staring directly at Merlin's face, narrowing when he let out an anguish plea. "_Stop it!_ Don't you see it's hurting him?"

Bryony did, and I didn't miss she eyed Arthur with a certain interest in those soft eyes. She turned towards him, pointing at Merlin with a trembling hand. "That's exactly what it is, King Arthur. I'm afraid your servant has a damaged nerve on his arm."

Arthur looked up sharply. "What the hell does that mean?"

"I may lose all use of my arm, eventually…" Merlin's tired voice said from the bed, he'd closed his eyes. "Isn't that right, Bryony?."

The old Lady nodded softly. "I'm afraid it is-" I thought I'd heard her saying another word before his name but it must've been the worry. "- _Em_-Merlin."

My husband went pale. "_What!_ That can't happen!"

"There must be something you can do!" I exclaimed, squeezing Merlin's hand tightly between mine. Even now, the prospect of a crippled Merlin sends shivers down my spine. How could that bright, cheerful amazing man be forever limited by an injury that had been meant for me? It worried me over all Arthur's reaction. How would he cope without Merlin as his manservant?

How could this even _happen?_

Merlin closed his eyes, maybe to shut away the pain or maybe to avoid looking at our desperate faces. I tightened my hold on his hand as I felt unwilling tears sliding down my cheeks. "It can't happen…." I whispered. "There has to be a way…"

"There is." The healer said suddenly, looking straight into Arthur's eyes as she spoke. "I can reverse the damage….with magic."

Arthur's eyes locked with mine over Merlin's hand.

And I looked back, for once finding complete desolation in his eyes.

* * *

Did I just wrote a scar reveal? Wow, didn't see that coming.

Yep! See you soon for the third part. :)

Hugs, Ocean.


	8. Family

*peeks timidly.* Heh...*shields herself.*

No, I'm not that cowardly. But it is with a heavy heart that I admit my life is going CRAZY!. :D

Yep, you guys, my life is hectic. But never fear! I'm still working my way ( at a snail's pace...,) through the awesomeness that is Merlin and this little stories that help manage my withdrawal.

So, this is not the continuation of 'Going Under,' and yes, 'Going Under' will be continued in the near future but I needed to let you know that I'm still alive and kicking even if my senior year threatens with devouring my life and leaving me dry so I took the time to type this down, albeit really quickly, and share it with my fellow Merlinians. :)

This is probably one of my personal favorites * sheepish grin.* I've been wanting to do this one for a while now.

ON WITH THE FLUFF!

* * *

**Family.**

* * *

"First time, eh?"

The man that stood across me, tall, lean and fidgeting impatiently with a deep blue neckerchief attached to his neck, blinked his eyes at me.

"Excuse me?"

"It isn't as bad as it looks, lad." I said, smiling. I couldn't help but feel sympathetic towards this young man. He looked ready to dart out of the room.

For a few seconds he stared at me and then he frowned before letting out a short laugh. "Me? Oh, no, no, no you've got this wrong. That's not my- I mean, that's my friend in there."

It was interesting, then, how his ashen face was bright only because his eyes glimmered with excitement. He drummed his fingers down on his knees as he shot furtive looks to the door.

Well, he looked like a prospective father to me.

As if to prove my point a shriek cut through the air and the man sat straighter, every bone in his lean body stretching until he resembled a spooked rabbit. Yes, he was as scared as I was when Ellen gave birth to my first son. The poor man needed a distraction, quickly.

"Your friend?" I asked.

"Two of them, actually." the man said, standing up again and beginning to do small circles on the same place- he was definitely bordering anxiety- "What about you?" he nodded towards the other room. "Your words must come from experience."

"Third grandson." I admitted, puffing my chest. Again, the happiness of being a grandfather for the third time made me feel giddy. "Alice has delivered them all. Thank the gods for small graces."

The illusion of a calm atmosphere stayed there for a while as we eyed each other. I could tell he was grateful for my weak attempt at a distraction; those eyes seemed to look right through me.

Then, things happened simultaneously. A strangled, _'Dear God!' _came from the closed door which was- quite suddenly- closed no more but open wide as the healer, Alice, came out of it with a frown on her face.

And practically dragging a man behind her.

"Merlin!" she called. My companion snapped his head upwards (He'd been yanking his black hair for the last minute or so.) and stared at her as all the color drained from his cheeks.

Then… he _grinned._

"_He didn't_-"he began with that mischievous, somehow fond smile, still on his face.

Alice dumped unceremoniously the dead weight of the man in my companion- Merlin's- arms. She wiped sweat from her brow. "Oh, _he did_. I was expecting it though. He began hyperventilating a few minutes ago."

Merlin shook his head fondly and, as I stared, he awkwardly began propping the man on the side of the wall. The man, a broad shouldered blond knight - if the unsheathed sword was anything to go by,- said something similar to: "_uugghhhh..._.."

Merlin snickered. "Prat." he said simply.

"Quite stubborn too." Alice said. Then, she smiled. "I believe Gaius slipped something in his wine a few hours ago. Remind him that I told him so when he's aware, alright?"

"_Ughh._..." the man groaned.

The glint in Merlin's eyes was enough of an answer, I think. But then his face became deeply concerned. "How's Gwen?"

"She's doing great. The labor is taking more time than we expected but it's almost over." Alice patted Merlin's cheek before rushing in again, leaving him with the difficult task of supporting that man's weight all on his own.

I couldn't help but snigger when Merlin muttered with a cheery accent. "Ah, Gaius, always with perfect timing...I guess he noticed you are outstandingly sleep deprived..._.'_ But when his perceptive eyes flickered I covered it with a cough.

"First time for him, I guess?" I asked.

Merlin looked up at me from his place on the floor, shifting so that his friend's head was resting on his shoulder. "It's rather obvious, isn't it? It is his fault, though. Stubborn dollop head."

I chuckled at the word- I still have no idea what it means and I have no intentions of finding out.- and Merlin let his head fall back on the wall as he closed his eyes. "It's been a long day." He said, and yawned.

It had been a long day for me too. My daughter was having her firstborn and the labor had dragged on for two hours now. I was feeling rather tired myself.

"We've been here since last night," said Merlin suddenly as he yawned again. I noticed, for the first time, that there were dark circles under his eyes. "Arthur was terrified, although he'd never admit it." After a pause he said. "I was terrified myself."

Poor lad. Certainly, he looked exhausted.

"It's understandable." I said and he blinked towards me. I allowed myself a small smile. "A baby is a responsibility clearly neither of you has_ ever_ experienced. It can be overwhelming. But, believe me, it's worth it."

Merlin, picking his head up to look at me, nodded. "_I've_ never doubted that."

I got his hint at one. Resting my eyes on the blond man, who hadn't moved, I pointed at him with my chin. "But he has?"

"No, it's not like that." Merlin said, looking thoughtful. "He doubts himself." he smiled when the man groaned, clearly coming around. "I just wish that he would see what_ I_ see in him. He can be such a blockhead sometimes."

It was not unnatural for first time fathers to question their ability as head of the family, and I'd only seen it too many times, beginning with myself. So I just nodded and, in all seriousness, marveled at Merlin's choice of words.

"...What_ you_ see in him?"

Unperturbed, as if the question had been answered a million times before, Merlin said. "Even if he _is_ a prat he...he has a heart of gold. That's what makes him such a great ruler. His love and devotion towards his people."

I have to confess, I was taken aback. My eyes must've been bugging out of my sockets because Merlin let out a quiet laugh. "Ah, _yes_. The man drooling on my shoulder is Arthur Pendragon. He's not that impressive after all, huh?"

I could barely believe my eyes. (Which are quite deceitful on their own.) This was Arthur Pendragon, King of all Albion, a man that was regarded with utmost fear and respect by every single soul that I'd ever encountered, a man that had slain the Saxons within _hours_, a man who, with a word, could make an entire court submit.

He looked like a seasoned warrior, overly tired and fast asleep on this man- this Merlin's- shoulder.

"It's anticlimactic, isn't it?" said Merlin mirthfully.

I am certainly too old for surprises of this type and that's why, when everything clicked, I jumped out of my seat._ "You're The Emrys!"_

Arthur Pendragon groaned again as my exclamation reached his ears and Merlin (my god,_ the Emrys!_) performed an spectacular leap which resulted in King Arthur's head sliding out of his shoulder.

"Shh, you'll wake him up!"

But the damage was done. With bleary eyes, Arthur Pendragon sluggishly cuffed Merlin's ear. "You do that well enough on your own, you idiot!"

Merlin's grin broadened as Arthur Pendragon's eyes became alert and he propped himself up to a sitting position, rubbing a hand across his face. "Ugh...what happened?"

"You were knocked out by a bear- faced monster."

I raised my eyebrows and Arthur Pendragon groaned. "Really..._again_?"

"No, Arthur." Merlin was clearly trying to repress a huge, impish grin as he talked though he didn't quite managed it. "You _fainted_ at your child's delivery."

There was silence for a few seconds, seconds in which King Arthur's face undertook the most- I have to say it- hilarious changes as different emotions fleetingly crossed his eyes. There was disbelief, anger, annoyance and finally...pure _terror_.

"Oh God!" he jumped to his feet while Merlin grinned up at him. "_Guinevere!_"

Merlin climbed to his feet too, placing a hand on King Arthur's shoulder when the man's breathing became swifter and his hands began clenching uselessly.

"Arthur, you are clearly not allowed in there anymore so you'd do everyone a favor by sitting down-"

"_Mer_lin, shut up. And, just so you know, I _do not_ faint. I just...collapse valiantly."

Merlin rolled his eyes though he said patiently, "Whatever you say. Now, _please_ sit down? You look green and up until now I thought Gaius' books were exaggerating..."

"Maybe turning me into a frog would be befitting." Arthur huffed, apparently intending to make his way around Merlin and into the delivery room.

I was completely taken aback by the...conversation, but found myself highly amused.

"Gwen's rather busy now so I would prefer not to." Merlin answered, not missing a beat. He frowned a moment later. "Arthur, you need to rest. You've been awake since five in the morning_ yesterday._.."

"Yeah, and who's fault is that, Merlin?" King Arthur huffed, still trying to wrestle his arm out of Merlin's long fingers. "besides, I don't see you getting any sleep."

Merlin shrugged his shoulders. "How can I sleep when I have to hear your incessant pacing?" his face became thoughtful, "have you noticed that when you are worried you tend to pace and mutter nonsense?" *

"Do I _look_ like I care?"

Merlin just smiled broadly.

To my surprise and, ( yes I will admit it.) amusement, King Arthur began pacing right then and there, running his fingers through his blond hair. "Shouldn't it be over already?"

I saw Merlin yawning openly before replying. "Arthur, these things take time..."

"Even _you_ could've polished my armor at least twice by this time and that's saying something!"

"Arthur..."

"Maybe even sharpened Excalibur..."

"Arthur..."

Suddenly King Arthur slumped against the wall by Merlin's side, sliding to the floor. He stared at his boots as he finally admitted, softly. "I don't think I'm ready for this Merlin."

My heart went out for the young man. He looked truly distressed and I wondered if I should try to provide some comfort but Merlin was kneeling by his side, placing a hand on Arthur's shoulder, as the thought crossed my mind.

"We've been through this, Arthur." said Merlin, and I saw something deep and intangible shine in his eyes. "It is not about being ready. The baby is almost here and _needs you._ You are his father. You were not ready to be king when Uther died and yet you became the greatest king this land had ever known. You came through when your people suffered. You, and only you, offered your life to save that of your people. You are ready, Arthur. You've always been."

"Not without you." King Arthur said quietly.

I suddenly felt as if I was intruding on something sacred and did my best to concentrate all my senses on the tidy floor.

But that did not stop me from hearing Merlin's voice, heavy with emotion, answer. "You don't have to, old friend. I am here for you. I always am."

"I know." came Arthur Pendragon's voice, thick with something I couldn't identify. "I've always known."

* * *

Time passed. On the 10 and some births I've attended in my lifetime I've grown accustomed to it. There are a number of things I do to pass the time, like counting the cracks on the ceiling or focusing my attention on the various, interesting looking artifacts Alice always had in store.

However, for Arthur and Merlin, distraction came in the form of a much needed nap.

The exhaustion had finally kicked in after another 15 minutes of bickering (and hyperventilating on King Arthur's part.) Yawning, both men settled on the wall, purposely looking ahead and trying to ignore their drooping eyelids. Like my boys when they were too stubborn to fall asleep, they fought it until the last second. And now I was looking at King Arthur snoring softly on Merlin's shoulder as the man himself slept peacefully with his head propped against the wall. I thought I'd never seen something so strange and..._humbling_. This two men -the most powerful men in all of Albion- when sleeping, looked as innocent as the baby they were waiting for.

Ellen came during my silent vigil and she sat with me, listening attentively to what had happened that day. She's always been the maternal type so, naturally, upon hearing the misadventures of the two slumbering men before us, there was a blanket carefully tucked around their shoulders before I could say, _'Camelot.'_

"Now, dear." Ellen said, helping me to my feet as I took support on my cane. "Would you like to meet your grandson?"

I nodded and my heart thumped madly against my chest. And as I began walking away the door of the delivery room slowly opened and good old Gaius walked out.

He smiled fondly at the scene before his eyes and knelt, gently shaking King Arthur's shoulder. When the man stirred, Gaius said, "Arthur, it's time."

King Arthur was up in a heartbeat and both Ellen and I- she'd turned around as soon as she heard the door swing- repressed a giggle when Merlin banged his head on the wall as King Arthur unceremoniously kicked his leg to wake him up. The Emrys was up before he knew what was going on, dragged by the elbow by a squirming Arthur Pendragon, who was now rubbing a hand through his face and sighing deeply.

"Arthur..." Gaius whispered, placing a hand on the King's shoulder. _"You're a father."_

Both Ellen and I had huge grins on our faces as Arthur Pendragon's expression became one of heavenly joy. Merlin, by his side, smiled almost beatifically.

"Really, Gaius?" King Arthur whispered, his voice still sounding unsure. His eyes darted towards the open door where a small wail was beginning to increase in pitch. "Is this really happening?"

"We have a little prince." Gaius said, smiling and drying a tear from his eye. "Would you like to see him?"

King Arthur nodded mutely and, with a gentle shove from Merlin and a flash of his brilliant smile, he advanced towards the room. Before going in, though, followed by Gaius, he looked back.

And I remember even now, the small nod Merlin gave his King, his shinning eyes, his quiet "_Go._"

And King Arthur nodded back, smiled, and entered the room to meet his son.

.

.

.

"Look at him, dear." Ellen whispered to me with awe on her eyes. "He's crying."

It was true, Merlin was wiping a hand through his eyes though his smile only increased when he took a look at the tears that were covering his palm. He shook his head and let out a shaky guffaw.

Then, the pandemonium. King Arthur's ecstatic laugh came from the room and the next thing any of us saw was a flash of red sprinting towards an alarmed Merlin. The flash of red and gold ( which ended being King Arthur.) took him firmly by the shoulders and enveloped the man in a firm embrace as the slightly hysterical laughter still poured from his mouth.

"Merlin, I have a son! I have a son Merlin!"

Merlin could only manage to hug his King back for less than a second before said monarch was pulling back and began to practically drag him towards the room, rambling something about Guinevere's eyes...

Almost jumping in his happiness, King Arthur darted towards the sound of his son crying again and Merlin, with a chuckle and a fond smile, followed. But as he made his way towards his friends one of Alice's apprentices placed a hand across Merlin's lean chest.

"I'm sorry," the apprentice said. "family only."

I was outraged. And I saw Merlin frown with a knot on my chest.

"But I..."

"Are you related to the royal family?" the apprentice asked, looking at Merlin from below his bushy eyebrows.

Merlin smiled. "No, but I..."

"Then I cannot let you in. I'm sorry. One has to enforce the rules."

"He doesn't sound sorry at all." Ellen whispered by my side.

I nodded, still feeling my stomach twist. For once, Merlin seemed at loss for words. He opened his mouth...and then closed it again.

But then, thankfully, Arthur Pendragon decided to make his appearance, still smiling brightly. "_Merl_in, why are you taking so long...?"

He stopped, frowning at the man who still had a hand on Merlin's arm, as if to enforce his authority.

"What do you think you are doing?" asked King Arthur, crossing his arms across his chest. The man turned, looked not the least bit afraid under King Arthur's stare, and said simply:

"Only family is allowed, My Lord."

King Arthur locked his eyes with Merlin for the briefest of moments before advancing towards his friend and placing one arm resolutely around Merlin's shoulders.

"You see," said King Arthur. "Merlin _is_ family."

I felt warmth sweep through my heart and Ellen, by my side, cooed softly. The apprentice looked shocked but then he backed down and bowed his head as the High King - still with his arm around Merlin's lean shoulders- and his warlock- sporting a smile brighter than the sun- went into the room.

Ellen and I smiled when we heard the gentle voice of our Queen say, "Merlin, come meet our little prince."

And then, the awed, teary voice of The Emrys said, "He's beautiful."

Ellen shook her head and helped me guide my cane towards the other delivery room but as we shuffled through the hallways I managed to take another look back and saw -the door, for my blessing, was opened a crack- King Arthur, Merlin, Alice and the physician, Gaius, all staring down at a small bundle in Queen Guinevere's arms. She was radiant, shining with joy.

"Merlin, would you like to be his godfather?"

Merlin's blue eyes widened as he took in the request coming from Queen Guinevere's lips. He looked around, as if expecting some other Merlin to appear, and then his gaze settled on Arthur, who beamed.

"You want me to be his godfather?" Merlin asked and I detected a small break in his voice. Queen Guinevere nodded but it was King Arthur who spoke.

"We couldn't find someone more fitting than you, Merlin." he said, punching his friend's wiry arm though affection as deep as the seas shone in his eyes. "Even Elyan agreed."

"I...I would be honored." Merlin whispered quietly and a slow tear descended down his cheek. The brightest smile illuminated his face, then. "What's his name?"

"If it was a girl we were thinking of Ygraine or Isobel...but if it was a boy..." King Arthur trailed off.

"Arthur doesn't want to name him Uther neither do I Tom." Our gentle Queen finished with a small smile. "I guess this duty falls now to his Godfather."

Merlin stared at the beaming faces of his King and Queen for a while before closing his eyes and placing a hand on the little one's forehead. He muttered some words in a language I could not understand and then opened his eyes, as deep and as blue as King Arthur's had been before.

"Amhar." Merlin, The Emrys, said, smiling. "I'd like to name him Amhar."

And Amhar, the newborn Prince of Camelot, laughed for the first time and extended his tiny, shaky hands towards his godfather.

* * *

Amhar means, "Legendary Son of Arthur." in Welsh. :D Merlin Season 5 is approaching delightfully quickly, I can almost taste it. I can't wait to see what the writers have in store :) *is excited.*

I love you all, I really do. *hugs everyone.* God bless!

Ocean.

( * I've noticed that Arthur does that whenever his under a stressful situation. :) )


	9. Going Under Part 3

**WARNINGS:** A pathetic attempt at an excuse from Ocean, drama and angst and bromance.

*clears throat.* Ah, yes. Well, this was no writer's block. It was no laziness, either. Despite the slightly crazed pace that my life has taken I could very well find the time to type it down instead of filling my head with drabbles.

No guys, you see, the problem was that I became sick and tired of first person's POV.

Isn't that the most random thing ever? I seriously could not even read it for a while. I suppose it has to do with the entire 'Invisible Man' I had to swallow for AP Lit and a bunch of other works written in first person's POV.

But I could not give up on doing it because I made a promise to myself in the first chapter of this and by God I will fulfill it til the very end! *looks determined.* So, up until my muse for Gwen's POV returned I just entertained myself doing drabbles ( who knew they were so much fun?) and reading Christie's brilliant novels.

Anyway, I am really, really sorry. I never meant for it to take this long and I certainly never meant for it to _be_ this long. Hopefully the length of this chapter and the importance ( as well as the resolution which I practically LOVED writing.) will make up for it. Forgive me?

One thing from 5x07. MERLIN CRYING. ( Colin Morgan you are so beautiful that my heart aches.)

Enjoy the bromance and Gwen/Merlin bonding, angst and drama. I know I enjoyed writing it even if it took a bunch of time to get it out of my system.:D

* * *

**Going Under **

**Part 3_  
_**

* * *

'I couldn't let him die, Bobby. I just couldn't. He's my brother.'

- Dean Winchester.

* * *

Looking back, those moments in which our breath's were held on space felt like millenniums. I saw each twitch of Arthur's face, from incomprehension to complete and total fury before he finally moved, standing up slowly from his place by Merlin's side...

_"Arthur!"_

The next moment he was drawing his blade and placing it at Bryony's neck, watching without mercy as the poor woman took a trembling step backwards, trying to avoid the sharp blade. Merlin and I- one stolen glance at him revealed that his blue eyes, although filled with pain, were completely alert.- were mute for a few more seconds. I still don't know if Arthur actually intended to kill Bryony right then and there but as the muscles in his hand tensed and drew back his sword I thought he would.

"You're a _magic_ user." Arthur spat out venomously.

Bryony didn't answer but the glint in her lively blue eyes was enough to confirm the truth. She _was_…Merlin's benefactor and my husband's unlikely savior was using_ magic._

_"No..."  
_

She looked towards me as I said the word. I believe I've never seen so much sorrow in someone's eyes.

But I couldn't care less, at the time. With Merlin pale and sick and looking at Arthur's tensed back as if he was holding our friend's life in his hands I...I didn't care at all.

Bryony being a magic user or not could come after Merlin was alright.

Staring at Arthur with something akin to reverence Bryony took one step forwards.

"I am." the healer confirmed in a gentle tone, but even so there was such strength in the way she carried herself that I could do nothing but admire her bravery. "Now, if you would _please_ let me-"

She reached for Merlin's injured arm -and my friend did no motion whatsoever to stay away from her touch - but Arthur's hand was suddenly like claws upon hers, grabbing so tightly that I could see his whole arm trembling.

"Don't you _dare."_

My eyes did not deceive me. Until this day I wait for a rage and protectiveness that can match the one he displays in those rare moments when Merlin depends on him fully. None can compare.

"Don't you _dare_." Arthur repeated. There was a hidden threat in his voice that had me shivering. "Don't you dare lay a hand on_ him_. This may not be Camelot but I will not hesitate in running you through if you as much as look towards him."

He forced his way in front of Merlin, dragging me with him and glaring at Bryony with fury in his eyes even though she did not flinch below his stare.

No, she did not flinch nor did she retreat. She just stood there, completely unfazed by Arthur's burning eyes.

"So you'd rather let your servant crippled than let magic touch him, Pendragon?" Bryony asked. Her eyes were no longer as kind although they still held compassion on them but there was...a steely resolve on them that made Arthur's jaw clench and his eyes harden.

Arthur's furious eyes seemed to be blazing when he spat out "Magic has taken _everything_ from me!"

I looked towards Merlin, who was staring at Arthur's back with those blue eyes of his, eyes almost completely veiled by an emotion I could not place. Twisting myself out of Arthur's grasp I ignored his hissed warning as I knelt by my friend's side and placed a hand upon his brow.

"Arthur..."

He did not look at me.

"Arthur, what if it's true?" beneath my hand, Merlin's fever was rising alarmingly and my heart felt as if it was being squeezed painfully as I looked between my husband and the healer. "Please, just let her explain..."

Before I finished, though, Arthur was helping me up, looking into my eyes with desperation as he whispered. "Guinevere, you don't _understand_. I made the mistake of trusting a magic user once and the cost was much too great. If something happens to Merlin..." he trailed off but the haunted gaze he sent to our friend was enough to confirm my thoughts.

And I understood. Because I had lost people at magic's expense too, and I'd seen the destruction it could bring, I'd seen lives destroyed by it's wake and yet...

"Arthur...this is _Merlin._"

What else could I say? What _else_ could be enough?

"Look at him!" I whispered, not caring if my voice broke and my throat convulsed in a strained effort to hold back my tears. "Just look at _him_, Arthur!"

I could see in his eyes that nothing else could've stirred something inside him as that would. Because as we both glanced back at our friend and found his face contorted with obvious, blinding pain- and as Arthur flinched, almost signaling that he could _feel_ it too,- all of his resolve seemed to waver.

However, he shook his head once more. "If something..."

I placed my hand in his, trying to smile.

"Arthur, " I said softly. "I think this is our only hope."

And I knew it to be true but still...Arthur turned away as a skittish horse, ruffling his unruly hair as he glared at Bryony and pointed at her face with his finger. "How can I trust in what you're saying?"

"Your friend never questioned my intentions when you're life was at risk." was Bryony's soft, almost unheard reply. "He just wanted for you to live."

_He wanted for you to live._

I think I understood it faster than Arthur did. From the moment those words echoed in my mind I already knew and I looked into my oldest friend's eyes as I took in what he'd done. For Arthur. "Oh, Merlin..."

I can barely imagine, how it must've been. To make a decision between magic and death...knowing that either of them could take him anyway. I will always be thankful to Merlin...for everything's he's done. In those moments I knew that apart from myself no one would ever go to such extents for my husband. No one ever will.

A heartbeat passed and then Arthur whirled around, looking at Merlin with something undefinable in his eyes. "You let her use_ magic_ on me!"

It broke my heart, the way his voice cracked at the end. It was not an accusation and there was definitely not anger...but just disbelief. Plain and utter disbelief. Disappointment, almost.

Merlin, whose eyes were drifting shut again, opened them wide and said a simple and plain, "Yes."

"...Merlin..."

Arthur was at loss at what to say and so was I. Still, I knelt by Merlin again and placed one hand in his feverish brow, noting grimly that he was growing warmer.

"There wasn't much of a choice, was there?" Merlin whispered finally, after a few short moments of silence in which Arthur and I stared at him with wide eyes. "You were dying Arthur. And if magic was what it took to save you then I would risk it-"

"What if she had killed me, Merlin?" Arthur said, his voice full of despair. He approached the coat and placed a hand upon my shoulder. "Every magic user seeks my destruction-"

"I wouldn't have let it happen, Arthur." was Merlin's soothing answer. He flashed me and Arthur his signature grin and I felt something squeeze my heart.

"But if she had-"

Merlin looked directly into Arthur's eyes as he said with disconcerting honesty, "Then I would've mourned my king and my friend..." I felt tears prickling my eyes and tried to hold back a sob but with no avail. "...But at least I tried everything to keep you alive."

Arthur moved his hand from my shoulder and soon he was kneeling by my side, desperately wringing his fingers together as he looked into Merlin's eyes, which were, by now, locked with his as if all the world had vanished as soon as Arthur had sought his gaze.

"All of this..." he gestured at Merlin's scarred body with his hand, closing his eyes for a brief moment when our friend closed his. "I honestly don't know if you are really this brave or just plain idiotic but there is no way you could've hidden it from me for all this time..." his voice was suddenly very doubtful. "_Is there?_"

There was a glint in Merlin's eyes, one that endured as long as he kept his eyes locked with Arthur but my dear friend shook his head after a few moments and looked down. "You are not the most observant, Arthur..." he said. "and believe me, if I've kept secrets its been only to protect you-"

"Merlin no one should be able to survive after something like _this_!"

I placed my hand on Arthur's shoulder when Merlin visibly flinched away from his stare. I remember I found it rather odd since, of all people, Merlin was the only one that had never cowered before Arthur.

As we shared a glance Arthur seemed to notice it too. His eyes softened as he said, with a kindness that I'd seen him use counted times. " I just want to _understand_..."

With sudden fervent ardor, our Merlin looked directly into my husband's pleading eyes.

"One day you will, Arthur." he whispered solemnly. "One day...I'll tell you. Just not today. Please."

It was the _'please_' what did it. With a rather reluctant nod of his head Arthur sighed and rubbed a hand through his face, blinking repeatedly, as if to gather his thoughts.

"I don't know if I can trust her Merlin..." my husband admitted softly. His blue eyes were wide and full of despair, as a child that was admitting his greatest fear. "Tell me what I can do."

Merlin smiled again, placing his hand above Arthur's as the words slipped softly from his lips. "You can trust _me,_ Arthur."

That simple phrase. I still wonder over the effect it had on my husband. The lines in his brow dissipated, his tight lips relaxed and the desperation in his eyes became only a shimmer of worry. His shoulders were suddenly not as tense and a soft, almost unnoticeable smile, quirked his lips upwards.

"_Trust me_," Merlin repeated, almost breathlessly. And he, too, smiled at my husband's changed demeanor. "You know you can, Arthur."

"I know." Arthur said softly, squeezing that pale hand between his before springing up and marching towards Bryony. I watched him look into her eyes for what felt like years but were actually a few seconds.

"Alright." his voice what soft but I could feel the steely undertone of a threat below them. "Merlin trusts you so do what you can. But I swear that if you harm him-"

"I know what your servant means to you King Arthur." I drew my gaze from Merlin towards Bryony when I heard the unexpected.._.tenderness_ in her voice. "And I would never want to cause you _such pain_."

Her eyes were almost shinning with tears of her own as I watched, and the sincerity in her voice was such that even Arthur was taken aback. Clearing his throat, my husband stepped aside so that Bryony could, quite slowly, guide her cane towards Merlin's injured arm.

"I will do everything in my power to heal him." the woman said, almost solemnly, as she took a seat next to Merlin. "that I promise you."

"Thank you." Arthur said gently and the small crack in his voice had me smiling as I brushed back Merlin's hair. "I appreciate it."

She smiled before looking at Merlin again. My friend's lips quirked upwards and his hazed eyes twinkled in that Merlin-way that I had missed so much over the last horrifying hours.

Then, without any warning, Bryony's gentle eyes became gold.

I shuddered despite myself and grabbed Merlin's hand tightly between my own, feeling him squeezing back trying to provide me with something that could only be reassurance. And the magic-which I could feel emanating from the woman as a river pouring itself into our friend's skinny body- left a midst of gold behind, lingering on the air, before Bryony started chanting.

From the corner of my eye I saw Arthur approach, arms still folded across his chest, gaze still guarded. He settled against the wall right behind Bryony, never once looking away from her, that is, until Merlin searched his eyes with clouded pupils. My husband's gaze did not waver from Merlin's for the rest of the ordeal, golden light flickering lightly on his sky blue irises, reflecting the magic floating around us.

Finally, I felt the pressure in my hand diminishing until Merlin's fingers no longer had any strength. Then, with a lazy smile, my old friend took one last glance at Arthur's eyes before he closed them...

And stopped moving all together.

For the space of a heartbeat nothing happened and then, before I had registered the tight gasp that escaped my throat, I was on my feet, Arthur's panicked gaze was locked with mine and Bryony did not ever flinch when Arthur pushed her aside and placed both of his hands on the sides of Merlin's face.

"What did you do to him!" the pure and sheer desperation in Arthur's voice matched my racing heart. He whirled around to glare at Bryony, already searching for a pulse in Merlin's wrist. I made my way towards him while he exclaimed desperately "You said he'd be_ fine!_"

Bryony just looked at Arthur with those eyes that were no longer gold and I could have sworn there was something similar to pity in the depths of those blue irises. "And if you had trusted your friend, King Arthur, " she said, looking so calm that she contrasted greatly with Arthur's frantic search for a heartbeat. "you'd know that he's just resting. His body has been forced to heal itself in a matter of seconds and it's exhausted beyond its capability."

I placed a hand upon my heart as I looked at her and knew she _couldn't_ be lying. "You mean he just fell asleep?" could that be even possible? "He's not in any danger?"

"I already told your husband that I would never cause him so much pain." was her answer. "I intend to keep my word. Merlin is alright but he needs a few hours of rest. Don't fret, King Arthur. But do tell me..." there was real curiosity in her voice and she titled her head to one side as she watched Arthur sit heavily on the chair by Merlin's bedside, shielding his eyes with his hand. "Wouldn't you have felt it if it had been so?"

I did not understand the question but, for some reason, Arthur raised his gaze to meet hers and said nothing. Absolutely nothing.

"I see." said Bryony before she guided her cane towards a corner of the room and sat down wearily on a chair. "I see."

She said nothing more as I sank to my knees besides Arthur and placed my head on his shoulder, watching his fingers press, ever so lightly, on the inside of Merlin's wrist. Hanging on to a fluttering pulse.

We watched Merlin through the night and this was, truly, what I remember the most since it was as if the storm had subdued and we were preparing for another heavy rain that had been lingering above us. With a heavy sigh Bryony sat by us, watching Arthur and then Merlin tirelessly, almost as if she was studying them.

"Apparently I was dying." Arthur said flatly after a while, still staring at nothing.

I squeezed my hand with his as his gaze flickered towards Bryony, heavy with confusion. "Why would Merlin _lie _about it?"

The healer shuffled before replying, softly. "You will find, King Arthur, that some people take great risks for your sake…and they ask nothing in return-"

"Was he afraid that I would be…angry because I used magic? What does this idiot think, that I will throttle him for saving my life?"

"You're looking at it wrong, Pendragon." Bryony interrupted and I was surprised to see something less gentle in her soft eyes. "The man that has taken a beating because you asked something of him wants nothing more than your well-being. But sometimes…it is better to leave things shrouded in the dark."

I took one glance at Merlin's peaceful face before looking at Bryony. "Like the scars, you mean."

Her gaze found mine and for a moment I imagined I could read something in it, something precious. But the impression was soon gone. "Yes." She replied evenly. "Yes, like the scars. I met Merlin when he came banging into my home asking for help because his friend was dying. And I used my magic to heal you because I could not bear the heartbroken look in his eyes." She smiled. "You must know, Arthur Pendragon, that I knew you wanted me dead. I had no love for you or your family. I could have let you die from blood loss."

My grip tightened around Arthur's hand as I became aware of how close I'd been to lose him forever. Arthur's eyes shone, and I was shocked when I saw something slide down his face.

"I understand…" Arthur whispered quietly.

"But Merlin was breaking down before me…"Bryony continued, almost as if Arthur wasn't wiping the suspicious wetness of his face, "And I understood that I could not let you die and live with it on my conscience. So I healed you. And now the roles have reversed."

She directed a glance towards the sleeping Merlin and I glanced at him too, finding my heart was squeezed painfully on my chest. He looked so pale…and so innocent. As if he was nothing but a boy.

"You, Arthur Pendragon, don't realize it yet." Bryony whispered quietly after a long silence. "But if I had followed your orders and left the palace at your command you would been looking for me right now, scouring the forest…."

Arthur glanced upwards and I did too, not understanding what Bryony was implying. She offered us a small smile.

"The pain would've been_ unbearable_ after a few more hours." She said gently, glancing between my husband and my best friend. "For both of you."

Arthur did not reply and neither did I. Though, for a small second, I saw something glimmer in Arthur's eyes and it was, if nothing else, a sign that he'd understood.

...

We slept there that night. Arthur and I reached a silent agreement in which we would not take our eyes away from Merlin for more than what it took to blink and being in a separate room, of course, was not an option. So after I sent the small serving boy who'd offered us a spare bed away I rested my head upon Arthur's shoulder and looked up to his stony features.

However not the truest of resolve could've stopped us from, eventually, slipping into deep sleep. I suppose seeing Bryony humming softly as she checked the bandages had something to do with it. But the truth is that in my heart of hearts I knew Merlin was no longer in immediate danger. Smiling and squeezing Arthur's hands between my own I couldn't help but feel a certain calmness sweep in almost as if the storm was gone and tragedy had missed us all by a narrow inch.

I dreamed. I dreamed of disconnected phrases and hushed whispers, of a few, nonsensical words and the flash of golden eyes.

It was probably worry what made my eyes snapped open as the candlelight flickered around us and I realized, still in a dreamy haze, that Bryony hadn't gotten any sleep and that she was still, hovering her wrinkled hands upon Merlin's body.

And that Merlin, my dear Merlin, was_ awake._

"Merlin." I heard my gasp and could barely believe how loud it sounded on the quiet room. Struggling out of a sleeping Arthur's grasp my heart jumped in joy when Merlin's eyes- bright and full of life, although extremely tired- sought my own.

"Gwen." he answered in a whisper, titling his face so that I could see that goofy, adorable smile lit up his pale features.

I wanted more than anything to throw my arms around him and never let go, to swear by everything good that I would never let Merlin take a blow for me, to greet his friendly smile with a reassuring hug.

Probably seeing the clear emotions struggling for dominance on my face and gaining that- oh so known-twinkle of mischief on his soulful eyes, Merlin said in a hushed breath. "You're not going to kiss me now, are you?"

My smile couldn't have been bigger even if I wanted to. Letting a few tears slip down my cheeks I struggled with the constricted 'no' that left my throat and leaned over to throw my arms around him, laughing and trying to process the fact that he no longer flinched away when my skin brushed his arm, that he was alright and he_ always_ would be and neither I nor Arthur would ever let anything happen to him _ever_ again...

"Never scare us like that again, Merlin." I found myself whispering against his shoulder. "I don't think we would be able to take it."

I felt his head tilt slightly so that he could look at my sleeping husband who, even when his face was veiled with the curtain of sleep, had a frown of heart-stopping worry upon his handsome features.

"You alright though?" Merlin asked in a whisper after I had let go of him and taken his hand between my own, barely able to contain the length of the smile upon my face.

How could I express in mere words the gratefulness that I felt? "Thanks to you."

"You are my friend Gwen." was his soft answer. "I would've done anything to keep you safe."

Restricting myself from crushing him in a hug again-though barely- I squeezed his hand with all the emotion I was capable of.

"How's Arthur?" he asked, titling his head again to flicker his tired gaze through my husband's face. I looked at him again and could see what Merlin, undoubtedly, saw. It was as if Arthur had aged within a few short hours, so stern and furrowed was his expression.

I wondered then if it was possible that, out of everyone in the room, Arthur was the one suffering the most.

"He was beyond himself Merlin." I said softly, looking into Merlin's wide blue gaze as I tried to blink away the tears that suddenly threatened to spill because the memories, the recollections that speaking brought were way too horrible. " He looked as if he was ready to murder someone the moment we found you and, _God_, Merlin what did that man _do to you?"_

_"_As if Arthur's training was any better." he said in a breathy laugh but I did not smile. Instead I shook my head and looked, once more, towards my husband.

It was clear to me, there and then, that yes out of everyone in the room- perhaps except for Merlin- Arthur's suffering was the greatest. How could anything but the most heart-wrenching emotions cause his face to contort so? _  
_

"You don't understand Merlin." I said in a soft whisper, shaking my head sadly. "For I brief moment we thought- we thought we'd lose you and Arthur-"

"You don't have to explain Gwen." Merlin said suddenly, squeezing my hand between his own gently. "I understand...I've been there before."

And if the dark shadows suddenly veiling his face were anything to go by it was not only once but multiple times. My heart-beat stuttered but nothing could've prevented the next words slipping from my lips.

"Arthur challenged Kent to a duel over you, Merlin."

His face, already pale beyond belief, went even a shade wither and his eyes opened wide as if what I'd said had stopped his heart.

"What?"

I fought a small smile. "You heard me, Merlin. Sometimes you_ really_ overestimate what you mean to him..."

"No, no _no._..." before my surprised eyes Merlin tried to push himself into a sitting position and then, though I'd forgotten about her, the silent presence of Bryony was suddenly there.

"Don't move, Merlin."

However Merlin did not heed her warning and with hisses and grunts that broke my heart he managed to grasp my arms with his hands as he looked, terrified, into my eyes.

I will never forget the true fear that was in his voice as he asked me, almost pleadingly, "Don't let him fight Kent Gwen. Please, do anything but don't let him near that man..."

I looked into his- was there any a better word?- distraught eyes with my own as I frowned. "Merlin." I placed my hand upon his brow and felt, almost vanishing, a soft fever. "what are you _saying_?"

"You have to convince him to withdraw." my dear friend went on, pressing his fingers lightly upon my arms. "Kent is not all that he seems-"

"What do you mean?" I could feel my heart beating faster and that was, without a doubt, one of the most terrifying moments in all of the week. Because Merlin, dear lionhearted (1) Merlin was never afraid. But yet the true terror in his eyes- for Arthur-could mean nothing but an even greater storm cloud looming over us.

"Trust me on this, Gwen." Merlin said, flinching once more- and out of the corner of my eye, though I still don't know if I imagined it or not, I saw Arthur do the same- "If Arthur fights him..."

Something suddenly awoke in my memory and before Merlin could say anything else I jumped to my feet, grabbed my cloak from upon a solitary chair and started walking towards the door. Looking back I remember the desperation in Merlin's eyes and the sudden need to comfort him.

"Don't worry Merlin." I said as I opened the door and slipped into the the silent castle hallways. "I have an idea."

.

Though I took me more time than what I had expected I finally came across a barely awake knight, who was starting to nod off on his spot. Maybe it was the desperate situation I found myself in or the fact that I needed answer before the break of daylight but when I spoke my voice sounded as commanding as when I was addressing the council.

"I am Lady Guinevere Pendragon." I said, pulling back my hood.

He stuttered as he blinked and said, "My Queen!"

"I need you to take me to wherever your Lord is." I continued, paying no heed to the way he was trying to bow as he rubbed his eyes. "This is of utmost importance to the King."

"Our Lord is on the dungeons, My Lady."

I shook my head.

"I meant Lord _Thomas_."

Something that resembled alarm and true terror went through his eyes but a moment later he simply said, "He's not fit to see anyone My Lady."

_'He's not all that he seems...'_

"I don't care." and I've acted as harshly in counted times throughout my life because, with Arthur's life at stake, I barely had time for the formalities. "I need to see him. Now."

He looked truly horrified as he took in my determination.

"I-I cannot do that My Lady. I'm sorry-"

The suspicion became almost unbearable as I recalled, within a misty haze, the way Kent had dismissed his father's illness so carelessly...

"You owe obedience to your King over anyone else." I said, softening my countenance at seeing the true heartbreaking terror on his eyes. "Look." placing my hand upon his shoulder I locked my gaze with his. " No harm will come to you if you only tell me the truth."

A battle was taking place upon the man's heart and I could see it. But yes, at last, he said. "I will...take you to our Lord."

And so I followed him through the obscure hallways knowing that, if anything, this was my only chance at keeping Arthur from dueling with Kent for I knew that when it came to his honor he would not listen to me. And if there was something that I was sure of it was that Merlin's warnings were always true.

We halted in front of a wooden door and it was so silent that I could practically hear my own heartbeat. With a nervous glance- one that I returned as calmly as I could- the knight opened the door and waved his hand so that I could go in.

With a whispered _'thank you'_ I smiled reassuringly at him and crossed the door.

The room was cold. Colder, if possible, than the outside of it. I could see the wind ruffling through barely drawn curtains, a silver jug sitting quietly besides a empty goblet and in the bed a man...the thinnest, most fragile men I've ever seen.

His hair was a white cloud upon his hair, unruly and tidy matching the snowy beard on his jaw. His eyes were closed but, by God, if the sheer unnaturalness of his position was anything to go by this was no ordinary sleep...

"Lord Thomas?"

No answer. His eyelids didn't even flutter.

Something was very wrong. I recall sitting on his bedside and taking his hand in mine, pressing lightly and searching for a pulse...only to find a very weak, light one.

The man was _dying._

The man was dying and there was absolutely no one around him, no hearth to warm him, no hands to tend to his fever. He had been abandoned. The knight who had accompanied me slowly approached until he, too, saw what I was staring at in horror.

"Good God!" he said, placing a hand upon his mouth and taking a few steps back. "My Lady, I-"

"I need you to fetch the healer immediately." I said, not even sparing a glance at him as I watched Lord Thomas, that good man from Arthur's childhood, slip away before my eyes. _"Go!"_

As he went away, not even glancing back, I prayed and hoped that Bryony was not too late. And thanked the heaven's for Merlin because I know that without him there would've been no chance to save the poor man from the greatest of betrayals.

Thankfully, Bryony arrived shortly after. As soon as her cane cackled down the hallway I had already jumped up to hold the door open and watched, with pursed lips, as she leaned over Lord Thomas and hovered her wrinkled hands above him.

"He's been poisoned."

There was no space for doubt on her diagnostic. I looked into her eyes and found only cold acceptance.

"Are you certain?"

"As certain as you are that this is not ordinary poison, My Lady." she said curtly though her soft eyes were even gentler, if possible. "This is _magic."_

Yes, I felt my breath caught in my throat and my heart starting a frantic beating against my ribcage but against the possibility of Arthur fighting this deluded men who called himself a Lord my own worries were nothing. Besides, I trusted Bryony. All because of Merlin._  
_

So it came as no surprise that my next question was,

"Can you do _anything_ to heal him?"

She _did_ look surprised but hid it well. Except for a hint of a smile on her lips and a drop of color on her cheeks it was as if I was talking of ordinary means of healing. "I can certainly try, My Lady."

"Thank you."

A nod for an answer. I watched as her pale fingers traced the man's heart and the strange (though now, by no means scary) chanting started again. Before my eyes Lord Thomas' skin took an even color, his cheeks became healthy and bright and the bluish veins that seemed to be popping out of his skin were visible no more. The golden light on Bryony's eyes faltered and faded and I was left watching, awe struck, how Lord Thomas opened his tired lids to reveal two clear blue pupils, intelligent and acute, below.

The first thing he said, as he fixated his gaze on me was a bare whisper.

"He's betrayed us all."

* * *

(1) reference to 'King and Lionheart' by Of Monsters and Men. :P

You guys will kill me...but there's going to be a 4th part of this. *ducks behind table.* Though I believe it will NOT take this long I've learned that my life takes unexpected turns so...yeah. :P

AND IT SHALL BE THE LAST PART!

However, if everything goes well, it should be up in no less than two weeks. :D

*blows kissess* For all my fellow Americans, Happy Thanksgiving! :)


	10. Going Under Part 4

...

Haha, _nope,_ I won't even try. Please enjoy. I know you all waited _way_ too long for this. :) And for the beautiful people that pushed me to finally finish this...a million hugs and kisses.

* * *

**Going Under**

**Part 4.**

* * *

'Sam, you know...we made a hell of a team back there.'

-Dean Winchester.

* * *

Those lonely minutes of the morning in which I helped Lord Thomas into a sitting position and instructed Bryony to stay with him while I fetched my husband were also the calmest. The rest of the day would be a thunderstorm that would swipe through each and every one of us.

I found Arthur awake. He was staring intently at Merlin's face as if the frown in his face could elicit a reaction from our dear friend. According to the healer, after exchanging a few words with her Merlin had gone back under and had not stirred at all. He looked so peaceful that if I hadn't known better I would've thought him years younger than he really was. However, the gruesome scar in his arm- one that would match all the others scattered around his body- reminded me-reminded _us_...of the truth.

I placed my hand in Arthur's arm to snap him out of whatever thoughts he was having while staring at Merlin's closed eyelids.

"Arthur..."

He looked around, as if startled, and smiled as when he saw me though his face became somber less than a second after. "Guinevere. What happened?"

"I believe Kent poisoned his father Arthur," his blue eyes flashed as I spoke. "And I believe that he used magic to do it."

My husband sucked a breath and closed his eyes for a brief moment before looking at me again. "And?"

"He lives." I said, allowing a brief smile of alleviation flutter across my face. "But you need to hear what he has to say right _now. _Arthur, a man like Kent is dangerous. When power has such a hold upon people… who knows what they are willing to do for it?"

He placed a kiss on my forehead. "You are right, of course, Guinevere. We shall go and speak to him at once, He-"

He stopped dead, half-way between getting up his chair and following me, and directed a glance towards our friend, sleeping soundlessly on the makeshift bed.

"Merlin." he said.

"I will stay with him." I offered immediately, pulling his hand so that he would go quickly. "Go to Lord Thomas."

He doubted, flickering his eyes between me and the door.

"I would prefer to have you on my sight, Guinevere."

By the glance he directed at Merlin I knew he was-even if he would never admit it- speaking for Merlin as well. I felt my heart warming up for this extraordinary man and I squeezed his hand tightly with my own as the solution, at that time perfectly acceptable and plausible, left my lips. "I don't want to leave him either. The space between these chambers and Lord Thomas' is short, Arthur. What if we sent Bryony to look after Merlin when we reach him?"

His face lit up, as if that was the answer he'd been expecting although a dim shadow of doubt still flickered deep in his sky blue eyes. But after shaking his head he laughed and said, "You, Guinevere, are brilliant."

With a smile of my own I guided him towards Lord Thomas' chambers, not after Arthur and I both had entrusted the knight who'd remained outside the door to 'guard the man inside at all times.'

Not once but twice he looked back as we walked through the hallways and I still wonder if he, for some reason, could feel what was about to happen.

Nevertheless Arthur continued his way and so did I.

.

There was something that could only be identified as 'utter disbelief' in Bryony's eyes when she saw us enter into Lord Thomas' chambers, our hands clasped tightly together. However it soon faded when Arthur, as if it was everything that he had been thinking of since we left our friend, asked her hurriedly to go and stay with Merlin while we spoke to Lord Thomas.

With one glance into Arthur's eyes Bryony was gone and Arthur's gaze followed her until she was out of sight.

_"Arthur Pendragon."_

We both turned our heads as the weak whisper reached our ears and I saw a smile flicker upon Lord Thomas' thin lips. He gestured with his hands, hands that Arthur took between his in a few hurried strides as he sat on the man's bedside.

"You remember me."

Lord Thomas' light eyes went through Arthur's every feature, and he said, at last. "Of course I do, my boy. You are all grown up but I would recognize you anywhere."

I saw Arthur's lips curl upwards in a genuine smile I had not seen since the events of...had it actually been less than a few hours? It felt as if we'd been hunching under the burden of anger and worry for a thousand ages.

"I cannot begin to tell you how wonderful it is to see you." Arthur said gently, smiling still. Yet his smile faltered and faded a moment later no doubt due to flashes of our friend's predicament going through his mind as he added, "We need to discuss your son. Kent, he-"

"He turned against his own father." said Lord Thomas, shaking his head in grief. I couldn't help but place my hand upon his thin shoulder and he looked up at me with such gratefulness that my own eyes began to water. I knew, from that moment on, that Lord Thomas was nothing like Kent in the same way Arthur's courageous heart bore no resemblance to Uther's.

"He poisoned you." Arthur stated, narrowing his eyes. "Why?"

"He wanted me out of the way." was Lord Thomas' simple answer. "He never saw me as a fit ruler for these lands. I had hinted..." he paused and closed his eyes. "-And it was a rather foolish act I'm afraid- to the revoking of his title as my heir. How could I leave my people, after my death, with a man so wicked and heartless?"

Arthur grimly nodded when the pale eyes of Lord Thomas' sought his own as if waiting for his approval.

"I heard of your coming." Lord Thomas continued on. "and I could barely contain my joy. I had planned to re-institute these lands to your kingdom, My Liege, as I knew, from what I saw of your heart when you were a boy, that you are the ruler my people deserve."

Lord Thomas was, of course, right. Arthur's heart, fueled only by his love for this people, still shines brightly upon us all. I cannot even begin to describe the warmth that I felt upon my chest as Arthur raised his head to meet Lord Thomas' sincere gaze and accept, wordlessly, the offer.

"Your son...he..." Arthur stumbled upon his words as he tried to pull apart his anger from the objectiveness he should show but he was, quite clearly, not doing a good job.

"My Lord." I said gently, slipping my hand into Arthur's and squeezing his fingers while smiling at the frail-looking man. "Kent has gravely injured a friend of ours, a-"

"He tried to hurt my wife." Arthur interrupted his voice heavy with barely contained fury as he returned the squeeze.

"Arthur-"

Arthur did not listen to me. "And now my servant is lying on a bed, wounded, because he protected her." the pure loathing on his words would have made the strongest of men shudder. "I seek retribution with a duel. A mortal one."

Something akin to deep sadness settled in Lord Thomas' tender, pale eyes and he pursed his lips as if Arthur had dealt a heavy blow to his heart. I saw with sorrow that two clear tears slid down his snow-white beard.

"Surely there is another way." I said, looking into Arthur's eyes with a soft plea. "He can be banished from these lands-"

"He tried to kill his own father Guinevere." Arthur answered curtly. But soon enough his eyes were showing signs of heavy grief as he watched Lord Thomas' shed tears for his only son. "I am very sorry old friend." my husband said in a sympathetic whisper. "But I cannot let this offense go."

Lord Thomas shook his aged head as Arthur spoke, grasping my husband's free fingers tightly between his own.

"Do not mistake my tears for anything else but a father's love towards his only son, My Lord." he said in a soft whisper. "I always knew that Kent's actions would be his downfall. He has nothing but hatred in his heart and I understand your need to impart justice. It is clear to me," he directed me a glance full of deep sympathy and a softness that made my heart flutter on my chest. "that if he wanted to hurt this wondrous woman whom you have the blessing of calling your wife that my son is lost to me completely. You may do as you wish, Arthur."

After Arthur nodded the old man closed his eyes ( for a heart-stopping moment I thought that his hour had come) and leaned back on his pillows. Arthur and I watched him with apprehension but when it became clear that he had only fallen asleep I let out a sigh of relief that was cut short by the sudden thought that hit me.

He was giving Arthur permission to do the very thing I was trying to avoid and I could not watch it happen and sit idly.

"Arthur," I whispered, squeezing his hand so that he would look at me. The determination in his eyes bore right through me. "Remember he was using magic...it would not be a fair fight-"

"I doubt he has magic, Guinevere." Arthur dismissed my concern with a breathy laugh, leaning over so that he could whisper in my ear. "If even _Mer_lin could knock a tooth out of him, there is _no_ way he is a sorcerer."

"Merlin is stronger than what you give him credit for."

"Fair point." agreed Arthur. "But he has no fighting skills whatsoever which means that Kent keeps being an overbearing, snobby little boy."

I could see his logic and, at that time, it calmed me a little. Though Merlin's frightened voice kept resonating through my mind I let Arthur's unwavering confidence wash over me and bring much needed, though weak, solace.

"Isn't there another way?" even as I asked the question I knew that Arthur's pride would be answering and thus, I would receive the answer I did not want to hear.

But I was wrong, for there was no pride in Arthur's voice but rather an unadulterated and uncontainable emotion that I had barely heard in his voice.

"No Guinevere, _there is not._"

It was the need for revenge.

.

The duel took place on the early morning, when the first light stroked the horizon.

How can I explain the invisible hand that squeezed my heart as Arthur placed his helmet above his head, took his sword and kissed me goodbye? There are no words for the nagging that was eating away my stomach, nor is there a way to describe my heavy soul. I watched, helplessly so, as Arthur left my side and signaled for the men standing on either side of a bounded Kent to let him go, kicking the ground as Kent rose, picked up his own weapon and fixed Arthur with one long, undefinable and painful look that held such loathing in it I thought if it were possible, we would all drown in it.

Yet, Arthur's own gaze held within a sea of rage and fury, storming in his sky-blue eyes and filling his face with a stone-like facade, one that he did not break, not for a moment, as he ordered everyone to take a step back and leave the arena.

He still had a blackened eye. Good.

Maybe I should have seen it. Maybe I should have seen it in the confidence that Kent exhibited when a day after he'd been terrified at the prospect of a duel with Arthur. But I did not, I _did not_ and even now I wonder how I could have...

It happened rather quickly. Arthur had not been lying. The man before him had not one drop of talent, nor one of honor. He fought as an untamed horse, lashing out and hitting almost drunkenly, forgetting everything a knight should know when in duel. Arthur seemed to dance around him, delivering blow after blow, blocking and hitting as if he was a graceful predator... and suddenly it was over. Kent was bent on the floor with Arthur's blade precariously balancing over his jugular.

"Please..." I heard the dishonorable man gasp in true fear for his life. "Please let me go, I'm sorry, I-"

Arthur's eyes were hard as stone and I could tell that he, as I, was remembering those first horrifying moments in which we'd found Merlin. "Tell me one good reason why I should."

"_Arthur._"

As if it was an answer to Kent's prayer the soft mention of my husband's name by _that voice_ snapped Arthur out of his rage. Blinking against the rising sun he settled his gaze on the figure standing on the edge of the arena at the same time I did and smiled in true delight.

It was Merlin, though clearly weary and pale, but still our dear friend, boring with his eyes Arthur's own.

_"Merlin_." Arthur breathed.

It was as if they both were taking comfort in the fact that each other was alright ( and I am sure they were,) before, with a quick nod, Merlin made his way slowly through the crowd until I could see him standing in the bordering line that divided the tournament arena from the spectator's soft grass.

"He's not worth it Arthur." said Merlin gently though his body tensed, as if ready to pounce at any moment. Yet his gaze was fully concentrated on Arthur's own and I could see Arthur's hand tremble ever so slightly.

"Please, Arthur." Merlin continued. One of his hands extended, as though it was an inborn instinct, towards my husband. "Just put the sword down."

And Arthur..._did._

The weapon clattered to the ground as Arthur kicked Kent so that he would stand up and at the same time signaled the guards to come and bound him. For a brief moment ( it would be fixed in my memory forevermore) he looked into my eyes.

And then he gave Kent his back, walking towards Merlin and smiling that bright grin that he wore in those rare moments in which he let all pretense go and he was just Arthur, a man who thought he'd been about to lose his-_our_-very best friend.

I still remember the silence around us as the world held still for just one second while Arthur and Merlin looked at each other with identical, boyish grins. The lightheartedness in the air was short lived.

Suddenly, Kent was on his knees no more.

There was such a subtle flash of his eyes that I think I would've missed it if I hadn't been watching so closely. The man jumped to his feet with surprising agility, took hold of his sword and then-

Then he pounced towards the general direction of the crowd.

Screams blossomed when all of the spectators rushed backwards in panic and as Kent ran through the arena I felt my heart skip a beat as I thought of-

_Merlin._

Merlin, still standing there as if he hadn't quite seen the man running towards _him_. Perhaps, I remember thinking with terror, he _could not_ run.

But Arthur had seen it too, maybe even before I did, and he dashed towards Merlin at the exact same time- forgetting, for a moment, that his sword was on the ground and not in his hands...

It was then when, with a quick turn of his heels, Kent changed his course and sprinted _on the contrary direction_.

By the time it became clear what was about to happen and my mouth opened, wide in horror, to scream Arthur's name...It was too late.

It was too late as Kent let his own sword fall to the ground, it was too late as Arthur stopped dead, startled, trying to take hold of his blade and finding only an empty scabbard. It was too late, far too late, when this unforgivable man swung his sword and my husband screamed as he dodged it, falling to his knees.

He'd known, I'm sure of it now. He'd known that he'd never defeat Arthur and his only chance was to distract him...

Kent spoke, then. "I really did underestimate your stupidity, Pendragon. Leaving your weapon behind? You should've known better than to try and save the servant."

My heart _stopped_ when he approached Arthur with a raised blade and an unmoved semblance. His eyes, two bright points of black hate, seemed to burn with dark fire.

How I longed to be able to move, to reach the man I loved before the unthinkable happened, to take the blow and spare him all suffering! But I was too far...way too far. I could never reach him in time, I-

"ARTHUR!"

The scream though, was not mine

I would recognize the voice who'd lashed out with such desperation anywhere.

_Merlin._

I will try to explain what happened next to the best of my ability. I saw Bryony from the corner of my eye, looking on with a truly pained expression on her withered face, saw Arthur whip his head around at the same time Merlin flashed through the arena as if he'd never been hurt and was in the prime of his youth, felt my own legs beginning to sprint towards where Arthur and my closest friend were, saw Kent's eyes glow with malice as he now raised his fallen blade above his head-

Only to be held back by a firm but pale hand wrapping itself around his wrist.

Merlin has never looked as frightening as he did in those moments. Even though he was pale, bandaged and his hair was a mess... the sheer determination in his eyes- a hawk protecting its hatchling- would've set the man's face of fire.

However, no matter how truly menacing he looked he was still weak and though his grip was strong Kent managed to free his hand. But he was no longer focused on Arthur, instead, he turned towards an defenseless Merlin with that sharp blade and swung it.

I think that, for a second, I forgot how to breathe.

Merlin claimed later that it was all thanks to Arthur ( somehow he'd picked_ something_ up from Arthur's training.) but I still believe that it was pure luck. Or maybe it was the fact that Arthur screamed from the ground,

"Merlin, _duck_!"

Merlin obeyed without delay and the sword cut through air above his head. Kent spurned around, eyes blazing, and then went towards Arthur who looked helplessly around and could not find anything to defend himself with...

However, he didn't need to. I still don't know how Merlin managed to pick himself up so quickly but he was crawling on his elbows just one moment later, reaching Kent at the same time the wicked man readied himself to strike. My dear friend wrapped his hand around Kent's ankle with a grunt and the Lord toppled to the ground face first, biting dust quite literally.

I would've laughed at my husband's face if the circumstances weren't as dire and I hadn't been busy picking a sword of my own from one of the guards. Arthur allowed himself one moment to look bewildered before he was climbing to his knees.

"Merlin!"

With one look towards his eyes, my dear friend did what Arthur had wordlessly asked for. ( till this day he refuses to tell me how he did it.) He reached out and grabbed Kent's fallen sword, hurling it above Kent and directly into Arthur's open hand.

My husband _caught it_ - yet Merlin did not even aim -and then they shared a wide grin as though they were on the training field back in Camelot.

But as Arthur rose to his feet Kent bent his knee and then gave one mighty kick-

"You filthy _servant_!"

It landed on Merlin's _right_ arm.

The scream that tore my best friend's throat should've not been possible.

My legs started moving again and, for the strangest of moments, everything went mute as I saw Bryony limping towards them too and Arthur's face morph and become an otherworldly sight as he roared Merlin's name.

I remember- I remember thinking that Merlin had been through enough and he did not deserve any of this and knowing with a certainty that was disconcerting that _this was the way he got his scars._ I remember Arthur and his uncharacteristic gasp at the _exact_ moment Merlin screamed in pain.

Then, finally, I was _there_ and as Arthur struggled to get up_ I_ was the one who ran Kent through with the sword.

After the blade ripped through flesh there was only silence.

I think that no one, not even I, expected _that_.

Kent looked at me, looked at the _servant_ that I had been through my eyes and with an 'o' shaped mouth fell to the ground. And then, for him, it was over. He lay on the ground, bleeding, and not one soul made anything to aid him.

"...Merlin."

The shock would come later. I could not care less as Kent exhaled one last breath because I turned around and saw Arthur kneel besides Merlin, placing two trembling hands on my dear friend's shoulders and trying- but failing- to stop their shaking.

Even now I think I saw Arthur's back visibly lessen its tension when Merlin spoke, curling his fingers around Arthur's wrist. "I'm alright Arthur-" he assured him soothingly and that toothy grin of his was akin to a rising sun. " There's nothing to worry about. It just _hurt_ that's all."

"You're _bleeding_." said Arthur, grabbing Merlin's hand and turning it so that he could see better the thin line that ran through our friend's pale palm.

As I knelt beside them Merlin rubbed the back of his head. "Guess I didn't duck_ that_ quickly."

I couldn't have retained the laugh that left my lips even if I wanted too. "It's just a scratch." I said, and I thought I'd never heard anything more beautiful. "Thank God. Is _just_ a scratch."

But it still bled. And as Arthur ripped part of his sleeve ( apparently forgetting that the seamstress had made it with the finest wool from Mercia.) and tried to clumsily wrap it around Merlin's wound I reached out to hug my dearest friend and let a smile touch my lips as I closed my eyes on his shoulder.

"_Thank you,_ Merlin."

When Bryony reached us this time Arthur didn't even flinch before she placed her wrinkled hands upon Merlin's and asked for my King's permission.

Arthur nodded with a clenched jaw and soon a new scar zigzagged along Merlin's pale palm.

A scar matching all the others.

.

Lord Thomas let only one tear fall.

I was the one who told him that his son was dead- dead by my hand- and asked with a bowed head for his forgiveness. I've never, not even now, regretted what I did. And even if later Arthur congratulated me for what he deemed a noble and brave act and said that he, better than anyone, understood the shock that killing could bring, it still didn't affect me in the way everybody thought it would.

For me the worst was seeing this father cry over his son and knowing that I was the one who'd taken him away. But then, as I looked over to were Arthur and Bryony supported Merlin ( who, despite the fight he'd put earlier, _still_ needed to recover) I felt a tiny smile on my lips. Because they were alright, both of them, and I had not _lost_ them.

"My dear Lady-" Lord Thomas stopped me from continuing my apology with the kindness of his eyes. "I do not blame you. He was my son but a wicked soul nevertheless." he turned towards Arthur and, for a reason that still eludes me, those blue eyes twinkled when they focused on Merlin. "Now, Arthur, I can truly say without any fear for rebellion or anarchy- this kingdom is yours. You are the only one worthy enough to govern over my people."

When Arthur received the official seal from Lord Thomas' withered hands he turned to me,

"This is your victory, Queen of my heart." he said and I'd never seen such pride in his eyes.

But I knew that, in the end, Arthur was mistaken. This new achievement had been possible only because of the man hidden in the shadows-

"Merlin."

I still remember quite distinctly the way his eyebrows reached almost a Gaius' like height and then said, "me?"

"Yes, _you_." I answered, placing a hand in his arm and looking up at him. "You, Merlin. You are the true hero."

The smile that blossomed on his face as I said it...I'll always hold it dear in my heart.

And, as if fate had decided to make the moment even sweeter, Arthur was suddenly beside me. "Guinevere is right." he said, placing one arm around my shoulders and smiling at _our_ Merlin. "Thank you, old friend."

Merlin's wide smile softened. "Arthur I-"

"Not only for this." said Arthur, putting one solid hand on Merlin's shoulder. I looked up at him and saw his Adam apple bobble with emotion. "For everything. For protecting Guinevere. For the things I don't know and the _things unsaid_ as well. You are a loyal friend, Merlin."

The joy that radiated from Merlin's eyes marveled my heart.

.

In the end, there was no treaty to sign.

Lord Thomas gave Arthur every right to his lands, signed every parchment with the enthusiasm of a young man and as Arthur sat with him and spoke about his vision of a land united under a single banner the old Lord _cried._

Then, after one last banquet, we took our leave. I waited by the stairwell while Merlin and Bryony whispered to each other and I felt my eyes grow tender as the old woman embraced my friend with the same warmth a mother would a son. With one last goodbye my dear friend smiled and turned towards me, waving.

It was then when I saw Arthur, putting on his gloves as he went down the stairs.

Without any warning he stopped and turned towards Bryony and Merlin, now by my side, grinned with such joy that my heart fluttered. I couldn't help but smile when I heard what was being said,

" I need to _reconsider_..." Arthur said with great effort. "You've given me a lot to think about."

Bryony's tender eyes became even more gentle as she answered. "I am sure I did, Arthur Pendragon."

"Thank you..." even though I could only see the back of Arthur's blond head the gratitude in his voice spoke of the gratefulness present in his eyes. "For..._for Merlin._"

"You needn't thank me Arthur Pendragon." said Bryony. She nodded towards us. " Not me but Merlin."

With a small shake of his head Merlin climbed down the last few steps and I turned towards him. Merlin would never know it but Arthur's small answer_ ' I owe him more than I know don't I?'_ was laced with an awe that I'd never heard in him.

To think that, only mere days ago, I'd been so close to losing this tall, goofy, extraordinary man forever.

"Merlin?"

"Yes, Gwen?"

"Thank you." If I only knew how to express through those two simple words what I felt. But a look into Merlin's eyes told me that he, somehow, already knew.

"You don't need to thank me Gwen." he answered softly, bowing his head so that I could see the twinkle in his eyes. "I would do anything for you, you know that. I would do it for a _friend_."

Yet I know the truth. _For Arthur_, he meant to say.

My heart swelled within my chest as I squeezed his hand and tried to understand how we'd been as lucky as to deserve a man- a friend- like him. I traced the scar in his palm with my fingers and even though I felt the urge to ask about the rest of his...battle-wounds- right there and then I did not. The joy on Merlin's eyes was too precious to break.

So I said instead,

"You and Arthur...you made a great team back there. If I didn't know you-" I paused and wrapped my arm around his to help him march on. "I'd say you used some kind of magic to read his mind."

Quite unexpectedly, he threw his head back and laughed.

* * *

'...Yeah.'

-Sam Winchester.

* * *

Couldn't resist writing some BAMF! Gwen. It is practically canon after the finale. :D

Again, thank you for being so patient. I don't have an excuse for this but I hope you guys enjoyed it nonetheless. :D


	11. Below The Deck

If I already replied to you I shall reply again. :)

lilyflower1345 :  You are very welcome, Lily. Thanks! I love to explore the advisor-side to the Arthur & Merlin dynamic. ;)

Windy Silvermist: Thanks Windy! I am so glad you liked it. ;)

caldera32: Lol, I know right? ;)- Manage Stories

Potato Fairy Ah, I love yo alright? *hugs tightly*

Mika271170: Thanks! and there might be in the future. ;)

hemlocked : OMG. You are awesome, you know that? Merlin and Arthur reflected on Dean and Sammy? Just...yes.

MamzelleHermy: Aww, thank you so much Hermy! *hugs tightly.*

In-Love-With-The-Fictional: YOUR REVIEW made me smile like no other. You are just awesome. I am sorry for the overwhelming feels but I truly believe it is the best way to heal from the finale. Aww, and bless ya too! ;)

azuredragonsleeps : I guess this answers that little comment. Thank you! :D

CarolinaEirasSa : Carolina you always know how to make my day, don't you? Love you! I hope you enjoy this one. :D

chele the original: Thanks! :D I was aiming for extreme bamfness. ;)

photo100: Aw, I'm glad!

Insanityisgood25: Hello my crazy hedgehog! How are you doin' this fine evening? This is dedicated to you and you only. :D

SpangleyPony: Thank you so much SpangleyPony! You are so sweet. :)

Oh, was this fun. :D One of the randomest things I've ever done. The first epistolary story/one-shot/thing I've ever written! (it's a miracle and an odd thing indeed because I really can't stand epistolary things. *cough *_Frankestein_ *cough.*) but…I wanted to try. :D

Sneaky bromance is sneaky.

This was requested by **Insanityisgood25**: "I would love some more _Merlin Bamf_ and maybe even Gwen bamf? The 4 parter that you did was amazing! Could you (if t would fit because I don't know if this idea would) do one _when Merlin is Court Sorcerer_ (that idea strikes again ) _and him and Arthur have to go to another kingdom and maybe some craziness ensues?_ Just an idea..."

TA-DA! Because I love you. :D

* * *

And in the sea that's painted black,  
Creatures lurk below the deck  
But you're the king and I'm a lionheart.

- King and Lionheart, Of Monsters & Men.

* * *

**Below The Deck.**

**.**

_Found in the royal documents of Queen Julia of Leodengrance after her death.) _

_._

To the most excellent Queen Julia of Leodengrance, with every affection of faithful service, wishes of prosperity and peace from her most humble servant and scribe Peter of Bor.

My dear Lady, I have arrived at the ship that sails in a few hours with the orders you have given me and I shall be parting towards the Northern Kingdoms very soon. As it is your wish, I will be writing to you with the daily occurrences aboard, first of all, since you were most interested, I shall tell you about that man they call The Once and Future King. Uther's son.

Arthur Pendragon is really not as tall as they paint him.

Though, my Lady, he does have hair the color of newborn wheat, a cropped beard and blue eyes. The bards do tend to exaggerate, don't they? His sword is silver and gold but it does not contain magical beams (a shame,) and he is as menacing as a bear cub.

Don't even get me started on The Emrys! We've both heard wonderful things about him and though I admittedly thought they were all hogwash I was certainly not expecting this. He is a tall young man, thin as a toothpick and pale as marble. He beams and nods and throughout the whole exchange of documents and certificates so that we could all leave the port, he never once left King Arthur Pendragon's side. He also tripped over a wet spot on the deck and would've broken his nose if it were not for the Pendragon's quick reflexes. I cannot see The Emrys in that gangly man, anywhere. It is odd indeed.

My Lady, now I must leave you for we are already parting and the boy that will carry this letter to you needs to run or he'll have to swim back. But I have the crow with me and I shall use it to send the rest of my report as I chronicle my journey.

Forever your faithful servant,

Peter of Bor.

* * *

(_The Fourth Day_.)

.

To Queen Julia of Leodengrance, with every wish for her wellbeing, forever submitted to her will, her scribe Peter of Bor.

As I write I can barely stop my hands from trembling, it is awful to be out on open sea. However, the only one that seems to be enjoying himself is Arthur Pendragon. Even Princess Mithian of Nemeth (who seemed most resilient.) has turned down the evening meal and the High King of these lands ate her sausages…and his Court Sorcerer's too.

My stomach is a roaring thunder and my hands are clammy, as if I've drunk too much wine. But there is no chance to even think about nominal things such as food and drink with what is a stake and I've asked Arthur Pendragon if he does plan to rid the Northern borders from the Saxons with diplomacy.

He said that yes, such thing is the general idea but that, if it did not work, he had a _secret weapon_ up his sleeve. Then he smiled at me with that toothy grin of his that you, My Lady, would find charming but that I cannot help but find annoying, and clapped once. He said that tactful democracy is always necessary but sometimes so is violence, if said democracy fails to convince the Saxons of stopping their attacks.

He ate my sausages as well.

Princess Mithian stopped to talk to me. She said that we are all in good hands and that I should not fret. However, I cannot help but feel as if I am leaving the fate of Albion in the hands of two children.

You should know, My Lady, that The Emrys is not as invincible as we all thought. King Arthur might laugh about it but I think it is absolutely disgraceful that a man so powerful can be undone by a mere rocking ship. Though I am not feeling too good myself_ I_ am not the one throwing up over the deck and moaning about 'ungrateful dollopheads' (I hope I did hear that correctly though I have no recollection of ever hearing that word before.) looking positively miserable.

I wonder if the Saxons will see that these two are bickering children and doom us all,

With blessings,

Peter of Bor.

* * *

_(The Tenth Day.)_

_._

To Queen Julia of Leodengrance, peace and prosperity from her most humble servant, Peter of Bor.

You wish, My Lady, to hear from the man the prophets call '_Altus rex Britanniae' _and I want nothing more than to please you. I sought out an audience with the ruler of Camelot in your name and he received me with the notable quickness.

I asked him right away, if he intended to make fools of us all. He is nothing but a child King and the heavy armies that we all expected from Albion's lands are reduced to a seasick sorcerer that apparently is the most powerful man to ever live and a sword made of gold and silver that cannot shoot arrows of beaming light as that blabbering Lord once made us believe.

I must say, My Lady, that this man had no fear for he laughed in my face, striking the wooden table with his fist as he did so. I asked him what was so funny and do you want to know what he said? That he agreed wholeheartedly with my observations of The Emrys' astonishing clumsiness.

But, once he was sobered up he sat straighter and his jaw clenched. I must say, Your Highness, for the first time since I saw him, he looked as majestic as they describe him.

He told me that, even if it did not appear so, his Court Sorcerer, _his Merlin (_I don't know what to make of it. The Emrys referred to the Pendragon as _his King_ from the day I came aboard and it is highly improbable that it is only a coincidence.) held within him more power than what any man could ever hope to comprehend. That not even he, bounded to the warlock, could know such power in its totality. 'The kindest, noblest man I'll ever know.' he said to me. 'You must not think any less of him only because he is a clumsy idiot.'

He somehow knew what I had been thinking. 'You musn't think that him being here is a preemptive measure. I do intend to negotiate things peacefully with the Saxons and with Merlin by my side, as he always is. Sometimes, I wonder if I deserve him.'

'Friends are loyal to each other.' I interjected quickly for I had witnessed the friendship between them and I did not understand what King Arthur was talking about.

'Friends.' he repeated, looking at me though his gaze was far away. 'Friends. _Is that what we are? _I think friendship does not convey what Merlin and I are. Perhaps, 'two sides of the same coin.' is a better way of looking at it. ' He laughed as if it was some sort of inside joke and I just stared.

We shook hands and that was the end of it. My Queen, I don't know what to think. I feel as if this is suicidal but at the same time I am certain that his words were sincere.

Yours truly,

Peter of Bor.

* * *

_( The fifteenth day.)_

_._

To the most excellent Queen Julia of Leodengrance, with every affection of faithful service, wishes of prosperity and peace from her most humble servant and scribe Peter of Bor.

My dear Lady,

We have crossed the first two seas.

We've been lucky. So far we've only encountered lonely rocks and icy islands but the Captain warns us of the vast dangers that the sea hides. I shudder as I think of everything that might happen but King Arthur Pendragon laughs and so does The Emrys. Though his laugh is, as it has been throughout the week I've been a spectator of their childish behavior, marked by horseplay. Yes, they irritate me to no end, My Lady, and I must say that I am worried about the Saxons, more than what I would admit.

But The Emrys insisted that I should call him _'Merlin'_ yesterday and sat with me. He spoke about Arthur Pendragon, said he noticed my skepticism.

"I understand that you hesitate to trust him and doubt him." said he, "I know that you are scared for your Queen and your kingdom. But you don't need to be. Even if Arthur is young for someone holding such power and even if he is not as merciless or as menacing as people sometimes envision him it does not mean he is not the man you need. The man _we_ all need."

He continued talking and started doing these gestures with his hands, almost as if he could not express his ardent words thoroughly. "You must understand something, My Lord. There is no other man more apt to be our advocate among the Saxons. He was born to lead us all into prosperity."

I asked him if he thought that of himself and he looked at me with a bemused expression that I shan't forget while I live. He told me that he was born, and I quote, '_for Arthur and Arthur only_.' and that all of his power was Arthur's to command. He said that, in the end, it was the High King whom would turn the tide of the battle.

I have pondered over his words for hours now, My Lady, and I see no reason to doubt him. Though his magnificent power is yet to be seen.

Your faithful scribe,

Peter of Bor.

* * *

_(The twentieth day.)_

_._

My most excellent Queen,

There are no words for this.

_(In here there are a few words scribbled, however, the handwriting is unintelligible.) _

I guess I must start from the beginning.

Yesterday evening ( I can barely believe just five days ago I was sitting on the deck with The Emrys- Merlin, I must call my savior by his name if he wishes for it.- and everything was right with the world.) But yes, yesterday evening a storm hit, as fierce as the bards say. There was thunder, there was rain…it was all so sudden….

I, a feeble old man of almost eighty years of age, was starting to feel the aching of my bones as I made my way through the deck when it begun. Almost out of nowhere the Captain was there, confirming all of our fears_. 'Hurricane a'commin'! Stand fast! Secure the riggin'!'(1)_

I remember distinctly the quick dismay that overcame my every sense and I believe that, perhaps, that is the reason why I did not follow Princess Mithian's warnings and went below deck. But I witnessed one of the most majestic scenes that my eyes have ever seen for, there to help the passengers, were King Arthur and Merlin, both of them cloaked and soaked, the High King shouting orders and defending those that could not make it below, The Emrys standing tall and entwining his fingers above his head as the water changed its course at his wish…(2)

And there I was, watching with an open mouth. Thankfully, I was too stunned to even move because I believe that I would've died had I seen the monster face to face as the Captain did. But I only felt its slimy, green tentacle grab my ankle and the coldness of the freezing water over me before I heard a distinct scream of – _Kraken!_ And then I was underwater, way too quickly for my liking.

But before I had time to panic and give way for the cold water to enter my lungs I saw a figure dimly approaching. It was him! My Lady, it was The Emrys, who'd dived in after me. His eyes glowed like two suns in the darkness of the freezing waters and suddenly I felt the tentacle constricting my poor leg slackening. The Emrys pulled me by the armpits and then his eyes grew wide. I saw with dismay that both of his ankles were now being grabbed by the slimy monster.

He did not panic, however, and his eyes flashed gold again. Before I could lose consciousness I was out of the water and two strong arms were grabbing the fabric of my blouse and I was coughing and spluttering. (Later I realized that King Arthur was the one that grabbed me though I still don't know how he _knew_…) and someone was slapping my face. A voice screamed desperately for me to answer where the _hell_ (King Arthur's word, not mine My Lady.) was Merlin and I could only mutter _'the monster.'_

I lost consciousness then and when I awoke to a grim looking Princess Mithian it was because of the incessant shouting that I could hear on deck. My Lady, I'd never felt so powerless. I witnessed King Arthur climb onto deck with his Court Sorcerer, shouting like a madman. Then, I was under once again.

It could've been years but only hours went by before I woke up in a makeshift bed with King Arthur looking down at me and The Emrys sneezing by his side. He asked very politely how I felt and I answered that I would be alright before remembering my savior. I am not ashamed to say that I wanted to bend down on my knee for that extraordinary man whom I had treated so poorly. But instead King Arthur only adjusted a Camelot-red cloak around his sneezing Court Sorcerer and told me that there was no need. He said that I should rest and that he was happy to see me open my eyes.

However, I took the Emrys' wrist and pleaded for his forgiveness. He said '_there is nothing to forgive_.' argued that he was glad he had saved me and asked me to _please_ call him by his birth name. _Merlin_. Then, he sneezed some more and King Arthur materialized by his side instantly, ruffling his hair and unlacing his own cloak to place it around his Court Sorcerer's shoulders. I watched all of this with wonder.

I am now writing this for you, My Lady, with an admiration that knows no boundaries.

I believe the bards were right, My Queen.

Forever your servant,

Peter of Bor.

* * *

_( Letter from Princess Mithian to his Majesty, King Rodor of Nemeth.)_

_._

Dearest Father,

I hope you are alright back home. We arrived safely yesterday and Arthur sorted the matter quickly. We only had one minor incident with a rebellious mercenary but Merlin took care of it and no one got hurt.

But Father, you will not believe me when I tell you what happened as we entered the Northern borders! A kraken - a _kraken _ like the one old Lucy used to tell us about- attacked us! I wish I could tell you about it but nothing written will ever be enough. It is a magnificent sight once you work past the terror.

It is hard to imagine but the kraken actually managed to take one of us. Do you remember Julia Leodengrance's scribe? that little old man with round glasses and a pouting expression? Well, father you must believe me, the monster managed to wrap its tentacle around him and took him below the water. I screamed and the Captain did as well and before any of us noticed Merlin was jumping towards the water and I jumped forth to grab Arthur's arm before he threw himself overboard after his best friend.

Arthur thrashed but I managed to knock some sense into him. However he still perched himself precariously on the rail of the main deck and looked at the water with wide eyes. I still don't know how he did it but just as the Captain tried to force him away from the black waters Arthur stilled and then screamed a warning at the same time the poor scribe sprung from the water, almost- certainly - by work of magic. Arthur grabbed him by the tunic and managed to get him on board, slapping his face and screaming for Merlin.

And I must confess that my heart dropped when the man said that the monster still had him.

Before any of us could do nothing Arthur was already doing an spectacular leap towards the water and resurfaced a few moments with Merlin, screaming for the Captain. He was too slow, however, and I had to throw Arthur the rope and then help the crew reel them both back into the safety of the deck. I remember thanking all of the gods when they finally lay on the wood but then starting to panic just a moment later because Merlin was not rolling and spluttering like Arthur was. In fact, Merlin was _not moving at all._

I think both the Captain and I noticed it at the same time and we both ran forwards but Arthur was there first. He shook Merlin's shoulders and screamed improper words that I shall not write down and then began hitting Merlin's chest with his fists. I just watched, petrified. But when we were all about to despair Merlin began coughing water and thankfully it all was over.

Almost all of it, anyway. He might've survived a kraken but dear old Merlin caught a cold, after all. Isn't that ironic, father?

It_ is_ ironic father but the most hilarious incident by far happened a few hours ago when we finally made it to dry land. Arthur, blond, regal, impressive, came out of the ship first, skipping- father, _skipping!_- through the ramp and meeting with the Saxon delegate, Faust. Before any of us made it out of the deck Faust was already asking about the policies Arthur wanted to implement and what should be the course of action if something is to happen. "Ah!" Arthur said. "You see, I have my _secret weapon_."

I had to fight the urge to laugh at the hopeful, adoring look on Faust' face. But soon I could not stop myself anymore when Arthur called for Merlin with that imperious tone of his and the aforementioned man tumbled across the deck, messy black hair, pale blue eyes and face tinted with green. He moaned as he wrapped his fingers around of the wooden structure and I patted his back consolingly. Faust' jaw tensed and I was sure that a muscle in his neck was about to pop. "_That's_ your secret weapon?"

Arthur, as clueless as ever, didn't even turn but just nodded and beamed. And, to my further amusement, Faust observed with distaste. "It looks as if he's about to faint."

That wiped that smile right off Arthur's face. With a scowl he turned around and crossed his arms on his chest, looking so much like you father that I could not stop my guffaw. His tone was almost yours, father, when any of us does something you don't approve of. "_Merl_in, stop being a girl and come here!" Paying no heed, Merlin just doubled over and retched downwards, towards the sea .

Needless to say, Faust was not impressed with the all-powerful warlock ( until this evening when Merlin was forced to conjure a fire-dragon, that is.) and I must agree that the mighty Emrys getting seasick is one of those mysteries that make life sweeter.

Your loving daughter,

Mithian.

* * *

(1) My admiration and love for whomever gets the reference will be undying.

(2) One thing. Totally inspired by ATLA, on one of the episodes I love the most. 'The Awakening.' has one of the most awesome scenes ever when Katara makes the water rise and become vapor to conceal their ship from the fire nation. Yep, I totally stole that. Epicness. :)

Love and kisses and rainbows and everything that makes the powerpuff -girls for all of you (sparks and everything nice, wasn't it?.),

Ocean.


	12. On The Fields of Celidon

To the Guest Reviewer 'Nance.': Do you have an account? I would love to be able to PM you! :D

Graduation. It turns out the oh-so-awaited-moment is actually one month away and my senior year of high school is about to wave bye-bye. I am way too excited to even think properly and whenever someone mentions college I turn into a blubbering mess.

Anyway, have fun with this chapter! It's from the point of view of an OC that some of you will recognize and, by the way, I'd never ever even think about writing something from his point of view if it weren't for Foxare's awesome suggestion.

**WARNINGS**: Violence and angstiness.

I think the length of this excuses my tardiness. :)

This could be seen- well, it _actually is_- the preamble to chapter two of this collection. A long, long time ago someone asked me if I would do it and I remember thinking that I'd probably never do it. This proves everyone has to eat one's words once in a while. ( It could also be a tag to 'Family.' if seen that way. ;) )

This was requested by **Foxare**: "Hmm.. I was wondering if you'll write a story from Amhar point of view? Either it's little Amhar, young Amhar or teenager Amhar.."

Teenager Amhar it is! I know you were also looking for: '_Amhar-Merlin godfather relationship_.' so I tried to dab into it a little bit. ;) Hope you like it!

(If you are one of those people that need to picture the characters I'll tell you right now.

Amhar- Chris O'Donell as d'Artagan on the 1993 'The Three Musketeers' movie.

Galahad- Eddie Redmayne as Jack Jackson on Pillars of the Earth.)

Recommended Soundtrack:

Timshel- Mumford and Sons.

Surface of the Sun- John Murphy.

* * *

"Galahad." the warlock said gently, looking directly into Galahad's eyes with his soulful blue ones. "Please take care of them. Especially of Amhar. I know you barely know them but he is a good and noble little child."

- (Chapter 17) Through The White.

* * *

**On the Fields of Celidon.**

* * *

But you are not alone in this  
And you are not alone in this  
As brothers we will stand and we'll hold your hand  
Hold your hand

And I will tell the night  
Whisper, "Lose your sight"  
But I can't move the mountains for you.

_- _'Timshel' Mumford and Sons.

* * *

_War_. It was not a word any of us wanted to hear. But we could see the towering flames and black smoke; we could hear the echoing screams and the witch's cackling laughter. Father's knuckles were white were they clutched his sword. Mother's hands shook on the balcony's rail.

Around us chaos reigned. Some knights gathered weapons; others ran as they fastened their cloaks. Fresh bread and fruits were being packed hurriedly by Mary and the rest of the kitchen staff. In the end, no one was prepared for this and as consequence it was a hasty departure.

Father shook his head as he turned around, squeezing my shoulder briefly. "We're off at dawn tomorrow." He told Leon, who had stopped beside us with two crossbows. "Make sure the knights are ready."

Though Leon nodded and hurried off there was no need. Most of the knights had loved ones living on the outskirts of Albion and many had already lost people that were dear to them…I'd seen the determination in my knight's eyes and I knew that they were ready from the moment the witch began this bloodbath. Yes, a bloodbath it was. Father had spent a fortnight massaging his forehead, as he always did whenever our people suffered.

It made my blood boil…just _the thought _of so many innocent lives already lost to the witch's greed and blood lust. Knowing that there was so much we could not save…so many families broken apart…

"Arthur, Gaius asks for another leather bag to carry his supplies…" Mother said as we walked through the bedlam. "…he estimates he'll need at least two mares to carry sufficient bandages and tonics."

"Wait," I could barely believe my ears. "Gaius is going _too_?"

Father turned towards Mother, "Tell him he can take all the horses he needs." His pale eyes then looked at me. "Of course, Amhar. Who would see to the wounded?"

I stared at the back of his head as he sent a servant for more leather bags and Mother ran in the direction of Gaius' chambers. When he placed a hand on my shoulder I could no longer hold back. "Father, who's actually _staying here_?"

He squeezed the back of my neck. _"You_ are. I would trust no one else with the affairs of Camelot."

"Mum was supposed to be staying too." I argued as we walked. "And yet you are letting her go now-"

His footsteps started resonating on the marble floor when he began stomping. "Your Mother knows what she's doing…"

He wouldn't meet my eyes so I grabbed his arm and stopped us in the middle of the hallway. "Look. You know I've always done what you've taught me and that to me your wishes are orders. But I cannot sit here while my _family_ goes off to war!" His jaw tensed and something flashed in his eyes. I knew that I was treading a thin line but I just didn't care anymore. "Even _Galahad_'s going! Why is it that you insist on _leaving me behind?"_

He closed his eyes for a moment, as if to regain his bearings, and then placed a hand on the crook of his nose. "Galahad…" he said slowly. "…is a knight of the Round Table and five years older than you."

My jaw was probably as tight at his. "I am seventeen years old! I've trained with the best swordsmen on Albion and learned from the most skilled weapon wielders in the five kingdoms! I am _your son_!" He was looking at me, then and I could spot a shadow of doubt in the blue of his eyes. With a hopeful heart I asked him, "Why can't you just let me go?"

But as soon as it appeared that little spark that hinted to a change of mind disappeared and he squared his shoulders, looking every bit like the Once and Future King he was. The man whose orders were obeyed…no matter what.

"I have my reasons, Amhar. You _will _stay on Camelot with Geoffrey and Bedivere and you _will_ be regent on my absence. Is that understood?"

He knew as well as I that Geoffrey was perfectly capable of taking care of the city's affairs for a week but he seemed to have forgotten. After squeezing my shoulder one last time and looking at me with the same commanding gaze that he reserved for his armies he started walking towards the courtyard.

But I could not let it slide no matter how I tried and perhaps it was the Pendragon's blood inside me what prompted me to scream after him, "No, it is _not _understood! You're letting your head rule your heart! You know that I _need_ to go with you!"

He stopped dead on his tracks and I raised my chin defiantly though my heart beat wildly inside my chest.

Slowly, he turned around. But there was no anger in his features and he did not stomp when he walked towards me. He just placed a hand on my shoulder once again and looked into my eyes with his. For a moment it looked as if he understood.

"Don't _ever _think I'm doing this because you are my heir." He said gently. "This is not a matter of state, Amhar. I am your father and I know what's best for you. You are not going because this is my sister and she's far more dangerous than any other foe you've-_we've_- ever encountered. That's all."

"I can take care of myself." I said quietly.

"I've never doubted that." He answered with a mirthless smile. "But this is power of the likes you've never seen before."

"You don't _understand_…" I tried again, frustrated beyond belief. "I-I will stay in the healing tents if that's what you want from me. But I need to be there. I can't stay here and _not know_-"

"You won't stay in the healing tents." He argued monotonously. And for once, in his posture and in his eyes, I could see the arrogance Merlin mocked so much. "You are _my son_. You won't be able to stand by and watch as our people are massacred."

"And you think I'll be able to stay here and _wait_ as my _family_ is massacred…?"

But before he could come up with a lame excuse again Gwaine popped by our side and told him that he was needed on the knight's quarters. With one last squeeze on the back of my neck and after quickly ruffling my hair my Father was gone.

I watched him go with a knot on my throat and a weight on my heart, thinking of the only person who could make him see reason now that all hope was beyond me.

And that person was Merlin.

I found my godfather walking briskly on the east wing of the palace, adjusting two thin straps of black cloth around his wrists. He didn't even notice me at first, seemingly too distracted with something on his mind. But when I started walking beside him he looked at me and smiled with that same goofy smile that had been my constant for years.

"You have the same expression your mother has whenever she's anxious." He winked at me. "C'mon. Out with it."

"Father doesn't want to let me go." I told him. "He won't see reason."

"I see." said Merlin, finishing his handiwork and looking into my eyes with an amused expression. "He won't listen to Gwen and now you want me to try, is that it?"

I grinned. He knew me too well. "Got it in one, Uncle Merlin."

My godfather stopped walking and so did I when he pulled gently on my wrist. There was a sparkle on his eyes that I'd seen counted times before, one that softened the shadow age had left on his face and brightened the sobriety that sometimes furrowed his brow.

"Amhar," he placed his hand on my shoulder and offered me a gentle smile. "I know you're upset, I know you're angry but…have you even considered that maybe your father has a legitimate reason for doing this?"

I looked at him, dumbfounded. My heart skipped a beat as I stared into his wise eyes. "A _legitimate_ reason? Uncle Merlin, he wants to _leave me behind_!"

"You have to understand…" Merlin continued, squeezing my shoulder almost too hard. "Your father lost his own father to Morgana as well as his knights. He almost lost your mother, Gaius…I don't think he would be able to bear losing _you_ too."

With one look into his soulful eyes I found myself speechless. Because there, staring me from the depths of his irises the naked truth was palpable and ever-present. I knew, without a doubt, that my father's poor excuses were an effort at disguising his fear of losing the people he loved.

Nevertheless, I could not stay behind. Because _I_ was not able to bear it.

My godfather squeezed my shoulder, ruffled my hair as my father had done minutes before, and went on. My heart almost exploded on my chest when I saw my battle lost and I ran after him, grabbing his arm so strongly that he snapped his head towards me. "Uncle Merlin…what if it was you? What if father left you behind? Would _you _be able to do it?"

He sighed and shuffled his feet. "Amhar, I-"

"Don't even try to deny that you would follow him. I know you."

He grabbed my shoulder to stop my fidgeting. "Amhar." His voice was soft. "Don't speak of things you don't understand. Your father and I-"

"I know, I know, the Once and Future King and Emrys." He sighed and attempted to go on. "I'm not pretending to understand what you two are." I interrupted desperately. "I just want you to see the position _I'm in_. I _know_ you would not sit here and wait for him to return, letting worry eat you away."

With sorrowful eyes one of the greatest men I've ever met shook his head.

"_Amhar…_"

But I did not stop, not even when I saw defeat was fast approaching. My voice was hoarse as I pleaded for him to _see_…

"Please Uncle Merlin. Out of everyone…you must see that I _canno_t stay when my family goes off to war…"

But I could see in his eyes that he could not be moved though I knew in my heart that he…understood.

.

My mother kissed me goodbye the following morning and promised me she would return. Father reeled me into his embrace and asked me to be strong. Gaius asked me to be good and hugged me tight. Galahad squeezed my shoulder and told me that he would write as soon as he could. The rest of my family, the Knights of the Round Table, all waved goodbye with cheery eyes.

Merlin stopped his white mare as he went out the gates, putting one pale hand on my head. "Be safe, my boy." He said with a soft smile. "I'll make sure they all return. You'll see."

Little did I know those were prophetic words.

**...**

Geoffrey did not object when I told him of my plan but rolled his eyes and pointed at a cloak that he'd already taken from the laundry room.

"I would think it strange if you didn't go after them, young prince." He said as I tied the dark cloak around my shoulders and fastened a quiver of arrows on my back. "You are after all, _your father's son_."

A little over a day after they'd left I rode towards the fields of Celidon (1) with two swords on their respective scabbards, a bow and a quiver full of arrows on my back, and a heart full of steady purpose.

It was night when I arrived. I could see Camelot's golden emblem glitter with the light of the bonfire's flames and just the sight of it brought peace to my heart. On the other side of the battlefield, over the surrounding hills, there stood a half-demolished structure that seemed flicker with magic-born light. I knew then that it was the place the witch's men had taken as refuge and fortress.

I realized then that I did not know what I would do. I couldn't just waltz in and ask Father to let me stay; he would probably just send me back with Uncle Elyan or Leon. I thought for a brief moment of making camp outside and join Mother and Gaius on the healing tents once the battle started….

But before I could make up my mind I felt an all too familiar hand on my shoulder and looked beside me to see Merlin, cloaked and clutching his staff with his left hand.

My heart shot up my throat but he just shook his head and smiled.

"Why am I not surprised?" he chuckled as he lowered his hood and studied me with those eyes that knew me so well. "You wouldn't be Arthur's flesh and blood if you didn't try this. God only knows how many times I helped him escape right under Uther's nose."

I couldn't stop the full smile that embarked my face. "You're going to help me out, then?"

He let out a sigh followed by a smile of his own. "I have an idea, my boy."

That was how I found myself on Kilgarrah's back, grasping one of Merlin's hands with my own and listening carefully to his every word, not being able to thank him enough and feeling tears prickle my eyes at the mere thought of the battle that was approaching.

"…promise me," my godfather asked with another squeeze of my hand. "That you'll be careful. I've ordered Kilgarrah to survey the field and attack only when it's _absolutely necessary._ You'll be safe with him. Isn't that right, old friend?"

"No harm will come to the princeling, Merlin, you can rest assured." answered the ancient beast with a flap of his powerful wings. "However, you must remember…"

"…You're not a horse, Kilgarrah, we know." I finished for him and perhaps it was the gratitude on my voice what stopped him from rebuking and sparkled the glimmer on his eyes. "Thank you for this."

The Great Dragon huffed as I patted his neck and Merlin increased the pressure on my hand. I turned towards the man that was my second father, hoping that my eyes could tell him everything words could not.

"Merlin I-"

"There's something else." He continued with a wink and a pat on my cheek. "Come back to us, Amhar."

"Merlin," I placed a hand on his shoulder and fought the sudden knot on my throat. "I don't think father would blame you if something were to happen to me."

He smiled, then. And that smile would stay with me forever, even after he was gone.

"Oh no, my boy." He told me quietly, "It's not Arthur I'm worried about."

Dawn painted the horizon with orange hues as we parted and we both knew what was unspoken. But the hand I had on his shoulder tightened and I said with all my heart,

"You've been a father to me, Merlin."

When Kilgarrah finally took flight Merlin's smile was brighter than the moon above us.

**...**

The Great Dragon surveyed the battlefield, just as Merlin had asked of him. The eerily quiet hours of the dawn were preceded by the awakening of the knights and the screams from both sides and as Kilgarrah flew closer to my people I was able to hear Father's voice, calm and commanding, inflamed with faith on the men he'd trained. My heart almost burst with pride for the man that was Albion's greatest King…the man I had the joy to call father.

With a throbbing heart I saw Father saying goodbye to Mother as the impatient horses began whinnying, I saw him give some last minute wisdom to his knights and ruffle Galahad's hair to, finally, make his way up to the hill were Merlin was squatting while firmly gripping his staff, lost in thought. I could not hear any of the words they exchanged but I know that half of it was their accustomed badinage and the other half just glances that neither of them needed to explain for they both _knew_. The wind began hissing through the grassy fields with unexpected force when the hand Father had on Merlin's shoulder loosened and they finally parted. My godfather looked at Father's retreating back until he was out of sight.

A few moments later, with a well-known scream of _'For the love of Albion_!' that had my heart skipping beats on my chest, the battle began.

Looking down from the sky I saw Merlin straighten to his full height and nail his gaze, as a hawk would with its hatchling, on Father's running pure blood. Albion's warriors let out a battle cry as the two sides were about to collide and a split of a second later, after only one heartbeat of silence after, they did.

I've never seen a more gruesome sight.

For the first time since Father started warning me about the witch I understood. This was not a simple feud with Mercia or a battle with Lot's forces. This was what my knight's nightmares were made of, what Merlin seemed to relive whenever he was lost in thought, what my father feared with every drop of his blood.

There were Necromancers and wizards hidden amongst the black-clothed army of the witch, men that had no soul and smiled as they sought to inflict damage on the honorable warriors of Albion. With dry lips and wide eyes I saw, as if it were a disgraceful dream, men fall in the midst of horrible screams and lying on dirt without moving. I saw Father make his way towards the center of the carnage, Excalibur slashing through bodies and armors effortlessly. My father and King's face was something otherworldly, something that I'd never seen. It was truly the rightful rage of the Once and Future King.

Yet, however powerful, rage cannot stop men that seemed to multiply by the thousands from the cavernous depths of the valley that Kilgarrah began surveying.

Suddenly, rumbling and sending shivers through my spine, Kilgarrah let out a low growl that shook the surrounding hills. Leaning over to try and see what had undoubtedly upset him I caught a glimpse of the witch's minions, running and gesturing wildly.

With another terrifying roar, Kilgarrah shook his gigantic head. "She is not here! The _pariah_ has fooled us all!" and then, a cry that rumbled as a thunder in the sky_. "MERLIN!"_

Hell broke loose.

Kilgarrah's roar was immediately answered by Merlin snapping his head upwards feet below us and then starting a frantic wild race towards where Father was battling, still at the top of his horse. The Necromancers that had already set their sights of him started closing down from the sidelines at the same time hooded men made their way to the center of the carnage, right to the heart of the battle were Father was killing by the thousands. With my heart on my throat I saw my godfather's fight against time, one that he could surely not win….

Unless…

"_Kilgarrah, let me down!"_

He spoke over the hissing of his beating wings. "Young prince, I made my Dragonlord a promise!"

From below us, I heard Merlin let out a desperate scream.

"_Arthur is a trap! Wait_!"

But it was too late.

I think Kilgarrah knew it from the moment my Father spurred his horse so that it trotted towards the fortress the enemy had taken refuge in and charged, never minding that he was surrounded by heartless men from all sides, the situation was out of control.

And I think that when Merlin sprinted pass everything to get to Arthur without any thought and disappeared inside the half-destroyed hallways as well, he understood that the plea that ripped my throat could not be ignored,

"Your Dragonlord and your King will _die_ if they keep this up!"

With one powerful flap the Great Dragon began flying lower to the ground, letting out a low growl that iced the blood in the veins of those near. "Don't do anything that you might regret, princeling." He warned me as I jumped to the ground. I nodded while he took flight again, taking hold of a discarded horse's reigns as soon as I spotted the animal trotting aimlessly without a rider. A few gallops later I caught a glimpse of a fallen warrior, the Red Tree bright on his chest.

Sprinting towards the sound of battle, I could think of nothing else but how my heartbeat resounded through my skull. The horse, which was easily as restless as me, whinnied loudly as we rounded a hill and came into full view of the bloody battle.

My _family_ was there. My knights were there, fighting for justice and freedom with their lives. My heart pumped faster with gratitude and brotherly love when I saw them.

Elyan, Leon… Gwaine, taking two men at the same time, looking as if he was having as much fun as when he trained on the fields of Camelot…Lancelot, fighting further than any of them, wielding his sword with instinctive ease…Percival, charging as a roaring bear would, breaking with his muscles noses and splintering legs…

And, finally…

"_Amhar?"_

Of course, even before I was near them Galahad had already spotted me, immediately guiding his horse towards mine, ignoring the screams and cries of pain that erupted around us. His hands were caked with dirt and there was an angry cut on his cheek. He smiled, all the same. "Couldn't wait to join the fun, huh?"

I didn't answer and spurred the horse, stretching my neck as I tried to spot my father or Merlin with no luck. Galahad followed me without question, stopping by my side when a sudden blast sent a wave of power in our direction, stunning into silence the battle around us.

For a few moments, all of us, Camelotians and the Witch's minions…_stopped_. My heart beat so hard that I thought it would burst out of my chest.

Galahad was the first to move. He drew his sword with naked fingers and tightened his grip on the hilt, as if preparing for everything and… nothing.

"You think it was Merlin?"

"Most definitely." I said, pushing the words through my dry throat. He narrowed his eyes but I simply nodded as I tossed Galahad my own sword and wrapped my fingers around the light bow that rested on my shoulders. "Think we should give them a hand?"

"Your father would kill me if he knew I let you near _this_ battlefield." Galahad answered. But soon enough a mischievous smile lightened his features. "Alright, let's do it!"

We hurried through the scorched earth at the center of the field were the castle used to stand proud, now only a quivering mass of rocks. The knights of Camelot- my _knights_- sweaty, bloody and exhausted received our battle cries with enthusiastic cheering. My arrows flew true through the air, piercing knees, arms and hearts of Morgana's army as they went by.

Then, the battle opened before us and it was clear that what I'd just seen was nothing but the tip of the iceberg. It was a slap on my face, the full sight of what was going on when our horses trotted through the destroyed courtyard of what once was a proud castle.

There were men dying, blood pooling beneath bodies, tearful cries for mercy mixed with the occasional gurgling of someone who'd just been decapitated by the heartless men that had been, all too obviously, summoned by Necromancers.

I knew from the look in Galahad's eyes that my face was clouded with rightful anger. Arrows shot from my hands quick and sure as they hit their targets. Our horses almost flew through the stone as we doubled a corner and came face to face with Sir Percival and Sir Leon, who were running towards what was left of- I supposed- a throne room.

"Amhar, what are you-!"

I did not even look back as my horse rushed through the stone and came to an abrupt stop, whinnying when I jumped from its back and loaded another arrow.

"Galahad, you better-!"

I could feel the smile on my friend's face as he screamed at Leon, "Sorry, no time to talk now!"

We ran through a corridor, skipping through the fallen rocks, and I not once faltered in my resolve of reaching, as soon as possible, my father and his warlock. But even though we hurried, even though we fought tooth and nail to make it...it wasn't enough. When we finally caught sight of Father and Merlin both of them were at sword-point, kneeling on the dirty, mushy cobblestones.

Kneeling and pressing my back against the barely-standing wall so that we'd be covered my the debris around us I dragged Galahad closer and, shoulder to shoulder, I held my breath as we watched.

The Saxon that held my father tightened his grip and the cool tip of the blade biting the King's throat dug a little further- we could barely see it from our hiding place but the menacing, quite scary look in Merlin's eyes told me that blood had been drawn.

"Look at this sword, Banan!" the man holding my father cackled, tossing Excalibur to who seemed bright enough to be their leader. "Doesn't it feel different?"

"You're telling me…" the Saxon named Banan said, "that this man is not your fabled King? _The Once and Future King?_ Because I would recognize a weapon burnished by power anywhere…" He turned Excalibur in his hands and his cold eyes nailed in Merlin's. "And it is said you are power incarnated."

Merlin's eyes blazed with fire. "Just let him _go."_

"Nah, I don't think so Emrys. Even if he is not our little King, we cannot let him out of the hook."

"I _swear _if you touch him-"

But Banan gestured with his hand, as if amused. "Don't swear when you know it will be futile. I am quite convinced we've got the right man in front of us."

Once more, Merlin's eyes could be sending lighting down…

…that is, if father had been free.

"There are Necromancers placed around Camelot, Emrys." Banan said, "Some placed around _your_ rather pathetic village as well."

I gritted my teeth when I understood and memories of that woman that had been family to me since my early infancy surfaced.

_Hunith._

I felt a wave of nausea raise inside me as this-this _monster _smiled at Merlin. Galahad let out a low hiss and began advancing but my hand on his chest stopped him from moving any further, even if I itched for revenge too.

But Father voiced our thoughts well, anyway.

"How dare you!" the roar was out of my father's throat before he could control it and not even the warning glances Merlin sent him stopped him from lashing out, the rusty blade cutting his flesh and drawing a pained gasp from him.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Banan warned casually, tossing Excalibur to the man closer to him. "You are still defenseless without your weapon. A rather fine sword."

He suddenly turned, as if all his attention had shifted towards the tall man by the other end, and eyed Merlin with those eyes that spoke of cruelty and greed. Eyes that reminded me of the witch's.

"I'm going to make this simple for you, Emrys." Banan said softly. "As much as it pains me to admit it your magic is a threat to all of us. But it doesn't need to be. We can find another way."

Merlin stiffened, rising to his full height, never minding the knife still pressed to his back.

"Tell your Lady my answer_: there is no other way._ I'd rather die than betray my king."

Those bright eyes immediately locked with my father's and I had to fight the urge to call out Merlin's name and demand him to _stop_. I could see in the sheer resolve hardening my godfather's face that there was something incredibly stupid and risky he was thinking of doing_._

Disappointment darkened Banan's sharp features but it not a moment sooner I saw a slow smile crept upon his face. "It pains me to admit it; I would've liked you to take that offer. The other option is not quite as useful, you know?"

Oh God, one look into his eyes and I _knew_ what the other option was. It was _unthinkable_. It could not be.

"You want me to give up my life." Merlin said practically, without a drop of emotion. "Eliminate the threat at the exchange of hundreds of lives."

"Got it in one."

"How can I be sure that you and your Lady will not kill them all anyway?" Merlin asked coldly, ignoring my father's muffled growls.

Banan, who could already sense a bargain coming and his mission accomplished, signaled one of the hooded men around them. This time it was Galahad's turn to hold me back when one of them nicked father's upper arm with his blade.

"What's stopping me from killing him now?"

What was left of Merlin's compassion dissipated. The gentle spark on his eyes faded, as a slowly melting candle.

Galahad's fingers, dirty with soil and soot, wrapped around my wrist. "Amhar..." I almost couldn't hear his whisper. "This is not good."

I fought the urge to answer him with a strained, _'really?_' and tried to stop my heart from bursting with fear. In my life I've seen that look in Merlin's eyes counted times. It never preceded anything good and I_ knew_ that this time would not be different. I nailed my eyes on my godfather and counted the seconds as they ticked by, praying for a miracle...

"Well?"

It seems as if it happened a hundred lifetimes ago, the moment when Merlin's eyes found mine, almost as if he'd known that I would disobey him all along. For a second I wondered if Kilgarrah had told him. But the next moment I no longer cared.

Because Merlin's eyes swirled slightly with shimmering gold and I could do nothing but gasp when the cobblestones we were kneeling on began to crack and break, almost as if an invisible hand was carving on the dirty floor.

_'Hold him back._'

and a second later the same gentle handwriting wrote down,

_'Be safe.'_

When I pulled my eyes from the magic-born words and raised them to my godfather Merlin's face was devoid of all expression, blank, a mask he assumes whenever his actions are too much for him to bear. Galahad muttered something by my side and the hold in my bow almost splintered it in two. From that moment on I did not notice the battle around us.

Merlin's voice could've rivaled the Great Dragon's roar when he cried out, "Stand back!"

The man holding my father immediately did and Father stepped away reluctantly, reacting to the pressure of the blade on his throat. I knew that he would've never walked away otherwise. And I also knew that Merlin would never force Father away if it was not for his own good...

But did that meant...?

I shook my head, denying what I could feel coming and instead wrapping my fingers around Galahad's chainmail covered arm, perhaps to get support, Perhaps to hold him back. Perhaps both.

"What is it, Emrys?" Banan taunted. "My men are thousands. It is either you or them. One false move and he-" he gestured with his chin towards father. "-_dies_. People at Camelot die. Your choice."

The dagger on father's throat dug a little deeper, as if to make a point. Merlin..._paled._

"But if you are gone..." the Saxon continued, "All attacks will cease. I am a man of my word, Emrys."

There was a heartbeat of silence. Then,

"Arthur. Arthur _I'm sorry_."

Merlin's words were too full of regret for any of us too bear. Galahad's eyes watered and he almost began to speak but my hand on his mouth stopped him from crying out. Either way, Father's voice would've drowned any pitiful sound he would've been able to make.

He waited a few seconds before saying, trying to be heard above a storm that was fast approaching. "No. I don't..." it truly looked as if he didn't understood. As if he didn't _want to_ understand. "...What are you talking about Merlin?"

The winds was picking around us and soon dirt swirled on the air. And I knew then as I know now that this was not natural, that this the work of magic ...and that Merlin is and always will be the bravest man upon this world.

I understood the meaning of the words carved on the stone, staring at us with silent urgency, the moment it happened.

The moment the world crumbled down.

Merlin's eyes were no longer two blue points of hazed desperation but bright beams of golden light that shot towards the sky when, with a roar that should've split his throat in half, he screamed words in the Old Tongue. The sky rumbled. Lighting fell down. I saw my father's face, the way his eyes widened when he finally realized...

"NO!" That scream could've been from any of us. But I know in my heart, by the sheer agony it echoed, that it was my father's.

There was a fleeting moment in which the wind around us was strong enough to pick up the debris and swirl it around and then, before our very eyes, the man holding a dagger to my godfather's throat let out a terrified howl, Merlin's eyes closed and everything shattered into a million pieces. Debris and glass rained down on us and so did the screams. Brown dust swirled around us when it was all over and after I rubbed my eyes hastily, wiping away the ashes I saw what was left of the world I'd known since my birth.

"Merlin..." Galahad moved faster than I did, rubbing his eyes and wiping his hands on his trousers, looking around. The dust gradually cleared and the heavy brume died down but my heartbeat, almost borderline hysteric, did not.

Still doesn't.

Everything that happened after was almost instinctive. Father did not look surprised to see me, he simply stared at the spot where darkness had swallowed my friend and his light. He took one step forwards. Then another. The dust cleared and I saw black scorched stone where Merlin and his captor were supposed to be.

It was too painful and I looked away, suddenly aware of the tears running down my cheeks. Father's steps were barely perceptible until he let out a terrible scream and started running towards the swirling black mess where torn pieces of clothing swirl and with a squeeze of my eyes I understood that was what's left of the man named Banan.

The words written on stone before me flashed for a moment, _'Hold him back._' and the next second I was already sprinting forwards and wrapping my arms around him, using my strength to push him back, even though he screamed and trashed and doesn't even noticed that his son is there when he isn't supposed to be on a battlefield...

Finally, he fell to his knees.

The man behind us yelled with a broken cackle. _'We've done it! The Emrys is dead!' _and father was up before I could even register it, impaling Excalibur through his gut. Then, everything fell silent.

We did not move until the knights found us. Father said nothing as Gwaine appeared and saw me, ( _Amhar, you sly dog!_) as Leon informed us that half the army is dead, destroyed with the blast that held within the force of a thousand suns. The battle was over. Camelot was victorious.

It is not until I knelt by his side and forced him to look at me that he reacted. Gripping my arm with sudden strength he looked into my eyes and let out four words that stung my heart. _"He is not dead."_

I held him up as we went towards the camp.

**...**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**...**

Now, sitting here on the brink between what I know as truth and what I'm trying to deny, I can only finish my story with a dry throat and stinging eyes. Mother's grip on my hand is almost too strong. She is crying too.

"Galahad...?"

My old friend clears his throat and sits by our side with shimmering eyes. "I saw it all, My Lady."

She turns to the knights, never lessening her hold around my shoulders. "The battle...?"

"We fear it was an ambush, Gwen." Uncle Elyan answers quietly. Gwaine is still banging his sword against trees out there and Lancelot hasn't spoken since he sat down besides Gaius. "Morgana was never here."

"She wanted Arthur out of the way." my mother whispers, turning her face away to wipe her tears. It's another stab to my heart. "She knew he would go after her."

"...apparently Necromancers were already waiting for the Once and Future King on what's left of that old fortress." supplies Percival with a shake of his head. "Arthur didn't stand a chance."

_Not without Merlin_, I think silently. And I can't help but wonder if everyone else is thinking it too.

"Kilgarrah has taken flight." Gaius sighs heavily as he speaks. I've never seen him look so old. "We don't know what he was after."

Thunder roars outside. The pouring rain doesn't end and becomes louder when a rough hand makes way through the Camelot-red fabric of our tent. It's Father. It's Father and I've never seen him look quite as murderous. He's wet from head to toe, his face is pale and his eyes are bright. He says it again, with the same low intonation:

"He is _not dead_."

There's a moment of silence in which he looks around with bleary eyes, daring us to defy him. No one does.

I know he's right. For years I've been witness to their uncanny relationship, to the silent understanding, the slight giddy smiles they have when they think that no one's looking. I know the legends as well as I know my people. Now that I see what the poets spoke of, now that I see the sheer and complete resolve on my father's eyes I understand.

The knights, however, shake their heads and sight out loud, regarding their King with what can be no less than pitiful expressions. Gwaine's sword still slashes wood outside, Lancelot still doesn't look up from where he's sitting and Galahad doesn't even try to muffle the loud way he blows his nose on mother's handkerchief. My father doesn't notice and nails his eyes on Gaius, as if looking for assurance there.

"He can't be." he says, rubbing his blood-shot eyes and I don't know if he's trying to convince Gaius or simply stating what he knows to be true. "Gaius. If he's _dead_ then I-I..." he gestures at his chest, unable to go on. Unable to explain.

"I hope you are right, Sire." answers Gaius with a heavy sigh. "I hope you are right with all my heart."

Father does not answer but turns around instead, looking at me.

" I believe you, father." I tell him through the knot in my throat. Mother's hand squeezes mine. He looks at me as if he's seen me for the first time and I see the way his eyes blaze before a tender shadow clouds them. I can't help it. I stand up until we look at each other in the eye and squeeze his shoulder, trying to tell him with that simple action how my heart trusts him.

His blue eyes blaze as he looks at me and I see a muted request,I see that my faith in him is something he needs though he won't admit it. His hand is suddenly gripping the back of my neck as he chokes, "I was wrong. If it weren't for you, my son..." he trails off and I know what he is thinking. That perhaps there would've no one to stop him from rushing into the falling debris and exploding walls. From colliding with magic too ancient to be understood.

Merlin had known. '_Hold him back._' he'd told me. '_Be safe._' he'd ask. He _knew_ what father would try to do. And that thought is enough to fill me with new-found courage.

"We'll find him, father." I whisper to him. His eyes glimmer with something that could be tears. "We will. _Together_."

There's a moment of silence in which he says nothing but his grip on my neck is tight and his eyes squeeze shut. The next, he hugs me fiercely and I hug him back with as much strength as I can muster.

"Yes we will, Amhar." he answers against my hair. "Together."

* * *

"This is beyond understanding." said the king. "You are the wisest man alive. You know what is preparing. Why do you not make a plan to save yourself?"  
And Merlin said quietly, "Because I am wise. In the combat between wisdom and _feeling,_ wisdom never wins."

― John Steinbeck, _The Acts of King Arthur and His Noble Knights._

* * *

(1) A battle that took place on a mount called _Celidon_ where King Arthur fought against foreign invaders. This battle is also notable because the wizard _Myrddin_ fled after the battle. ( aka, I adapted a battle for the purposes of this little fic. ;) )

Happy belated Easter!


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